Little Miss Nice Girl has left the building
Lovefraud: How to recognize and recover from sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists and other abusers › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › Little Miss Nice Girl has left the building
November 13, 2016 at 5:16 pm #24108
After coming on here, I have also spent some time reading about narcissists and psychopaths. The guy who I used to know fit so much of the bill, it was scary, particularly on narcissism, so I have been forearmed. The hoover arrived in my inbox this morning. After a month of stonewalling me, “Hello darling, I’ve been really busy meaning to get in touch blah blah blah… I think about you blah blah.’ A joke. No respect for me. No respect for my boundaries. Message deleted. Obama had time for his family in 8 years in the White House FFS. He didn’t even respect me enough with the pretence of friendship before he tried to restart and he thinks we can pick up where we didn’t leave off…
I’ve done a lot of reading and soul searching. I’ve been a target for narcissists in the past, both male and female and finally, I can let it go, because it was never about me. It was about them and their empty vampiric souls. I just want anyone feeling low to read this and have hope. You can get strong and you can do it in a shorter time than you think. Robyn’s song ‘With every heartbeat,’ I know silly, but has been so helpful to me… I no longer require validation externally because I have learned to like and love myself… and that’s all love bombing is, you finally think someone truly appreciates you and loves the YOU you struggle to love yourself. But with love and self respect has come the acceptance that it is OK to have boundaries and anyone that disrespects them is not welcome in my life. Surprisingly I must be putting out some good Karma, as having read Natalie Lue’s books, I dropped every ex who had treated me badly from social media… and all but one who rarely uses it anyway have come back to me and apologised for their past behaviour.
Love yourself people. I’m finally happy enough with myself and being nice as a definition of myself doesn’t mean I have to accept being walked all over. If someone does not treat you with love, care, trust and respect, it doesn’t matter how obsessed you feel, or needy you are of them. YOU are not the thoughts that randomly pass through your brain. There is a higher self to nurture. Do not overvalue sex, or chemistry, or be too darkened by loneliness. When you feel sad when treated badly, it’s because you are allowing your higher self to be disrespected. Anyone on here who is hurting, the worst thing you did was be an empath and that’s a beautiful, wonderful thing that these soul destroyers crave because they don’t have it. Love yourself and you will never be unloved or unloveable.
Thank you all and good luck. Xxxx
November 14, 2016 at 4:50 am #24111
Hi greenstick, did the sociopaths apologize, too?
The problem with sociopaths is that if they apologize they almost always have a hidden agenda.
You are right with loving oneself- it has really nothing to do with us if the sociopath looks at us like a remote control that does not work properly anymore. 😀
Sadly in their minds we are nothing more than objects that is why in reality they don’t really care if they’ve treated you badly or hurt you on purpose.
To them it’s a game- it makes no sense to normal people like us (I’ve tried to wrap my head around it- never got to a satisfactory conclusion).
Much love to you, Nevaeh.
November 14, 2016 at 12:10 pm #24112
Of course he didn’t (there was an insincere version the night he abandoned me). The guy is a prick and totally ungrounded in reality. I think he still thinks that I buy his lies. I can’t be bothered to challenge him as he’ll just win that battle anyway.
I’ve decided (and maybe this is dangerous) I won’t be going no contact as I don’t see why I should hide away. I am much stronger and I’m just not going to play any of his games anymore as clearly every interaction is a game… I agree with you, I can’t get my head around it, but it’s his crap, not mine. I’m just going to evade him. He isn’t all that. My narrative is rewritten. I devalue and I discard him. We have power too… the educated empaths. 😉 xx
- This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by greenstick.
November 14, 2016 at 4:55 pm #24117
Ugh stupid me, I looked at her Instagram tonight and within 24 hours of feeding me that shit, he has taken her off to a luxury hotel in the Cotswolds. The man has no conscience and what fucking twat tries to keep a mistress but buys her nothing when the girlfriend is showing off what she gets all the time? I am worth so much more than either of them. The man is sick and shameless.
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