lf1

Hi – I'm a sociopath.

This topic contains 70 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by  Sellenna 7 hours ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #24484

    Me
    Participant

    Hello.
    I am a male who has been diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder, and would call myself a sociopath.
    “What the hell are you doing here?”, I hear you asking.
    I can and would like to dispel some myths about ASPD that I find rather intrusive and/or incorrect. Or, if you would simply like to talk to me as a type of therapy, that could also yield interesting results.
    I am not in your life, and thus, can’t and won’t try to force anything on you, or force you to do anything; and I will try my best to tone down any manipulation I might do.

    If you’re wondering what I could possibly get out of this – human behavior is one of my most favorite things to witness. Your comments, however worded they be, would suffice. I’m not going to try to pull some shady manipulation on anyone here.

    • This topic was modified 2 weeks, 1 day ago by  Me.
  • #24489

    Me
    Participant

    On an unrelated note, I really do find the ads here amusing.
    “The #1 Most Common Mistake That Kills A Man’s Attraction”
    “The Biggest Mistake A Woman Will Make That Will Turn Him Off”
    etc

    This website, though there are some male users, was designed with women in mind, and so are these ads. These women, that come here after being manipulated, lied to and abused, look at this website, and what do they see?

    Guilt-trip advertisements that place the woman in the wrong. Of all the places to find manipulation, I wouldn’t have thought I’d find it here.

    • #24659

      Alaska
      Participant

      Ha ha…ya, that is funny 😆 about the ads. Ironic. True, that!

  • #24490

    Donna Andersen
    Keymaster

    Self-identified sociopaths have commented on Lovefraud in the past and it has been enlightening. This topic can remain as long as our prime rules are followed – Do not attack other members of the board, and do not post anything that is patently offensive.

    If anyone feels triggered by this person, please skip this topic.

  • #24498

    howdoimoveon
    Participant

    Hello,

    I am intrigued by a sociopath posting on this site. Can I ask what are the myths that you would like to dispel that you find intrusive/and or incorrect? I am open minded and willing to hear your points of view.

    • #24500

      Me
      Participant

      Sociopaths aren’t inherently bad people.
      Chances are, you are friends and/or acquaintances with quite a lot more sociopaths than you realise. The statistic is about 1 in every 20.
      Now picture personal friends, work colleagues, roommates, family friends, etc, counting up to 20, then repeating.
      How many times did you reach 20?
      Shouldn’t you be experiencing a lot more sociopaths in your life than the current amount?
      What if it’s because being a sociopath does not mean you have a predisposition to be a bad person? Sure, I wouldn’t doubt for a second that if someone were inclined to what the majority would look down upon, being a sociopath or psychopath would boost what they do.
      What I’m saying is – just because someone is a sociopath, does not mean they are the scheming, manipulative, dead-inside criminal that every movie or game or film or news article or youtube video or book makes them out to be.
      I mean, I’m not perfect. When I was younger, I used to set fire to bins in the night for entertainment, but I’ve never caused anyone emotional harm, set some conniving plot in motion, exploited anyone for sex, etc. I do quite a bit of manipulation on a daily basis, but it’s mostly just to get people off my back, to see how people react to situations, or just to probe how I convey information to other people because I’m usually bored at the time.

      Sociopaths can have a meaningful relationship
      Be that with a friend, partner, colleague, a sociopath can have real friends, or a relationship. Yes, it seems to be harder than neurotypicals, but I have friends who I like to hang out with. Being a sociopath doesn’t strip me of a sense of humor, of a want to belong or be liked, of an appreciation for intellectual debate. I get value out of my friends, but when I need to do some manipulation on any of them, I don’t feel guilty at all.

  • #24510

    SarahSmiles
    Participant

    You said you will manipulate your friends if necessary. Is there any way you can be out-manipulated? Or can you smell a trap a mile away?

  • #24519

    mzpris15
    Participant

    Can a Sopath be in a relationship with someone ffor over a year that they say they love, act like they love, look them in in face and say they love them, spend time with them and do all of the things normal people do in relationships. Ask them to get married then one day just leave and erase them from there lives because they said they never really loved them in the first place? Are they able to keep up a charade for that long?

    • #24520

      Me
      Participant

      Yes.

    • #24521

      Me
      Participant

      I am amazingly proficient at reading people, and can instantly know how my words and actions will or have affected people. If I am with you in person, I would know instantly if you were lying to me, or if something shifty was going on. I won’t usually bring it up in conversation with them, but I will remember it.
      I guess it could stem from my love of information. I’ve always loved to find information – especially information about people. I remember in high school, I’d go through people’s email accounts, facebook, private life, that sort of thing, and just write it down. See what people do, watch them, predict their behavior.

      Haha, sociopaths love to watch behavior, right?

    • #24523

      Me
      Participant

      I might elaborate on the long term relationship question.

      If a sociopath goes into a ‘relationship’ with someone with no intention of actually having a meaningful relationship with them (for fun, to manipulate them, etc) then yes – it would be easy for a sociopath to just shut them down and forget about them. But as I stated earlier, sociopaths CAN have relationships, albeit it’s harder to initiate and sustain. If a sociopath were to go into a relationship fully intending to have a real, meaningful relationship with them, they can still exit and discard the relationship, but it would be a lot harder on the sociopath, as they have actual feelings for the other person.

  • #24522

    Me
    Participant

    Oh, that reply about reading people was meant to go to SarahSmiles.

  • #24525

    bonnieg
    Participant

    I am less certain you’ll be able to give me guidance, as I am seeking assistance regarding my father, not a partner. But here goes, anyways. I am nearly an adult, and my parents are divorced, but my sociopathic father has called up and told me he is coming to see me. No discussion, no way to avoid it since he knows the rest of my family’s address due to alimony/child support payments. Do you believe he would try to physically harm me/abduct me? I remain in fairly regular contact with him (about 1 phone call per week or two,), and our conversations are for the most part pleasant. I know I should be concerned about this sudden visit, I just don’t know how concerned. How violent are sociopaths? And how much/how little are they capable of caring for their own children?

    • #24549

      Me
      Participant

      Unless he has violent tendencies already, I don’t believe you are in any danger from him. He may try to subtly get you to sway towards him, but that’s normal for sociopaths. It’s most likely just that we wants to see you. Sociopaths, as I said above, do have the capacity to care for people, and most probably cares about you. But do remember the ‘glow’ of attraction around sociopaths.
      Why don’t you take a step back, and watch everything through the third person? You can get to see what a sociopath can do without any effort.
      Could be interesting.

      • #24657

        Alaska
        Participant

        The one who calls himself a Greater Elite Narcissist/Sociopath claims that physical violence is “below him”, and he’d rather torture others with mental and psychological torture.

        He says there is: Lesser Narcissist, Mid Range, and Greater Elite. Of course, he is a Greater Elite Narcissist/Sociopath.

  • #24547

    winterk
    Participant

    Do sociopaths take their time forming bonds? A man friended me on Facebook 4 years ago who went to the same schools as me but several years younger. We commented occasionally on each others posts. At some point he started private messaging me…never anything out of line, he just seemed to have the same experiences/interests. At some point he got off of Facebook and requested my number so we could continue to speak…again he was never forward. Eventually we met in person when I was working in his hometown. Very casual meeting. We continued to be friends. He would go long periods of time without texting, but I didn’t think anything of it as I am married. When he learned my father was deathly ill he drove to the hospital and left some nice reading literature with the nurse to give us…never intruded on our privacy. He began texting me very regularly and at some point figured out that my 30 year marriage wasn’t as strong as it appeared. Even commented that I held my cards close. I was an emotional mess between being married to someone with a personality disorder and an ill parent. Yes, we started an affair. He seemed like my soul mate. I separated from my husband and began planning a divorce.After a few months of seeing him I saw a side that contradicted. found this website and put two and two together…noticed he lied about things, wasn’t always available, made me feel sorry for him. He almost got me to give him a large sum of money for PTSD treatment but I smelled a rat. He got angry and we split up. But a month later he begins texting me again telling me how sorry he was for how he acted. I accused him of lying to me and he went into a rage. He has threatened suicide. Stupidly I allowed him back into my life. He showed a beautiful side again to me…poured it on. Pushed to move to my town and live with me.Wanted me to get a divorce quickly so we could get married and live this perfect life. Then more and more lies. I told him I was going to work on my marriage and didn’t want to have a relationship with him anymore.
    I am prepared for the worst.
    My question to you…how can he act so normal for days or weeks at a time then totally blow it? I’m mad at myself for being a fool. But after reading stories on this website seems like a dodged a bullet. He once told me his ex wife told him he was a sociopath and bipolar. Why did he even tell me this? It confirmed my suspicions. Also told me he was only jealous of one thing from me…my relationship with my children. (He has no contact with his)
    He acts so miserable and seems to genuinely mourn his children. He seems like he is so miserable. Is it boredom? Does he know he’s a sociopath? Lots of questions I know but would like your perspective…

    • #24551

      Me
      Participant

      Very rarely does a sociopath go through life thinking they are normal, and don’t have some sort of personality disorder. Honestly, he probably was angry at you for figuring it out – you realising that he only went into the relationship with you for his benefit.

      I wish I could feel love for people. I hate how normal people can go about their lives, make relationships with people, go out and actually enjoy themselves with real friends, not have to disguise yourself every waking moment you’re with people. Actually settle down with someone, and not have to stop myself from manipulating and lying to the people I love. I hate myself because I can’t stop myself. My impulsiveness makes me do things I wish I could stop. Why did I have to be played this hand by life?

      Did anything he say go anything like that?
      That was just on the spot – imagine what I could do if I knew your weaknesses, your soft spots, and actually planned how to break you down?

      His want to manipulate you either outgrew or was always bigger than his feelings for you – if he had any to start with. He probably saw you as an opportunity for fun. Maybe for sex, maybe for money, maybe for attention, whatever it was, he never really cared about you.

    • #24656

      Alaska
      Participant

      Wow, I had a FB experience like this that lasted nearly a year. He was from another continent, but after getting to “know me”, he claimed I was his soul mate, and he was going to move here, and marry me. Of course, I was thrilled. This was the Honeymoon Period.

      Then came the Devaluation Period of Triangulating and Gaslighting me to the extremes and talking to others behind my back, and lots of other nasty tricks.

      Finally, the Discard, and the Smear Campaign on Facebook; Flying Monkeys included.

      Devastating to have someone tell you that they “live for you” and you are their “very life”, and then simply ghost and abandon you in the blink of an eye, with lies and smears to follow. Talk about Cognitive Dissonance!!

  • #24559

    winterk
    Participant

    Wow. Your reply struck a nerve. No, he didn’t say anything like what you said…I was actually waiting on him to admit it to me. I hinted at and tried to get it out of him by asking him if he was bipolar…told him I didn’t care, just wanted to know. If he would have used those words who knows. We may still be speaking. I believe he’s too afraid to get exposed. He’s threatened to expose the affair to my husband. Told me once he drove to my house and was waiting on us…of course it was a lie. I’m prepared for that. It won’t hurt me if he tells. I think he knows that.
    He has many times “threatened” to not contact me again. Every time I tell him it’s the right decision…he always initiates contact again. He likes to triangulate as well. He thinks it bothers me but it doesn’t. Just makes me realize more what I’m dealing with.
    I think he is angry that I figured him out. He was banking on marrying me and using my money. Sex was exceptional. He used that to keep me going. He also was a brilliant writer. What is it about the language skills of sociopaths? He could write a bestseller.
    Thank you for being so candid on this blog. I’m not sure what you get out of it. Maybe it’s interesting to you as well until you get bored with it.

    • #24572

      Me
      Participant

      Ooh, exposure, that being up another great conversation topic. Sociopaths love attention, and one of the best ways to do that is through pity. That’s why you’ll see sociopaths feign mental disorders a lot, especially things like depression, bipolar or schizophrenia. Or, and this is the interesting part, antisocial personality disorder. A sociopath will do everything they can to not be exposed, but will also like to hint at having antisocial personality disorder. I do it. I know a few others that do it. I can’t really explain it. I do however actually have ADHD, which I believe helps me analyse people and things, but also adds to my impulsivity. Why a sociopath that hates exposure would hint to people at having the very disorder they hope nobody finds out they have is beyond me.

      Thinking about it, it could be due to a sociopath’s love of mind games. Creating the dramatic irony that only the sociopath sees. The fact that I know something you don’t, and I dangle it JUST out of your comprehension. I do love doing that.

      • #24574

        winterk
        Participant

        Mine kept insisting it’s PTSD.
        Yes, he has thrown out a few hints to me. He would tell me he couldn’t be a sociopath because he had empathy for the handicapped or other sick veterans.
        The really cruel one was when he “dedicated” a song to me. The One I Love, by REM. I got the underlying meaning immediately. Told him how dark and manipulative he was… making it very clear to me that I’m “A simple prop to occupy my time” Actually I listened to it over and over to get over him. Made me feel in control in a way.I wrote him a very nasty email using the lyrics in the body of the message. He played dumb and said he thought it was a love song, but commended me on an excellent email.

        I must confess I have participated in the mind games knowingly. It was fun for awhile. I kept waiting for him to admit he has APD…
        Now he’s way too needy and not the person who I thought he was in the beginning so I am no longer interested. He didn’t play his cards right with me. I was an easy target initially but my common sense kicked in. He thought triangulating with other women as a threat would get me to take action and “claim” him. That failed miserably with me. I kept telling him I’m glad he has someone else since I’m not available. He mentioned how much other women were after him. I knew different. He stays in his house for weeks at a time just sleeping and playing online. He told me once that he was attracted to me for my love of living. When we were together and he was at his “best” he never came up to par except in the bedroom.

        It sounds crazy but I do miss him…not the parts that drove me away of course but the person he presented himself to be. He was very bright, had a funny sense of humor and wrote brilliantly…especially about us. He was my ideal. I know he studied me and tried to become that person to me. On texts and emails he was…but when we were together I was disappointed…had an emptiness…he always blew it. When he went into a rage once he scared me…that ended it for me. I can tolerate a lot but not bullying and yelling. I knew exactly what I was dealing with at that point and was smart enough not to let it escalate into something physical. It was if the mask fell off and I saw the real him. So sad because I loved him.

  • #24568

    Madelaine
    Participant

    I do project work. I just got triangulated by a sociopath who got to my big boss with a story about me having a ‘mental health episode’ after [sociopath] intercepted a private email written to my line manager about why I didn’t want to work with [sociopath].

    I replied to my boss’s email of concern as a sane person (basically, “this is not a big deal and I have no wish to discuss this). My boss emailed back, “you are in denial. [Sociopath] is very upset and you have destroyed a great friendship and working relationship. I don’t play blame games. I insist you explain why you suddenly hate [sociopath]”.

    I gave a few facts re my growing realization that [sociopath] was a pathological liar. No emotions, just verifiable facts.

    Big boss emailed back, “Stop lying, you are irritating me”. I’ve not got any project work since. Both my line manager and Big boss think [sociopath] is the best person ever. Both Line and Big live in different cities so all contact is via email.

    My question is, is there any reply I can give to my big boss that will save my job so I can continue to get project work? Big boss will eventually figure out that he has been gaslighted in a year or two, but that will be too late for me. I need this job.

    • #24571

      Me
      Participant

      Maybe show him this specific blog page?

  • #24584

    melgoreng
    Participant

    Hello. I believe my ex bf is a sociopath. We were together 2 years and we got very close. He opened up to me to show his dark side. He likes to watch torture videos, he stabbed baloon just for fun, he got angry personality and created story that his job is secret agent. I’m a soft hearted person and fell for him thinking I can fix him hence sticking for 2 years. I feel like I’m the only person who ever get that close to him. He is an orphan and live a fake life in front of his adopted family. At least that’s the story he told me. When I thought all gone well and we get closer, he broke up with me without explaining reason just 1 month ago. Then gone disappeared.

    I got pregnant 2 weeks after the break up, desperately looking for him. He replied with denial words and offer money. Then I found out that he got married with a woman I dont know existed. I left confused and ruined without explanation. When I told him I know about his wedding, he emailed back hope someday you can forgive me. I dont know this person at all! We had so much memory together and now it looks like all a lie?

    In any case, do you think he can come back and look for me in the future? Or this just it? I block all his contacts yet somehow he can still find me if he want. Should I say rude things to make him go forever or will that intrigue him to “play” with me again? Or should I say nice words such as I forgive u so he got bored and find other prey? I’m so worried. He is a dangerous man and I can tell his wife has no clue his real side yet. I dont see any woman can handle him. And nope, he is not a human who capable to feel love, guilt, and compassion.

    • #24586

      Me
      Participant

      No human isn’t able to feel love, guilt or compassion.
      My personality disorder makes it harder for me to feel those emotions, but they’re not gone. They just aren’t all that strong in me, and I have more control over whether or not I wish to feel that way at the time. ASPD, like a lot of other disorders, is a spectrum. Everyone is on this ASPD spectrum, except about 95% are very far on the ‘neurotypical’ side, rather than the ‘ASPD’ side. But you will never find a completely un-ASPD person, just the same as you will never find a completely ASPD person.

      I would probably just forget about him.

      On a side note, this ‘dark side’ of his as you put it, isn’t in itself a bad thing. As long as he doesn’t condone any of it, it’s fine.
      Stumble too deep into places like Deviantart and Tumblr, and you can find artwork depicting rape, torture, incest, etc. And people masturbate to it. There’s nothing inherently wrong with them, as long as they don’t condone it.
      You may be asking how I know this. Well, I AM a sociopathic sadist. And to think there’s still secrets I haven’t said…

  • #24597

    Fudd
    Participant

    Perhaps you have insight on the million dollar question: How do I escape from the Spath?

    Sadly I married and procreated with him (I’ve since divorced him) but the courts have awarded him 50-50 custody. What I can’t figure out is how to escape. I suspect the only thing he cares about is not being exposed. Threatening to expose him seems awfully dangerous, though. Any thoughts on how to get him to lose interest in the kids and myself?

    Oh – and the ad thing – it’s targeted advertising. So the ads you see on your screen are reflective of the recent activity on *your* computer. I don’t see ads like that.

    • #24599

      Me
      Participant

      Very tricky. I mean, you could threaten to expose him, but that would piss him off and maybe even make him start working on completely cutting you off from your kids. You’d need some evidence, but he’d probably know something’s up if you were to try to film him, or provoke him.
      Once you’re married him it’s very tricky, but since you have kids already in a half/half system with him, there’s really not any options.
      Maybe inform your kids about ASPD, but don’t tell them their father is a sociopath. Teach them about mental disorders and such.

      Oh, and about the ad thing – I use a browser where targeted ads don’t work on me. It switches between the ads I mentioned above and some adobe software.

  • #24598

    Alaska
    Participant

    Hello,

    I just joined this site, and I was wondering if you are still open to answering questions?

    Thank you!

    • #24600

      Me
      Participant

      Yeah sure. I don’t intend on leaving.

  • #24601

    Alaska
    Participant

    Thank you for your reply. I was wondering -[if it would not take up too much of your time]- if you could explain to me the “dance”, or dynamics, between a BPD Woman, and a Sociopathic Man? Can a Sociopath really handle a BPD Woman? How about visa versa? I believe that the BPD looks to the Sociopath for the self- control that she lacks in her own chaotic world, especially when she is triggered?

    Amanda

    • #24637

      Me
      Participant

      As I’d see it, in a scenario that the sociopath doesn’t want to have a genuine relationship with you, but wants to keep you around, they could play on your fear of being abandoned, they could try to make you feel like shit when you actively try to get them out of your life. They could set themselves up as a bedrock of help and stability in your life, all to make you see them in a better light.
      I wouldn’t be able to tell you exactly how things would go down since every case is its own, but the fact that the BPD fears abandonment wouldn’t help, and the ASPD knows it. It just cycles, until the BPD leaves for the last time.

      • #24640

        Alaska
        Participant

        Yes, thank you for your help with my question. I do appreciate it.

  • #24625

    Alaska
    Participant

    There is a Blog Site run by a self-proclaimed Sociopath. Most of the women on there act like they worship the ground he walks on, and tell him how magnificent he is every chance they get. It gets a bit much.

    Anyway, When I ask him questions, he is short and arrogant with me, if he even post my questions or chooses to even answer them. Everyone else, he is witty, funny, adorable, flirtatious, and acts like their friend or lover.

    Why does he single me out as if to make an “example” of me to others with his very short, arrogant, and haughty answers to me? Why me?

    I just don’t understand. Any ideas? I have BPD, and he knows this. He acts like he hates me personally, but is okay with everyone else.

  • #24626

    winterk
    Participant

    Alaska,

    Get off that site. You are only getting hurt worse. You said your SPath is an author….could be him messing with you

    • #24630

      Alaska
      Participant

      Yes, I have.

      • This reply was modified 2 days, 9 hours ago by  Alaska.
    • #24641

      Alaska
      Participant

      Thank you, Winterk.

    • #24697

      Sellenna
      Participant

      Those women sound pathetic, and so does the self-proclaimed sociopath. I wouldn’t take any of them seriously if I were you.

      He might feel that you’re not fawning on him as much as those other women are; hence his hostility towards you.

      Perhaps they’re all teenagers, or at least some of them are.

      • #24698

        Alaska
        Participant

        Thank you, Sellenna…yes, I am off the site for good. It triggered me badly. I could not worship him; rather, it made me very angry. It reminded me of a big love fest, and I did get very angry, sometimes, because the triggering brought out the worst in me. From what I understand, they are women in their 30’s to upper 40’s who have all suffered Narcissist abuse and are clinging onto him because of the validation he provides. But, he is a sociopath, who delights in who he is, and has mentioned on several occasions that he is a god, and the devil.

        I, too, was charmed by him, at first, but then I couldn’t handle the worship anymore, and it triggered hostility in me, and brought out my worst. I do not know why it brought out hostility in me, and not his other minions.

        • This reply was modified 8 hours, 35 minutes ago by  Alaska.
        • #24700

          Sellenna
          Participant

          They’re adult women? That’s even worse. It sounds like you might be healthier than they are, since you got sick of the worshipping, and they haven’t learned from their experiences with narcissistic abuse. It’s so sad that they seem to need validation from this lowlife.

          Good for you for being off that site. So many sick, crazy people out there.

  • #24638

    winterk
    Participant

    Can a sociopath be in denial of who they are? Can one have internal struggles within?
    I’m having trouble getting mine to let me go…

    • #24644

      Me
      Participant

      Usually, an ASPD will think they’re normal throughout childhood. They may wonder why people act the way they do, respond to (mostly emotional situations) they way they do. They will learn as a child the best ways to get attention. It’s only later in their life (usually around the age of 16 – 18) that they realise that something might be askew in their brain. It isn’t unheard of that a sociopath hates the way they are, but a lot of the time, they just will accept it.
      Most sociopaths don’t want to get involved with other’s daily affairs, because they don’t really care. An exception to this are the people that brought you to this website.

      • #24686

        winterk
        Participant

        Can one ever be friends with an ASPD after having a relationship? Or is that their way of keeping you connected to them? I’m having a hard time with this one.

        And thank you for your responses.

        Another question, you say you have never caused anyone emotional harm, but in the next breath you said you wouldn’t hesitate to manipulate any of your friends…that can cause emotional harm depending on the person’s value system.

        • #24690

          Alaska
          Participant

          Winterk,

          I hope my response does not deter the Sociopath from answering your question as I know he has the true experience in which to answer you, but while you are waiting on his help, I wanted to let you know that each Narcissist/Sociopath who ever wanted to continue to be my friend only did so to not only continue hurting me, but to do so ever more so, causing even further harm, and much deeper abuse, and even more despair for me to dig my way out from when they were all done with me, or I was all done with them 😞. There were four (4) of them, and always ended this way- more hurt and pain.

          It was so hard to fathom that I could not believe them because they were each so remorseful, loving, and sorrowful; their tears seemed so real; they said all the right things. They spoke to my very heart. They each made me feel alive like none other, but all the while, they were planting their newer, bigger seeds of deception, lies, horror, “under the radar” abuse, smear campaigns, gas lightings, Triangulating, robbing me of my identity and self esteem, making me feel like the crazy one, [actually making me into the crazy one!!], spiritual, psychological, and emotional abuse to the hilt…along with major play on ABANDONMENT because I am BPD.

          I am so sorry, Winterk. You are having a very rough time; I can tell. I’ve been there, and am still spinning as you can see, too. Being on this site, here, helping you, is helping me to stay off the Sociopath’s site who deliberately hooked me.

          I admire the sociopath on this site because even though he’s a Sociopath, he’s enough courage to say that he erased my email address and that he, and I, should not correspond privately because it would take us both down a very bad path. I really admire that. The other Sociopath on the other Blog Site emailed me, FIRST, from my own Blogging Address, and ensnared me!

          He ended up playing everyone against me on his blog. He is a bully. Sadly, he makes money for being a bully. One day, things will be made right. I have faith in this.

  • #24643

    edge of sanity
    Participant

    CT-Good Evening.
    Why are sociopaths so controlling? Do they ever trip up on their lies?

    • #24645

      Me
      Participant

      A sociopath usually wouldn’t be tripped up in their own web of lies if they make one. If they do, it’s barely noticeable.

      I’m not really sure what you mean in your first question.

  • #24647

    Alaska
    Participant

    Deleted for Safety Reasons

    • This reply was modified 1 day, 7 hours ago by  Alaska.
    • This reply was modified 1 day, 7 hours ago by  Alaska.
    • This reply was modified 1 day, 7 hours ago by  Alaska.
    • This reply was modified 1 day, 7 hours ago by  Alaska.
    • This reply was modified 16 hours, 6 minutes ago by  Alaska. Reason: Safety Reasons
    • #24652

      Me
      Participant

      … and you believe him?

    • #24654

      Me
      Participant

      “Greater Elite Narcissist/ Sociopath”

      Really?

      If there’s one thing I hate, it’s arrogance. I could crush him and everything he loves with a fake smile on the outside and a genuine smile on the inside. I love tearing down people like that, and would revel in every moment of his suffering. There’s an intense power that comes with being a sociopathic sadist, that when you piss me off, I will make sure you remember it for the rest of your life.

      And this guy really pisses me off.

      Shame I don’t know him personally.

      • #24662

        Alaska
        Participant

        My email is: NONE

        • This reply was modified 1 day, 6 hours ago by  Alaska.
  • #24655

    Madelaine
    Participant

    How would you tear him down?

    • #24658

      Me
      Participant

      If I knew him in person?

      • #24661

        Alaska
        Participant

        Am I allowed to email you, or is that against the rules? I just cannot say too much here. He scares me.

  • #24660

    Madelaine
    Participant

    Yes to “Me’s” question, not to Alaska’s question.

    • This reply was modified 1 day, 6 hours ago by  Madelaine.
  • #24663

    Madelaine
    Participant

    Alaska: I don’t know what the rules are. However, you are asking an admitted sadistic sociopath if you can contact him to talk privately about how you got sucked in and worked over by a sadistic sociopath. WTF!!??

    No offense intended to you, “Me”. You have been very helpful to me, and I value your input as an ‘insider’, but I continue to be guarded in asking you questions BECAUSE I don’t know your intent. I will take what insights you can offer, but I will also make sure that I protect myself ‘just in case’.

    “Me”, when I read your reply to Alaska’s post, I thought to myself “mirroring”. I saw red flags waving wildly. Then I read Alaska’s response.

    Alaska, read the previous exchange between you and “Me” and see if you can see the mirroring that took place and how you reacted. I am not concluding that “Me” intends to play with you (which is a matter of “Me’s” intent; which neither you nor I can know), just that the exchange that took place is classic mirroring and you responded by inviting this guy into your private life.

    • #24666

      Me
      Participant

      Hell, even I wouldn’t trust me in this situation. (Get it?)

      I’ll just go off whatever is given to me.
      And I can say honestly, I have not once tried to be manipulative in this entire forum page (except for that one “I wish I could feel love for people” bit, but I used that as an example, and pointed it out). Any manipulation from me is entirely unintentional.

      • #24672

        Alaska
        Participant

        Yes, I get it. I do.

    • #24667

      Alaska
      Participant

      What is Mirroring, exactly? I am not certain I understand…

      • #24674

        Madelaine
        Participant

        “Mirroring” is the hook that sociopaths use to get you to trust them. They get you to talk about yourself. If you like dogs, they say they like dogs. If you hate rain, hey, they hate rain too. They “mirror” back your thoughts and feelings and dreams to you. You feel like you found your soul mate.

        You (the target) believe you and the sociopath are so much alike that you trust the sociopath instantly and deeply. Why wouldn’t you? He/she is telling you exactly what you want to hear. You are worthwhile and need to be helped and they can help you. The problem is that “mirroring” is not necessarily truth. The Sociopath might actually hate dogs, but is lying to you. He is lying so that you trust him. You won’t be able to tell the difference. Sociopaths are really, really good liars.

        In your exchange with “Me”, you talked about being a victim. you needed a rescuer. “Me” responded exactly as the perfect rescuer would. He got angry that you had been put in this situation. His anger validated you. Then he spoke about how he would avenge how you had been treated. He was your knight in shining armor. When I read his reply he was acknowledging your fear, validating your experiences and expressing outrage that this could happen to you. He might be telling the truth. He might be lying. The trouble with people (any people… I agree with “Me” that ASD is on a continuum and all people have elements of this) is that you DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU CAN BELIEVE. It takes lots of lots of interactions to get an idea (like at least 20 where trust can be built up little by little), but even then, sociopaths can keep up a mask for years. In ‘neurotypical’ (non-ASD) relationships, mistakes are admitted and goodwill is established very slowly over a long time. “Mirroring” is a strategy that is a quick and dirty shortcut to trick someone into trusting them.

        However, “Me” has said that he was not doing this deliberately to manipulate you, and this is as possible as the alternative, that he IS doing it to manipulate you. “Mirroring” in itself is not bad. It is a technique that therapists use. Parents also use it on their kids (think of baby talk with baby). This is what I meant by “intent”. Just because someone uses a technique, does not mean that they are planning to suck you in. “Me” could be genuinely expressing his feelings.

        I was alerted to the possibility because “Me” has already said he was a psychopath. I might be wrong in my initial assessment of “Me”. I will alter my judgement after prolonged interactions if necessary. In the mean time, I will keep my guard up. I assume that “Me” understands this, because of his/her initial posts where s/he said something like, “I don’t expect you to believe me”. If Me was telling the truth, then s/he would be expecting suspicion and doubt from many people on this site. I believe that “Me” can give us some really useful insights, which is why I am grateful “Me” is on this website. However, I am also keeping my guard up.

        In short, my flags for you were: “Me” quickly responded in a way that was most sociopaths’ favorite manipulation technique. a) you have identified yourself as acknowledged victim material for a psychopath (easy pickings) b) “Me” identifies him/herself as a psychopath c) “mirroring” was used (not necessarily a bad thing in itself), but my first thought was “this is mirroring”, rather than “what a nice, helpful guy”. Then d) you responded by asking this guy into your life to help (save) you.

        This is a really good way for you to learn what is like to be “mirrored”. The interactions with “Me” (and how good it feels to be instantly understood and validated) are equivalent to 6 months of therapy IMO. This is why I am glad “Me” has offered him/herself to help us fill in the gaps of our own experiences.

        • #24678

          Me
          Participant

          I never said I did it for Alaska. I was genuinely annoyed that someone would call themselves a “Greater Elite Narcissist/ Sociopath”

          • #24681

            Alaska
            Participant

            Deleted for safety reasons…

            • This reply was modified 19 hours, 10 minutes ago by  Alaska. Reason: Safety
            • This reply was modified 16 hours, 8 minutes ago by  Alaska. Reason: Safety reasons
          • #24691

            Alaska
            Participant

            Me, too. He can charm ANYONE, and EVERYONE. Everyone on his site loves him to pieces. They practically worship him, and if I said anything negative about him, all the other bloggers swooped in, like vultures, defending him, and tore me up. Yet, any comments I mentioned about his emails to me, he deleted so they never made it to his blog so others could understand why I was so upset with him. They only see him as “the greatest thing that ever lived”.

        • #24680

          Alaska
          Participant

          Madelaine,

          Thank you so much for your help and the information you provided on what Mirroring is all about. I understand better, now. Yes, the past Sociopath played me like a cat plays with a mouse.

          Thank you so much

          • This reply was modified 19 hours, 11 minutes ago by  Alaska.
          • This reply was modified 16 hours, 9 minutes ago by  Alaska. Reason: Safety Reasons
    • #24673

      Alaska
      Participant

      I wised up just now. Thank you 😊

      • #24676

        Madelaine
        Participant

        Also, the stuff about flying monkeys and people keeping tabs on you. That sounds like a teenager bragging. I suspect you make it easy for him to stalk you via facebook and friending your friends. All he has to do is phone up one of your FB friends and ask what you are up to, if you have already blocked him. So get off FB, get a new email account AND DON’T GIVE OUT THE DETAILS TO ANYONE WHO KNOWS HIM. Sociopaths are good liars and will contact your friends with a sob story (another favorite ploy) to get them to tell him what you are up to (eg, “no, Alaska was not in the hospital. I saw her skiing at Mt Olympus on Saturday”). That’s how he finds out what you are up to. Or, more likely, he is lying about that too.

        This loser has no secret powers. He’s a pathological liar. He’s just persistent and doesn’t take no for an answer. Most likely he knows you are easily scared and is playing on this. You have probably told everyone and his dog about your story (this is one of the traumatic outcomes of being toyed with by a sociopath, so is very, very understandable). However, this symptom of abuse is probably contributing to his ability to stalk you.

        If he has weapons or you feel he can get violent, get a restraining order and move. However, from his stupid bragging he sounds like a total loser.

        This is another example where “Me” has been helpful. If you read his response to my questions (what would you do?) he said he would destroy the guy by befriending him, and with a smile on his face. “Me” didn’t talk about flying monkeys and spies everywhere.

        Anyway, people like your ex don’t have any friends to do this weird type of stuff for them.

      • #24679

        Me
        Participant

        You really seem to be drawn to me. I would advise you distance yourself or things could go downhill for the both of us. I won’t attempt to make contact with you in any medium apart from this forum – I’ve forgotten and deleted your email address from my alt’s inbox.
        You should probably make your own alternate account if you decide to do something like that again.

        • #24682

          Alaska
          Participant

          Yes, I am sorry. It might be due to my BPD. I have a strange and very mysterious “addiction” to your kind ever since I was ensnared by the very first one a very long time ago. I also grew up in a very abusive household with a Narcissist mother.

  • #24664

    Me
    Participant

    I’d probably get in close with him. Real good buddies, but pretend to fall for his ‘charm’. Then I’d use my knowledge about computer and network security to install a worm on his home network, then, all of his passwords, pins, emails would be mine. I’d probably try to turn his followers against him whilst locking him out of his account. I’d set off security emails left and right saying “there is unauthorised activity in your bank account” and whatnot. Send drug dealers to his house. Do some real good defamation. Basically, get his name on a police list somewhere. Hell, I could even make his car speed with some special software. Get him really on edge and anxious. All the while pretending to be his loyal follower. Then, I’d hit him with the bulk of the plan. Seriously injure or kill his wife, kid, neighbour, and make all evidence lead back to him. Get some domestic abuse in there. Then, he’d think he still has me to rely on in court. That’s when I tell him everything I’ve done to him – come completely clean to him and only him. Then attest against him in court. Hopefully he’s get serious jail time for murder or serious bodily harm.

    This is all just an if situation though. No meaning behind the words at all 😉

    • #24669

      Alaska
      Participant

      Could you do this to someone from afar? I’m just asking because I’m hoping he doesn’t do this to me.

      • #24671

        Me
        Participant

        I would need physical contact to, uh, ‘work my magic’.

  • #24668

    Madelaine
    Participant

    So what is the worst thing you have done to someone who made you pissed off in real life? Did that make your anger go away against this person?

    • #24677

      Me
      Participant

      What I described above was a possibly route I could take if I really think he deserved it. If I were to do that, that would be the ‘worst’ think I’ve done to someone.

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.