Does this seem like an ounce of care from him?
Lovefraud: How to recognize and recover from sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists and other abusers › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › Does this seem like an ounce of care from him?
October 22, 2016 at 6:11 pm #23915
The ex sociopath said a lot of things that made me wonder. I had broke no contact twice and had went back to him and i started no contact again about a month ago. When i first got involved I didn’t know he was engaged i found out on my own 6 months later. Then i stopped talking to him but i started back because he told me he wanted me and was not happy with the woman who now is his wife. So that showed me how “happy” he was huh? When i took him back the last time he asked me “why do you love me and Why do you put up with me” along with lying about being single and having a fiancee he could not stay out of trouble with the law. Last i spoke to him he got arrested for swindling months earlier but somehow the charge got dismissed yet he was having to work more than usual to pay someone back a lot of money. He would not tell me all the details but i know con artist=swindler. He’s a thief as well, also got arrested for stealing a car years ago.
But my reason for posting is to get ideas on why he asked why i loved him and put up with him. Is this his way of acknowledging the empty deceitful person he is without saying it word for word? It almost seems like he’s saying what would a good person like you want with me. But that sounds to caring and if he was so caring he would not have strung me along in a fake love relationship for 6 months.
October 22, 2016 at 8:23 pm #23917
Maybe he is “pseudo-demonstrating” honesty because that is who you are, and what you want, and its just another ploy and then you get into an “honest” conversation…but its really then you who are answering and being the honest one.
It appears you know the truth and know that being in this relationship is not right for you.
If you were my daughter, friend..etc..I would tell you to follow the advice of the common themes on this site. Stop. Stay away, don’t go back – you will be so much better off when you clear your mind and time goes by. If you knew all you said about him on day one you would have never even talked to him cause he will do the same to you and others again and again. Sorry, but it will be OK.
October 26, 2016 at 8:47 am #23957
I’ve found the website Baggage Reclaim really helpful. I’m still devastated by the bastuard I got involved with, but at least it’s helping me to see what personality traits I had to feel I wanted to forgive him and take him back (and part of me still does) but how I can move on from that. The lady who writes it, Natalie Lue has some really good books on Amazon which I found helpful, which I have read ‘Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl’ and have nearly finished no contact, though I think now the chances of me ever contacting him again are 0, now that I know what his greatest lie and betrayal to me was. These men are nothing but cowardly little pricks. They are not that great, or that special. Take him off his pedestal and stop thinking too much about ‘what does this or that mean?’ It doesn’t matter. If he is hurting you, it is not love.
October 27, 2016 at 6:54 am #23965
Thanks for the replies. I think I was trying too hard to see some decency in him when there is none. I ruminate a lot trying to make sense of the senseless. My therapist told me when I started going to her that i was describing a sociopath and sometimes i’m still shocked that people have no care in them but I can’t unlearn what I’ve learned and the truth i found out about him while doing my own little “detective” work.
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