lf1

About to try no contact. HELP!

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  needreallove 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #23106

    shelly woods
    Participant

    So after many years of being with a narc and god knows what else he is. I just mentally can not do it anymore! I’m currently being subjected to the silent treatment for the 987th time and I know is due to end soon (this is how predictable my life is now!) pathetic really. Anyway I’m not sure what snapped in my head a week ago but after the token phone call I received that ended with me being told to eff myself and then a dramatic slam of the phone I didn’t call back. ( usually this sort of action would of sent me cookoo and that desperate, anxious feeling like someone is constantly kicking you in the gut that just won’t go away until you’ve spoke to him just wasn’t there? I havnt text (I’ve wanted too but resisted) and mainly I didn’t cry? Does this mean I’m finally getting stronger. I went too but managed to pull it together and refused to shred another tear over him. I feel like I’m waiting for the I’m sorry sand I miss yous now….. How do I do no contact? Nothing else has worked so far and for some reason I feel like this is it. I hope it’s it as Im fed up with being in hell now.

  • #23115

    Donna Andersen
    Keymaster

    Shelly Woods – Good for you! It sounds like you have found the strength to end it. Yes, No contact is the key!

    Please take this one day at a time. Relationships with sociopaths are highly addictive, so it helps to look at this like kicking any other addiction. If you ever gave up smoking or drinking or eating fried food – tried to kick any habit – you know that the best way to do it is one day at a time.

    Know that the longer you stay away, the stronger you will be!

    I suggest you type “No Contact” into the Google search bar at the top of this page and you’ll see lots of articles that will help you!

    Stay strong! YOu can do this! and You’ll feel so much better!

  • #23124

    needreallove
    Participant

    Shelly Woods – YAY for your strength!! This is my 1st day of restarting no contact and I changed my phone number and made sure he has no way of contacting me. We spoke yesterday after a 5 day silence while he was having 8 hour “discussions” with another woman. Amazingly, I kept myself composed while he dumped me and wished him the best of luck and to please not contact me anymore. It kinda helped that his cell phone was on my plan so I went online and cut it off the MINUTE we hung up lol.

    Anyway I immediately felt so panicky and sad BUT at the same time I felt FREEDOM like a big rock off my shoulders.

    It’s going to be hard going through this and I will miss him and cry. It makes it easier that he will have to get new cell service and I won’t know his number.

    You sound like a very strong person and I absolutely know you can do it! If you want someone to be strong with you, I will be here and we can go thru it together and support each other.

    Let’s both stay strong!!!!

  • #23189

    freeandhope
    Participant

    Stay strong girl!
    It’s working for me, even if my mind is trying to play tricks I’m letting it! I’m having awful days where I unblock and then five minutes I block again….crazy I know!
    So I asked myself….”ok if he called now what would I say?” And to be honest with myself…I realised I didn’t and don’t want contact mad don’t have anything to say to him that would benefit me!
    So strong and it will get easier. ❤️

  • #23191

    needreallove
    Participant

    Day 9 NC for me and I’m living in hell. The first few days were not too bad as I felt a little bit of relief along with my pain. Now it seems that all I can remember are the wonderful things and my mind has blocked out all the horrible things. Am I a terrible person for wanting him to hurt as bad as I do?? Everything I read tells me he will feel no hurt or remorse and that kills me because…..I don’t know what is wrong with me but I still LOVE him…OMG!!!!! I check my email every hour to see if he’s written me. I have to stop myself from writing him. I have started a Word doc that I’ve cut and pasted all the things I know are bad about him. Yet I am still going crazy. If he does email, I’m afraid I’ll respond. Please, please help!!
    Love to all.

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