Reply To: 2.5 months and haven't heard from him… Help!
Lovefraud: How to recognize and recover from sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists and other abusers › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › 2.5 months and haven't heard from him… Help! › Reply To: 2.5 months and haven't heard from him… Help!
Hi Taylorlynnx11, You are so welcome! Been there too. It’s a emotional nightmare to understand their behavior on your own. So happy that you found your way to Lovefraud, Donna (site creator) has saved so many people, including myself with her wonderful site. And like you, I was lost when I first came to her site. Confused, bewildered, wanting answers. SO keep asking away. I’m not sure if I can answer all but I’ll give you my thoughts.
Yes, narcisiist & sociopaths can get their “supply” from pets & children, a neighbor, co-worker, friend etc.
During my marriage we had a friend that who I believe now to be a narcissist and YES he too had a robot dog. I thought it was kinda of cruel to the pet during the time as the pet was not natural or happy. He was always waiting for the friend to give him a command. The poor dog never really played he just sat waiting. It was not until I left & started to have knowledge of what I saw & the red flags I saw with certain individuals did I fully understand. I think they should teach kids about narcissist & sociopath traits so that kids know to follow their guts.
I have read that one the wedding nights of some victims their mate literally changed going into rants & being abusive. I look back at my own relationship and their were RED FLAGS right from the second I met him, but because he has a large group of friends, I let my guard down. HUGE MISTAKE…we can never let our guards down in this dangerous world.
How was it fake? They just know that then are not normal. They know that they have zero emotions. They know they are different and they have learned to mimic others who have emotions. I also think that he was hanging out with lots of narcissist in the sport arena maybe many sociopaths too where he could let his guard down.
His life style I think added to his narcissists. You hear so many rumors about sports athletes who cheat on their girlfriend & wives and sometimes even when the wife finds out they still stay because they are controlled by their mate…stepford wives…aka robot.
I think wrapping your head around that fact that people on this planet who blend in can be evil is one of the hardest parts of recovery. My ex was pure evil. I knew this during our marriage…I keep saying to myself even in the beginning “I need to get away from him”. But he had my head so twisted up right from the second he met me that I ignored my gut.
Do you think your ex is a sociopath narcissist?
If so, he is PURE EVIL!!!
I dont think you are in “denial”, I think you, like most victims have been brain washed by him and that has lead to “cognitive dissonance” which means you are holding two different belief systems.
One = he is good
two = he is bad
Because he brain washed you with love bombing you “know” he can be kind, nice and loving. But it was a con game…these type of people would not normally get a nice person to date them so they FAKE it until they have the person hooked into their con game then they drop their mask.
Do a search here on love fraud up at the top right on cognitive dissonance and then do one on the net. Read everything on this subject. It’s quite emotionally when you start to unravel the trickery that they do. And it will leave you stunned. But the more you read the more you see the truth with this guy & more importantly with you relationship. That it was not all good…more like it was more all bad.
It takes time. Dont rush anything. When you read something stop and analyses it with what this guy did to you. Keep a note book on your bad thoughts him.
Also watch the videos Donna has posted up at the top of Lovefraud. They are excellent at explaining “Why” sociopaths do these things to control us.
Glad you had the courage to come to love fraud & post. This is a huge step. If you need to talk with someone Donna Anderson has a personal consultation program where you can talk with her on the phone & ask questions. If you ago to the top under “contact” you can find out more info on this. I have not used this service of hers, but others have and they spoke highly about it as it help them to further understand the relationship.
- This reply was modified 4 days, 7 hours ago by Jan7.