Reply To: Failed at No Contact
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Thank you all for the feedback!
I have felt so alone. Your comments help me know that I am not alone. Still, I wonder what the future holds. We’ve been back and forth for the last 1-2 years. Every big blow up, it’s “the end.” But it’s not really. This last time I really tried to end it. It was the first time I really realized what I was dealing with. Although it is very hard to accept.
The last break up was the first time he publically dated another woman. He put her pictures on facebook and introduced her to friends, etc. I feel that people think I am crazy for taking him back especially because of all that. I feel ashamed even with my own family. I am probably projecting my own shame on myself. There have been several times when he has done something and I have said “this is the end.” Something does feel different this time though.
Stargazer, what you said rings so true for me:
“Once you know his behaviors are just not good enough for you, and you know you have to leave, it will feel like you are having to bite off your own arm to get out of a trap. The emotions are strong and will pull you back. They will tell you that you are committed for life, that he is your husband (even if you’re not married), and that bond will be very strong. It takes an enormous act of will to walk away into the unknown and trust that you will get over him and find love again. Your mind knows the truth. Your heart will eventually follow your mind, but it takes time to heal.”
I wonder if I will ever be able to walk away. I don’t know if I will ever have the strength.