Reply To: Dealing with mutual friends
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Dear SurvivorNo27, Hello, and welcome to the forum. Seems’ I am often he welcomer, since I get emails in response to some threads and, well, I just write a lot! Donna Armstrong is the wonderful owner/host of the forum!!! Thanks and Yay, Donna.
Sigh, yours is “just” another issue of friends not getting both sides of the story. It’s really sad.
I used to teach piano to kids and adults. Mostly kids. Thank goodness I was old enough, and had taught for many years, when times got really tough in the media, from the media, and influenced parents against having their kids “alone” with another adult. I’d guess, especially a divorced single woman. I got spooked 3x by almost getting accused of molestation.
A next door neighbor had two daughters who were not my students, but who used to help me around the yard when I was gone for a few days. The girls liked me a lot. This witchy neighbor had a barking dog — early in the morning, day and late at night. It used to come right to my bedroom window and stare at me and bark. The window was only about 10 feet away from her fence. I took her to court to stop the barking and so she decided to get revenge by spreading rumors that I was a poor single woman who craved relationships with her daughters. What????? I craved???? Hey, I had 25 piano students!!!!!! Their parents trusted me with their kids, and their kids were terrific students, and learned pieces rapidly, as well as the basic of music like chords, ear playing, sight reading, accompanying …which the majority of piano teachers neither teach, nor even know how do do them. This neighbor even went to the newspaper with what a dumbo I was to attack her sweet doggie. The paper did not ask my point of view, just let me look like a crackpot. I called a friend who was a local elected city council member, and he said, “Leave it alone. You never want to get involved with the press or they will go after you big time.” But ha ha — even though she called my voice mail and snippily said after the judge’s decision in her favor, “Well! Now we see what is true about win-win.” Win-win was my solution originally to the barking problem, and I had suggested ways to make that happen, but she was not cooperative then. Anyway, that phone made up originally upset, but that upset did not last long — I realized it was a win-win!!! Because she thought she won the case (win for her) and the dog stopped barking (win for me!)
Just a story about me — if it’s not relevant to your situation, sorry for breaking in. But maybe it will help as another tale of betrayal. Hope you can find a win for yourself, by finding better friends. It really, really is a hard case when someone is accused of something they did not do. Very painful. I had this happen in a work situation one time, and there was absolutely no recourse except to quit the job, which I did. Fortunately there were other jobs to be had. Sometimes the unemployment rate is so high that there are no other jobs. I don’t know what I could have done then — except the boss died young of a heart attack — he deserved it — may his soul never rest in peace. Sorry for the blasphemy…..Maybe there was a new, better boss, but I doubt it, because the assistant boss was the one who accused me without evidence. Oh, rant, rant, rant.