Reply To: I am leaving – but I feel bad because I am not confronting him before leaving
Lovefraud: How to recognize and recover from sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists and other abusers › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › I am leaving – but I feel bad because I am not confronting him before leaving › Reply To: I am leaving – but I feel bad because I am not confronting him before leaving
cyndyinaz, Your gut is telling you that you can not talk to him rationally & then leave. Your gut is telling you to leave a note & get the hell away from him!!
FOLLOW YOUR GUT HON!!!
I too tried to leave my ex husband (a sociopath) many times…he always talked me back by literally spinning my head to a point I couldn’t even remember why I was leaving him. He too would wake me up in the middle of the night. He too would not let me sleep. This is what sociopaths do they will not let their victims sleep. Why? To literally wear down their victims to exhaustion so that they have complete control over us. Its ALL intentional what your husband is doing to you. It’s evil what he is doing with you so that you will not leave him.
I too had left my ex several times and a million times a day I wanted to run the hell away from him. The last week I was with him I was watching tv in the bed room while he was in the kitchen using his computer. He then came in yelling at me that the tv was too loud. This was all intentional so that I would not leave the bedroom. Who ever he wanted to chat with on his computer he did not want me out to hear it. This is why he came in off the handle yelling. It was crazy but it worked to keep me in the room. But what he did not know was I was on my computer looking up domestic abuse.
A few days later he did the same while I was painting the bathroom. I locked myself in the bathroom. I had enough. It was my breaking point. He then unlocked the door with tools continued to yell at me. I said literally nothing to him. He left back to his computer. I locked the door again. He then turned off the breaker to the bathroom. It was all crazy behavior to hide what ever he was doing on his computer.
I planned my escape while in the bathroom that day. A few weeks later I left him for good. No turning back. he had used his crying bs on my years earlier when I caught him in a two year affair. I stayed because he literally begged me to. Promised me he would change. He made promises like he would attend individual counseling & marriage counting, stop drinking, end his affair & never talk with the women etc etc. Guess what he never did one thing that he promised to do. I did not leave a note. I just left & then served him with divorce papers. He sent an immediate text saying “I thought we were going to work things out”….HELL NO, NOT THIS TIME!!
Sociopaths will say anything & everything go get what they want. Your husband will say anything & everything to get you to say. RUN RUN RUN..HON..your mind is open to what is really going on & he will never change EXCEPT FOR THE WORSE.
My ex’s abuse towards me got 1000 times worse after I stayed. His craziness got worse. His pathetical lying never ended. He would lie to me about what he ate for breakfast when I cooked it for him!! YEP!!
HUGE HUGS TO YOU! You are doing the right thing by leaving a note for him!!!!! I cant express that enough!! DO NOT TELL HIM YOU ARE LEAVING HIM!!!
Please contact your National Domestic Violence hotline (USA 800-799-SAFE) to talk to a free counselor about a SAFTEY PLAN & EXIT PLAN out of this relationship!
The MOST DANGEROUS TIME FOR A VICTIM OF ABUSE IS WHEN SHE IS PLANNING TO LEAVE OR HAS JUST LEFT…so please dont leave alone!! Get help from your National & Local abuse center. And also tell your most trusted family & friends that you are leaving him.
LOOK UP THESE TERMS ON LOVEFRAUD SEARCH UPPER RIGHT CORNER & ON THE NET:
Gas lighting abuse (him moving things around)
SOCIOPATH NO CONTACT RULE!!! (FOLLOW THIS!!)
Narcissist no contact rule
Watch the videos up at the top of Lovefruad!! They are excellent
If you have under age children look at the site One moms battle fro custody issues (also for divorce court).
Look at your husband as a CULT LEADER…and you has his CULT FOLLOWER…every time he gets you to talk with him either in person or on the phone he is brain washing you literally!!! SO this is why you need to go no contact with him. But please make sure you have a safety & exit plan in place before you leave him!!
Domestic Abuse Exit Plan
Domestic Abuse Exit Plan you tube
Then with the words Domstic abuse Safety Plan.
look at the Domestic Violence Hotline site.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE ANYMORE HON…WE HEAR YOU!! PLEASE REACH OUT TO THE HOTLINE & ALSO TO YOUR MOST TRUSTED FAMILY & FRIENDS.
btw. With regards to a sociopath..your post will NEVER be short!! Their craziness can not be put in a short post. So keep typing away & vent everything out. It’s part of the healing process.
Keep reading everything here at love fraud also.
Hugs to you tonight!!
Wishing you all the best!
****MAKE SURE YOU CLEAR YOUR COMPUTER HISTORY EACH TIME YOU SEARCH ON LOVEFRAUD OR ANY OTHER SITE SO THAT YOU STAY SAFE UNTIL YOU LEAVE!!
- This reply was modified 2 weeks, 6 days ago by Jan7.