Reply To: Failed at No Contact



Dear jay,

Yes, this was hard for me to believe too: ” It’s so hard to believe the person I have spent so many years with is intentionally evil.” I remember the first time I heard this — it was abusive men/people in general. It was in an abuse recovery group. The group leader said, “These people know EXACTLY what they are doing.” I was stunned. The one I loved was planning all these terrible things he was doing to me? In hindsight, it all makes sense now.

Another thing I’d like to offer — did you know that for addictions such as smoking, it often takes a person several tries — over the over — to break themselves of the addition? Some people can do it cold turkey, but few, I think, can do that. Each time they break off the habit, and then succumb again, they learn, they learn, they learn, till they “get it down” and are able to quit.