lf1

Reply To: Damn…I let him in…again

#25203

lovablemd
Participant

My situation is so different because I am a secondary source. He tried to make me a primary, he wanted to move in within a month of being together. I disrupted the love phase by admitting I had sex with him to his wife. So to make a long story sort, he has never really love bombed me again nor does he admit he is with another second source. I know nothing,which he knows annoys me. When I think about it, he was gonna leave his kids high and dry. So sad for them. I am the dirty secret I found out through education from You Tube videos. I know about her, but she doesn’t know about me. Maybe that is my underlining reason to contact her. That knowledge should have helped me the first time, no one should be a secret, but nope it didn’t, it just gave him more supply when I voiced it all to him.

I feel ashamed too. I am addicted to a human being. Saying that to anyone would make them think you are on crack. It comes and goes, but you can’t put yourself down Jaybird, because then you are more susceptible to his devices. Are compassion is what holds us in place for this guys. We hop and hope, but yes, I agree, education has cleared up so many questions.

Today is day 3 and I am counting like I am in a prison cell waiting for my hearing. I got the itch to unblock him, oh boy did I. Then I thought about the anxiety that would engulf every inch of me as I waited for a text from him and so I didn’t. He will show up, but when is the question?

Don’t be ashamed of being in love. We were fooled into believing we were loved. It will take time, believe in yourself. I was in deep especially after every intimate uh, session with him, I would cry for hours afterward because he left and I was alone and I wanted to be around him every waking second, which caused the jealousy toward his wife. Now the sex is quick with no effort on his part. He is helping me see his words are cheap and so is his effort.

Jaybird, how long are you with him before he discards you? What do you mean by worse, is it shorter and shorter intervals or is he getting nastier with you? Not seeing people and being secluded is what all these narcs want. Keep educating yourself, you are a strong beautiful person, who can truly love and be happy. You have my support!