Reply To: My ex keeps reaching out to me. After 14 months, he mailed me a letter.
Lovefraud: How to recognize and recover from sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists and other abusers › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › My ex keeps reaching out to me. After 14 months, he mailed me a letter. › Reply To: My ex keeps reaching out to me. After 14 months, he mailed me a letter.
On the Other Side,
If you respond to him in any way, even with a short letter telling him not to contact you, he will see it as a victory. He doesn’t care what your response is – he cares that he has engaged you into playing his games. He has learned that it takes a letter and an email to get you to respond. Experience with spaths has shown that the best way to get them to stop contacting a target is to give them absolutely no response of any kind. It is especially important not to respond after a period of ignoring them. It’s effective to tell a spath not to contact you at the time of initiating no contact. However it will backfire if the target breaks a period of no response to respond to a spath.
They tend to come back and see if they can engage a former target even years or decades later.