Reply To: New to the Site; Obsessed with Him
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Thank you need2heal. I know you and Donna are both correct. It is just that this is so hard. I don’t have anyone to talk to. All of my friends are sick of hearing about him plus they don’t really understand anyway. I genuinely feel like I am losing my mind without him sometimes. I honestly don’t know what I could have done. I literally have been replaying just about every moment of our past three years together to figure out what it is I did wrong. I know the answer is nothing really but that is what bothers me the most. I just don’t understand how anyone can treat someone like this.
I am back at work this week so things have been a little bit better because I am not isolated but it is still very difficult. I cry just about every day and it is 3 months later! I think it is hitting me so hard now because I am just starting to accept that things are really over and that I most likely won’t hear from him again which is something I was denying for the first month or so. The totality of all these circumstances has really ruined my life almost. There was a point when I would have done just about anything to get him back. Being without him hurts even more than the cancer sometimes though. I almost feel as though, if he were with me, that going through these treatments would be SO much easier.
I needed an outlet and hope that this forum can be one for me. I also plan on getting some counseling once I have taken the bar. I take it next Tuesday and Wednesday.
Anyways, thank you so much for sharing. I did good today though…I was tempted to text him all day “Happy Valentine’s Day”…but I didn’t. I have started No Contact again, if I make it through the rest of today, I will have completed 2 whole days. This is just really hard. It takes everything in me to get out of bed in the morning. Thank you all again for your support.