Reply To: New to the Site; Obsessed with Him
Lovefraud: How to recognize and recover from sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists and other abusers › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › New to the Site; Obsessed with Him › Reply To: New to the Site; Obsessed with Him
bamboozled – I am so sorry for what you both are enduring. It is always very difficult to end an involvement with a sociopath. This is doubly true for you because you are also dealing with cancer at the same time.
Please understand that involvements with sociopaths are addictive. Literally – they cause addictive behavior. What you are experiencing are withdrawal symptoms – withdrawal from the sociopathic drug.
There are quite a few articles on Lovefraud explaining the addiction. Please put “addiction” in the search box at the top and you find some of them.
The key is to treat this like an addiction. 12-step programs emphasize “one day at a time.” When you’re just starting, you may want to cut that to “one hour at a time.” Promise yourself that you will not contact him for 1 hour. When that is done, go for another hour. Eventually promise yourself you will not contact him for 1 day. Then another day.
The longer you stay away from him, the more the grip of the addiction will fade. But if you relapse, you will have to start all over again.
The true test of someone’s love is how they treat you when you are sick. Obviously, this guy has failed completely. The best thing you can do for yourself is leave him behind.