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Reply To: Broke up with narcissist and started no contact, having a really tough time

#24987

AnnettePK
Participant

Jaybird,
You’re not crazy – your ex is disordered. It’s likely that the more you get away from him and out from his spell of influence, your understanding will get even clearer and clearer. It is likely that he is doing things to keep you under his control.

It took me forever to go completely no contact. When I finally did, I wished I’d done it sooner. You’ll know when the time is right for you to break off contact completely. You might consider beginning to take the steps needed for you to remove yourself from the business. Maybe give notice that you will be leaving so they can find someone else with the necessary license. Consider that any connection with a spath is potentially harmful to you. He does not care about your well being, so any situation that he can throw you and your license to the wolves to save himself, he will. Spaths are often vindictive and harm their victims to punish them for getting away. I eventually learned that nothing, including murder, is out of the realm of possibility of my ex psychopath. When someone does not have the restraint of conscience and of caring how others feel, there is nothing to stop them from any behavior if they think it will get them what they want and if they think they won’t get caught. I know that my ex may not have murdered anyone, but also that he may have if it ever suited his purpose at the time.

Going no contact is very very difficult at times, and most people have had several setbacks before being successful at it. If one can get over the hump – the point where one is faced with the grief and the loss, and get through it, then it gets easier and one recovers faster. For me, as long as there was any contact, I did not fully recover. Like a low grade infection that never gets totally eradicated, that has the potential to go full blown any time.