Reply To: Broke up with narcissist and started no contact, having a really tough time
Lovefraud: How to recognize and recover from sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists and other abusers › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › Broke up with narcissist and started no contact, having a really tough time › Reply To: Broke up with narcissist and started no contact, having a really tough time
Jaybird, Mine is an alcoholic and marijuana addict. You can not feel bad for his addiction. All the more reason for you to stay NC.
I re read your posts and I applaud you for doing all these positive things like counseling, reading materials, and considering meds. I went on anti anxiety meds awhile back and they really help you see clearly or me anyways. I encourage you to talk to a doctor and get an opinion if you need anything, even short term, just until you get stronger.
As for wondering if he treats his new “girlfriend” any better. No, No, and No. Maybe for a little while to get her on the hook but remember, we are all interchangeable. We all mean the same to these Narcs. They don’t treat anyone better or worse. We all like to think we were special because that’s part of their lure but we are not. We only serve a purpose. I was in contact with two of my N’s sources and we all had the same stories. In fact, he called us many of the same names, tried to make us think we were crazy, told us we were “special”, blah blah puke.
Let me say something that a good friend told me and I would read her text everyday-“We can never get time back”. I thought about that so much and now I treasure every day of Happiness I have. Drama free, Peaceful, and I make everyday count.
Keep a calendar and X off everyday of No Contact. I do that before I go to bed every night. Can you not let him in your house? Mine would knock but I just wouldn’t let him in.
Ask yourself this as well…Are you anymore lonely than when you were with him? I felt the most lonely in my life during the periods my Narc lived with me.
Stay NC, get some meds if need be, gets lots of sleep, eat right, and do nice things for yourself. Reconnect with your friends. Mine also isolated me from my friends. I had to reconnect each time. Do it though. Stay Busy!! I PROMISE you, things will get better as long as you keep on the plan. If you fall off, you go right back to the beginning.
Keep Reading! When I kicked mine out, I seriously read for days. It’s what finally made me understand that these people with Personality Disorders will NEVER change. They CAN NOT!! Once you really get that, it gets easier.