Reply To: Hi – I'm a sociopath.
Lovefraud: How to recognize and recover from sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists and other abusers › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › Hi – I'm a sociopath. › Reply To: Hi – I'm a sociopath.
Everywhere you look in society, you will find forced positivity.
My parents, especially my mother, tried their best to make me what every parent wants. Smart, caring, creative and happy.
I turned out smart and creative, but not necessarily caring or all that happy. To another oson, my mother would’ve been great. To me however, she annoyed me. She thought I was going through some sort of depresive state, and that I wasnt happy. She was half right, but she didn’t know it was her that was slowing grinding me down.
She would run into my room whilst I was studing, and hug me, then leave. In her mind, she’s a beacon of love and hope to me, that brightens my day whenever I get a hug – it lifts my spirits.
In my mind, I could see through it all. It was because she thought I was unhappy. I wasn’t all that much unhappy, but her constant reminders to “make today a good day”, or trying to make me feel special about every little thing I ever do really started to piss me off, and she thought I was just falling into some sort of depression.
I’m not sure why it annoyed me, but it did.
Society tried to socialise me into being kind and compassionate, in fact, everything is built on that. Have you ever asked yourself: When’s the last time a ‘no bullying/harassing policy’ in schools or workplaces actually stopped someone from bullying or harassing someone? Surely, a rule born out of mindless positivity would *have* to have had some sort of effect?
Everywhere you go, everything is set up to try to make people kind to one another. Always forgive, don’t swear, etc. I find it all meaningless.
If anything, anything I do that is antisocial, could probably be because I’m pissed off at society for being such a way that I can’t be normal, purely because of others’ ignorance, anxiety and stupidity.
There are a few problems with schools being able to help a kid with low sensitivities. One being that they’d have to detect it and do something about it before they leave. I only started to realise something was off in my head when I was 16 – 17 years old.
A second is that sociopathy is something people want (need) to hide, due to the reasons at the end of the last paragraph. Think of it like being gay a few decades ago. Decriminalised, but would ruin your reputation with anyone.
A third, is that people view sociopathy as a negative thing. Something they’d have to fix, rather than let grow.
I do however agree with the positives of being a sociopath. I could be a police officer or a surgeon and not be repelled by the sight of dead bodies. Or, I could be a soldier, and not get uneasy about killing people. I find that the media and their sensationalism gets in the way of a lot of stuff. It’ll confuse facts, and just make everything a lot harder.
Like needing to do group work with that one guy that’s slow and annoying and messes up anything he gets his big hands on. Damn, when I’m watching the news, I don’t really care about what the news anchor feels. “Oh. The school shooting is a tragic one? Phew, glad she said that.” If anything, I laugh at their weakness to emotion.
The best scenario for an ASPD kid is for their parents not to have anxiety. My mother did, and would get in the way of everything I ever did that she should could be dangerous. Some of my hobbies include chemistry and electricity, so I’d be making small explosive things in the backyard, but they’d never have the power to actually injure anyone. I also made a tesla coil with my dad in my teens. My mother thought, after being given a very brief description of electromagnetic fields from me, that it would make an EMP go through out entire house, and was moving computers to the other side of the house when she thought I wasn’t looking. I’d tell her all the time that what I’m doing is fine, and what she’s doing is illogical, and she would reply by saying she simply doesn’t like it, and that logic can’t explain emotion. With people like that nowadays, I usually just force what I’m doing, and show them the aftermath, which is always, NOTHING.
Another good scenario for ASPD kids is to not have overbearing parents. I’m actually quite introverted, and most of the time, would rather just be left alone with what I’m doing. On more than one occasion, I’ve become so fed up with my (you guessed it) mother, that I just packed up some of my stuff and stayed at a friend’s house for a day. She wanted to be involved in everything I ever did, and sometimes I couldn’t keep back my anger.
Another thing would be a good education. Or, that could turn out to be a bad thing. A multiplier then. A smart, good sociopath would be very good. A smart, evil sociopath could do amazing things. But I’m guessing you wouldn’t call them that. You’d probably call them “evil acts of terror”.
The bad things would include things like neglect, abuse, etc. You know, your usual villain backstory. If anything, the media got that part right…