lf1

Reply To: Hi – I'm a sociopath.

#24898

winterk
Participant

Me,
I liked your response to the 10 reasons sociopaths are losers. My ex-sociopath lover was very complex. I knew what I was dealing with early on with him but I still cared and loved him because I genuinely believe he doesn’t want to be like he is. He is a gifted writer as are you. I see his struggles in his writing. I was forced to go no contact with him as you have confirmed. He sent me an email since I put him on notice. It could all be manipulation on his part to draw me back in, but I chose to believe his pain and consider this closure. Here is what he wrote me:

Go Away

I’ve been told that I do not belong and to go away so often that I believe I should. I have been told that I am no good, a loser, liar, and neer do well so I now understand that it too true. It’s odd to be something so much different than I ever wanted or strive to be in my life as a man and person. Sobering really even more saddening, but accepted and probably preordained in my own character now. A self defense mechanism to put off the inevitable and prevent more damage by saying words or actions that hurt those I love and care most for. Furthering their true knowledge of what I feel for them or even knowing the depth of love I feel.
I want you to know one thing intrinsic and absolute. You are loved by me and I thank you for the person who is so special. I want you to live with the spirit of adventure and goodness innate in yourself. I will miss my dear friend but know that I am not good for you nor want to burden you further. It is the best and only gift I can give. I will never speak an ill word about you or try to embarrass or cause you any trouble ever. Nor will I contact you further as your wish and know that it is best.
So yes I am going away from you, but I never want the feeling inside of me in the time spent with you to ever leave. I refuse to let that go away. You’ve made an indelible mark on my soul that I am grateful and wanted you to know you are one of the most important people I’ve ever had come through my life. I just wish it would have been sooner and I would have been better equipped to show you how truly incredible you truly are.
Good bye my friend, live and love