Reply To: Need advice
I’m a fixer too, so I can relate. Only thing I can say is fix yourself first. Focus on you. That is not a selfish act. If you can’t take care of yourself, you’ll be in no shape to take care of others. That’s how I think about it anyway.
This may be harsh, but I think something to at least think about – there will always be SOMETHING she’ll find to drag you back in. Her situation with her parents is terrible and you can empathize with that. However, I don’t think there will ever be a “good” time to do it. So don’t be cruel, be true to yourself, but if you were going to start the divorce process, start it.
You’ve waited long enough. You’ve tried enough. You’ve given enough. Now, instead of focusing all that energy on her, focus it on you. Focus on your healing and on moving forward.
I’m not saying to make a rash decision, but it seems like you’ve thought a lot about this and you know what you want to do. So take a moment, reflect, think, listen to your instincts and then follow them.