Reply To: Hi – I'm a sociopath.



Alaska, power corrupts and absolute power …. etc. I often wonder what kind of a**hole I would be if I had a lot of power. I hope I wouldn’t, but one never knows.

Me, can you please clear up something for me. I read that sociopaths are bored, and this is why they manipulate people. I’ve never really understood this. Do you have a deep emptiness inside you that makes you want to manipulate people (ie this “boredom” I read about), or is is just simple pragmatism of why pay for a meal if you can get someone to pay for you? I know this is probably a really hard question to answer, but what does it FEEL like to be you on a day to day basis?

The reason I ask is I’m still trying to process my work colleague’s actions. When I first met her I really liked and respected her. After a few weeks she seem too expert at everything. A couple of times she said things about work that sounded impressive, but I knew weren’t correct, so this was a hint that she was “faking” it, but it didn’t worry me because I understand this. Of course people want to look smarter and more able than other people, so lying to make yourself look good is understandable.

What really was a flag for me was watching her interact with other people socially. There she would tell minor lies. They didn’t make her look smarter or whatever, she would just relate an anecdote to one person, then repeat with a strange variation to another person the next day. She didn’t seem to care that the same people were hearing two different versions of the same story.

It was these meaningless, pointless lies that alerted me. What is the point of making up lies that don’t seem to have an apparent benefit? Why didn’t my s’path work colleague do a mental cost-benefit analysis and come up with the conclusion that her needless lies might end up with someone thinking she was a pathological liar? If she hadn’t been making up stupid unnecessarily lies all the time, I probably wouldn’t have figured out she was a sociopath for a long, long time, and she could have really taken me for ride.

Are you able to fill in the gaps about the “why” for some of the apparently pointless manipulations sociopaths do? Is it really because they are bored?

FYI the end of my story is positive. I ignored all the blaming emails directed at me from my big boss who had been told a story by my s’path work colleague. I just didn’t reply to them. A couple of days ago I got more project work from my big boss, so even if he still believes what she said (I don’t know what she told him) I guess his need for someone reliable to do the work was stronger than his outrage over whatever s’path told him. Of course I’m left with a bag of resentment and hurt that I am still processing, but at least I have my job back. I had been really worried.