Reply To: Please help me – is he a sociopath?
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He probably is a sociopath, but whatever you call him, it sounds like he is making a lot of excuses, saying things to keep you hooked that don’t make sense given his behavior. He says he loves you, but that apparently doesn’t mean to him that he wants a committed monogamous relationship nor does he want to spend time with you consistently. He does not care about your feelings nor your well being in general.
He will continue to take advantage of you and he will continue to use whatever tactic will work to keep you available for him. You love him because you are a good person who is capable of love, and because he manipulated you into thinking that he cares about your well being. You love the person he said he was, you may not love the person he really is.
It is unlikely that he will ever change, and it is likely that he has told you lies that you may not have discovered yet. The best thing you can do for yourself is also the most difficult – have no contact with him. It is very very difficult, like breaking a strong addiction, but you will feel better sooner if you have no contact with him. It is also more painful and frustrating because sociopaths do not give closure. They will always try to keep their victims on a string. They never were really in a relationship and they never really end a relationship. They just go to and fro exploiting people and saying a lot of words that don’t have real meaning.
It sounds like you have got him figured out, and that you are thinking clearly. Reading about sociopaths will give you more useful information to decide if this guy is good for you and deserves you. You deserve a relationship with an honest man who loves you and appreciates you.