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Reply To: Broke up with narcissist and started no contact, having a really tough time

#24258

Stargazer
Participant

I’ve had a few relationships with alcoholics in my life and these are the hardest to walk away from (and all alcoholics are narcissistic). There is something about the intense emotional bonding I’ve felt with them and the guilt I feel about leaving. I tell myself that I am the stronger person and should have walked away a lot sooner, that I knew in my gut a long time before that this person was not appropriate for me. But having no family and difficulty throughout my life relating and bonding to others, I stayed in the unhealthy relationship long past the expiration date. Being on a spiritual path is a bitch sometimes. When being with someone pulls me off my spiritual path, my spirit tells me to leave. But the inner child is longing for family and just wants to cuddle up with that person with some comfort food and watch a movie – sometimes just figuratively, but sometimes literally. I can be in this fog of comfort and co-dependence for a long time, not wanting to leave the womb of togetherness. I sometimes wish I could go back to the days before I started on this path of awareness – to just go back to blissful ignorance. Only, it wasn’t so blissful. There was a lot of drama, a lot of acting out, and a lot of bad choices. Your spirit makes the right choices if only you have the courage to listen to it. It takes a lot of courage to be a human being and to do the “right” thing. It is not always what the heart wants.

  • This reply was modified 4 days, 1 hour ago by  Stargazer.