Reply To: Major relapse after one year of breaking free (could use some comments/feedback)



Dear annvr,

The behaviors you are describing of his are exactly what makes him a sociopath and what makes him so dangerous! They are so sweet and charming like the guy next door. It’s hard to understand that they are so conniving and game playing. I know firsthand. I have nearly a masters degree in Psychology, and I was led right down the garden path by a sociopath. I had never seen those kinds of games before. If they weren’t so charming, it would be easier to walk away when they were outed. Please consider that the other woman who took him back is confused and mixed up and she is at a disadvantage to you because she is still in his clutches. You cannot help her nor should it be your job. It is her own path in life to sort these things out. Her actions were not personal toward you. And even if they were, it would be out of her own dysfunction.

It is definitely a rude awakening to see that there are sociopaths walking among us, and sometimes it’s hard to tell who they are. When you are first traumatized and starting to recover, the world can seem like a scary place and you don’t know who you can trust. This is normal. As you get some distance from the situation, you will slowly recover your faith and trust in humanity, but you will be more cautious because you now know they are out there! Most people on the planet are not sociopaths, and sociopaths do come with warning signs, if you know what to look for.

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to cut off contact with him, his other women and any contacts or social media that would give you information about him. It will continue to traumatize you if you keep a string of attachment. You need to cut all ties. You will eventually recover. It will be painful, but you will get through it. As I mentioned in my post to Cindy, prayer, imagery, and even visualizing something better….all of these things can pull you out of the emotional bond you feel with him. Make sure, too, that any counselor you seek knows what a sociopath is. They are harder to recover from because of all the reasons you mention. You are normal. Normal people are not designed to understand how a sociopath operates. The best we can know is that they are dangerous, and we need to walk away.