Reply To: Broke up with narcissist and started no contact, having a really tough time
Lovefraud: How to recognize and recover from sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists and other abusers › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › Broke up with narcissist and started no contact, having a really tough time › Reply To: Broke up with narcissist and started no contact, having a really tough time
Cindyds, Good to hear from you! And really good to know you’ve been successful in maintaining no contact. It is not easy.
The way you feel and your thoughts doubting what he really is like, are all totally normal. He messed with your mind, and it usually takes awhile to get one’s normal perspective back. Spaths constantly blame their victims for the harmful behavior the spaths choose; which causes the victim to question whether she did things to ‘make’ the spath lie, cheat, steal, abandon the victim, etc.
Even though he deceived you and he is not what he represented himself to be, you have still experienced a real and profound loss that you are grieving for.
Because spaths don’t bond, the ‘relationship’ does not end like normal relationships and there is no closure which makes it more difficult to recover.
It sounds like you are doing a good job taking good care of yourself.