Reply To: Help me get through this pain!



oh did you strike a nerve in me with your kids telling you “get over it and move on.” My friends never liked him and saw what I could not see. Many told me during one of our “offs” of the constant off and on how he is arrogant and not good for me. I have had so many people say “get over it” along with their opinions about how he treated me poorly and I deserve so much better…. but the pain he caused, with the brainwashing that weakened me, my deep deep love for him, completely devoted to him, committed to our relationship, plans for a forever life with him, etc etc, all make it far more difficult to just “get over it.” Another wonderful validation I got from my reading. The end of toxic relationships is not like the end of a healthy relationship. He took my confidence, my self esteem, my friends, my trust, my hopes and dreams, my everything!! If I could just “get over it” I might be married to someone else now too!! But then I would also be a sociopath!! Sorry, raw nerve, end of rant. Not your fault at all!!

I guess to answer the question about the PR wife, you have been there in her shoes. Wouldn’t you want to know? I wish my friends who knew about my ex’s new GF would have told me and helped me through the pain of another knife in my heart. But they wanted to be “neutral” which to them meant telling me they love me, but claiming they were in a “delicate position” and cutting me off while they continued socializing with him and her. It is going to hurt her no matter when she learns of it but knowing that others knew before and did nothing is another blow for her to comprehend. Just be gentle with delivering the message. Just my 2 cents worth. Others will completely disagree with me and say they would never get involved but I’m too big on honesty, integrity, and ethics to turn the other cheek (not saying those people don’t have those honorable traits, I just think it means for me to not keep secrets that will eventually hurt someone, even if it hurts. It’s now or later!)