Reply To: Is there a name for this behaviour?
Lovefraud: How to recognize and recover from sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists and other abusers › Forums › Is my partner a sociopath, narcissist, psychopath or some other type of exploiter? › Is there a name for this behaviour? › Reply To: Is there a name for this behaviour?
Well, I could think of a dozen names for his behavior. Most of those that occur to me off the top of my head begin with the letter P!
PARASITICAL, that’s the first word that comes to mind. This guy is a financial bloodsucker! PREDATORY is another word for that. And let’s face it, his miserable lying excuses are PATHETIC… and so is he!
He’s also PROMISCUOUS, with all those females he’s been chasing. I’m relieved to hear that you’ve dumped him and won’t be sleeping with him any more. You don’t know where he’s been, so you don’t know what you might catch from him!
Funny, I just finished watching an old episode of Dalziel and Pascoe (yeah, they show it here in the U.S.–ten years behind the times, this was from 2006), and it reminded me that while men usually get over a dose of the clap (politely called “gonorrhea”), a simple disease like that can still leave women sterile. So it pays to be careful about what kind of alley cats we may be sleeping with, especially for women, who often have more to lose.
Then I got to the bit about your daughter, and I thought anyone would have to be pretty sick to play filthy tricks like that on a little four-year-old child. So PERVERTED was the next description of him that came to mind.
But overall, what with the shameless lying, the sneaky, controlling and manipulative behavior and everything else, the P-word that fits this guy best is PSYCHOPATHIC! You’re well rid of him!
But how about you? It’s likely that he did get one thing half right. I’m guessing that your “bad family history” probably did “make you as you are.” Except that he got it backwards. It’s not that your family history made you hard to get along with, if that’s what he was insinuating. On the contrary, I’m betting your family history made you TOO EASY to get along with, for exploiters like him especially. If you’d had a good family history, you’d probably have kicked this guy to the curb far earlier. It’s not as if he’s the only abuser you’ve found yourself with, since you mentioned a violent marriage.
If this keeps happening to you, it’s likely that your family failed to teach you what good families try to teach their children. Important lessons like “there are WOLVES in the forest” (and how to spot them). And “make sure you look after NUMBER ONE,” no matter how much “in love” you feel.
This of course was their fault, not yours, and fortunately these are lessons you can still learn. Good luck!
Oh, and P.S. No, he and his new lady love will NOT live “happily ever after.” If she owns two homes at present, she’ll be lucky if she’s left with one by the time he’s finished with her!