lf1

Reply To: Someone has to tell me what do you know about tranceing/ hypnotizing

#23130

AnnettePK
Participant

I know what you mean about feeling so distracted and strung out that you can’t concentrate on anything. I did my best to pray, and began with asking God to help me focus my mind so I could think straight enough to pray. You are doing the best you can, and that’s enough. One of spath’s torture sports is to set us up to keep trying to do something that’s impossible to do – like make a relationship work while they make it impossible and then blame the victim. It takes awhile, but you will get back to organized thinking. I tried to just focus on one thing – like doing the dishes or some other task, and then the next thing. I was very scattered brained and had difficulty getting much done. I tried not to worry about it, it’s part of the recovery process.
It sounds like you are at the stage that is just the worst; you will feel better. It was a slow process for me, especially at first with so much pain and anger. It’s definitely a roller coaster of emotions – feels bipolar at times. That’s a normal part of the process too. I felt a little better after a few weeks, and a few months later much better. Now I’m happy. The key for me is no contact at all, not to hear about him from others nor to see anything even pertaining to him. I got rid of everything in my home that had anything to do with him – gave him his stuff back when I ran across it, gave away the clothes and jewelry he bought for me. I made a picture of a tombstone with his name on it and put it on the fridge. http://www.tombstonebuilder.com I quit referring to him by his first name when talking to my close friends and my son about him – I just used his unusual and ugly sounding last name.
There’s nothing wrong with you that you have a hard time letting go. You are normal, you bond with the person in a relationship. You loved the person he said he was. The way you feel is right and good, and it works very well in a committed relationship with a normal good man.
Psalm 55 is a good description of a spath turning on a victim who thought the spath was his friend.