lf1

Reply To: I am trying to go NC he has a wicked hold on me help!

#22945

Ladybugg
Participant

As you can tell from my original post what you are feeling is not crazy they addict us on purpose the best thing I read is in a book called Psycopath free. When a relationship is over we fall out of love and it hurts. To compound that when we fall out of love with a psychopath we have to fall out of a desperate love that they created by making us totaly dependent on them in the love bombing stage when they WANT to occupy our everythought and by the awful seeds they plant in us during the devaluation stage when they convince us of everything that is wrong with us. I am with you still fighting through the wondering what the hell is wrong with me for “missing” this awful person who did nothing but delight in hurting me. We don’t miss him it’s all about the illusion he created. Take him and your memories of him out of it. Put another person in his place anyone else now ask yourself would you miss anyone else that disrespected you, hurt you, made you feel so helpless, so out of control, literally changed you that deep on the inside!! NO you wouldn’t because they did not CHARM you into theses feelings your feeling now he did through that and planting things in your head by picking altercations and saying certain things over and over he screwed with you to the point he really convinced you you need,miss,love him. The truth is you only need,miss, love who he pretended to be when he wanted to either had something to gain from it, or wanted to real you back into his control so the abuse cycle could start all over again!!
Good luck stay strong! Know your not alone. I was told to get a CD by Jan7 in a post titled someone has to tell me what they know about trancing and hypnotizing. If you can’t find the link I will get it for you. Helps with the addiction. This forum helps to the CD is by Sandra L Brown it is Relaxation technique for recovering from pathalogical relationship after math!