lf1

Reply To: Some of what court was like for me

#22899

freeandhope
Participant

My ex is on bail and I’m dreading the fact that I may have to face him in court. He tried to choke me and kicked me in the chest. This was five weeks ago, I’m still a mess and cry every day, the pain is unbearable. I’ve never felt emotional pain like it. I believe he will not be charged and he will walk off and probably laugh and I’m not sure I can deal with that….if that’s what the outcome turns out to be.
How do I face him and look at him in court?
The sickest thing is I still miss him so much, I’ve had NC for 5 weeks now. I trust nobody and get upset at the slightest thing. My family has been great but they cannot lift this darkness I seem to be carrying around with me.
Will it ever end and will me trying to charge him just cause me more heartache and stress?
I just want this hurt to go away and for him not to constantly be dominating my thoughts. I can’t bear it and have thought horrible thoughts about not being here anymore.
I’m having to build my whole life up from scratch and it’s so so hard and takes it takes up all my energy just to get through a day.