Reply To: How I learned what a sociopath was
Lovefraud: How to recognize and recover from sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists and other abusers › Forums › Is my partner a sociopath, narcissist, psychopath or some other type of exploiter? › How I learned what a sociopath was › Reply To: How I learned what a sociopath was
In the aftermath of this bizarre relationship replete with lies, games, and gaslighting, I was devastated far beyond what should have been normal for a 3-month affair. It took many years to understand the vulnerabilities I had that made me fall for this and to begin to heal them, which is an ongoing process. But for a time, I was suicidal.
I kept my word to him, and I called the platoon sergeant. Fortunately, she knew what a sociopath was because she herself had dated one. She was very supportive of me and even invited me to a special army awards dinner in my town. I went. He wasn’t there thankfully. I also spoke with his commanding officer. The officer asked me how this guy was able to walk or drive. He had been telling them for 2 years that he was so injured he had no feeling from the waist down!!! I didn’t know whether to laugh or beat the crap out of him with a baseball bat. I told the commanding officer that we had had sex a total of three times and he performed just fine. He drove us around for several hours in a big SUV (which he denied he had), and that he had helped my friend remodel a house. The spath denied it all. But he was a stupid person. He’d forgotten that I had pictures and witnesses. I sent the army the photos of spath standing up and holding the giant burmese python around his shoulders. I also had a pic of him with his daughter up on his shoulders. Not only that, but several of my friends were willing to testify that there was nothing wrong with his physical health. This spath had gone to incredible lengths for TWO YEARS to fake a limp, a facial tic, and headaches. There was nothing wrong with him. He just wanted a lifetime pension for himself, his wife (who by the way he was never planning to divorce) and their daughter. Wow! It was very gratifying when the army personnel came to my door in full uniform and took my statement. They also did it with three of my friends who had met him. My one friend had a copy of the check he had written to pay spath for remodel work. It was perfect and it nailed him. At one point, the platoon sergeant called me to ask me if I was sure about giving a statement, because now the spath was threatening suicide. In a second show of strength, I said yes.
Though he didn’t come back to forum and I never heard from him again, I wanted to find out if he was ever found guilty of fraud. But the army wouldn’t tell me anything. So on the advice of a fraud attorney here at LF, I wrote a letter to my senator. The senator’s office looked into it and wrote me back saying that the spath had been found guilty of fraud and adultery and “appropriately punished”. I never found out how he was punished. I don’t really care.
It took me a year to get over him. He did try to come back to the forum at one point, but my forum friends drove him off. They all knew the story and stood behind me.
I will deal with my aftermath and what it took for me to recover in a separate post.