UPDATED FOR 2023. I was standing in line, horrified at how a man in front of me was treating his two little girls. The girls looked to be about two and four years old. One of them was in a stroller. He yelled at the older girl — I don't know why. When she started crying, he yelled at her again, threatening to hit her if she didn't stop crying. No matter what the kids did — dropped a blanket on the floor, touched the stanchion rope — the guy yelled. If this father was treating his kids this way in public — what in the world was he doing at home? Make no mistake — the guy was engaging in child abuse, and the kids will likely suffer from it for the rest of their lives. I'm not exa …
Why psychopaths can’t love
The fundamental problem with psychopaths is that they do not have the ability to authentically love. I say this all the time in my articles and videos. A reasonable question to ask is why? Why can’t psychopaths love? For the answer, we need to look deep into human biology, psychology and even evolution. Luckily, the Lovefraud author Dr. Liane Leedom has done this. She is a psychiatrist and professor of psychology and counseling at the University of Bridgeport. I am interviewing her on Lovefraud Live on Jan. 7, 2026, at 8 pm ET, when she will explain in detail why psychopaths can’t love. Here are the basics, based on one of Dr. Leedom’s published works called, Psychopathy: A Behavioral S …
8 attempts to control a sociopath: They all fail
You’ve probably been shocked, even blindsided, by the behavior of the sociopath. Why? Because his or her behavior violates your longstanding, lifelong models of what it means to be human and how people should act. Following are eight ways people often attempt to control a sociopath. They all fail. Remember, a sociopath, according to the Lovefraud author Dr. Liane Leedom, is someone who preys on and/or damages nearly everyone they spend time with. Clinically, they could be diagnosed with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorder. You may look up the definitions of these disorders and decide that they seem to fit the person who is c …
Sociopaths’ predatory behavior is intentional
If you have a sociopath in your life for any significant period of time, whether as a romantic partner, family member, friend or business associate, here’s what you need to understand: You will be damaged. These people are manipulators and exploiters, and their predatory behavior is intentional. Oh, they may say it’s not their fault. They may try to make you feel sorry for all the bad things that have happened to them in the past (which may or may not be true). Or they’ll blame others for anything that goes wrong. But make no mistake — these are simply tactics to achieve their objective, which is to use anyone and everyone who can provide something that they want. “A sociopath is …
Codependence and tolerating bad behavior
Editor’s note: The Lovefraud author Eleanor Cowan wrote “A History of a Pedophile’s Wife.” She is now working on tales intended to shock codependent people into recognizing their behavior and connecting with support and guidance to overcome it. The collection is called, “Impactful Stories for Stubborn Codependents.” Here’s the first story. See Eleanor’s comments at the end. Graduation Day By Eleanor Cowan Kim reminded herself to sell or donate or otherwise dispose of her mother’s wheelchair, still lodged behind the porch door, but first she’d have to repair the rickety back steps of the doorway. She felt it. That heaviness, that cloudy confusion, a murkiness she quickl …
Pig butchering: The new criminal romance scam
“Pig butchering” has nothing to do with farm animals. Pig butchering is a sophisticated romance scam in which con artists meet people online, seduce them with promises of love and companionship, and then convince them to sink their hard-earned money into fake cryptocurrency investments, which soon disappear. What’s truly frightening is that these aren’t random sociopaths conning whomever they come across. It’s a massive criminal enterprise in which thousands of workers actively fleece targets all day, every day. Pig butchering scams net $64 billion a year worldwide, according to the U.S. Institute for Peace. Americans lost about $5 billion in 2024, which was a 42% increase over the …
I met a romantic scammer on Instagram
Lovefraud received the following letter from a woman who met a romantic scammer on Instagram. He said he loved her, but what he really wanted was money. Love Bombing, exploitation and manipulation. I also felt devalued and discarded. I also was hoovered. I left the relationship because he was scamming me and also blackmailing me. It was so frightening, I had to think fast. I had to close all my credit cards and I had to close all my credit reports. He was trying to blackmail me out of $100,000. And I have the proof of what he was trying to do to me. It had gotten to the point where he was trying to threaten my daughters. This is the first encounter with this Romantic …
The only treatment specifically for real recovery from narcissistic abuse
About this skills training You may have heard the old proverb, “Time heals all ills.” Well, it’s not true. When you’ve endured the manipulation, betrayal and abuse of a sociopath, the wounds are deep. If you just kind of move on, they may scab over in time, but they don’t really heal unless you consciously focus on your recovery. Therapists can be helpful if they understand your experience. But even so, therapists can’t recover for you. You’re the one who needs to recover. It will go a lot faster, and you’ll feel a lot better, if you make a decision to focus on it. So what can you do? Last fall, my colleague, Dr. Liane Leedom, who is herself a survivor, presented a Lovefraud webinar …
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Online summit: How to recover from a narcissistic mother
Most people whom I coach reach out to me because they’re dealing with a disordered partner. But what originally made them vulnerable to the exploiter? Often, they realize they’ve become romantically involved with someone who is just like their mother. Growing up with a narcissistic mother profoundly affects you. To comply with her demands and criticism, you may become a perfectionist. Or a people pleaser. And research shows that abuse as a child makes you vulnerable to hooking up with a sociopath as an adult. I am pleased to be part of a FREE upcoming online event called Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. For three days, Sept. 23-25, Laura K. Connell is bringing you int …
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Psychopath brains are smaller, research shows
Psychopaths have more than an attitude problem. They are cold, uncaring, manipulative and aggressive due in part to their biology. The overall volume of gray matter in psychopath brains is less than normal. And new research shows that specific areas of their brains associated with skills such as behavior control are smaller. What does this mean? Psychopathic traits and behaviors are baked into their heads. Changing their behavior means changing their brains, which may not be impossible, but it is certainly incredibly difficult. Magnificent brain The human brain is magnificent. It’s what sets us apart from other living creatures. The outermost layer is called the cerebral c …
9 reasons why you can’t spot the sociopath’s lies
All sociopaths lie. Lying is their most basic and common manipulative behavior, and they are very good at it. But research shows that people can usually identify a lie only 53 percent of the time. Here are nine reasons why you can’t spot the sociopaths’ lies. Most of the reasons relate to them, but a few relate to you. 1. Everything is a lie Once you realize that you’re dealing with a sociopath, you must understand that absolutely anything he or she has ever said to you could be a lie. Sociopaths lie like they breathe. If you don’t have independent verification of what he or she has said to you, it may be false. This may be really difficult for you to grasp. When normal people lie, i …