Spiritual recovery

Living in Secret with the Sociopath

Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are Things Really What We Think They Are?

Things aren’t always what they seem, that’s for sure. And sometimes things aren’t always what they seem when they are right in your face. People can’t really be persuaded, even if something is right in their face.

For whatever their reasons are, people have to come to their own conclusions about things. And most of the time it’s difficult for family and friends to watch someone they love continue in a path that is harmful to them.

Living In Secret

Those of us who fall into the victim category, well, we live in secret. We live in secret about what is really going on for a lot of reasons. We are in denial of our own circumstances even though we know what we know.

Cancer at Christmas — Living in a Sociopath’s World

When Things Were

I used to be so good at taking care of things like decorating my house for Christmas with shades of red, green and gold, carefully outlining dark corners with beautiful, gleaming lights to create that wonderful, cozy ambiance of a home filled with love and joy—the way it should feel at Christmas time.

There were carefully thought out, warm meals prepared, music filling the crisp air, homemade Christmas sweets to grab on the way out the door, and soft, warm blankets on every couch for that last minute snuggle.  I would intentionally direct my energies towards evoking wonder with my family and daughter every day of December.

Denial of Darkness

I lived in my own reality of denial as the darkness passed me in the halls of that beautiful home.  I filled myself with good things and the light in my life would overshadow the darkness.  Yet as strong as the light was in my life, little by little the darkness chipped away at my spirit.

Suffering PTSD from a Sociopath and asking God for help

Editor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.

The Downward Spiral to the Bottom

A year and a half after the downward spiral of a 10 year relationship came to the ground, I started noticing new behaviors of mine surface.  New thoughts, new spikes in anger, outward and physical expressions of fear, anxiety, being paranoid, scared.

I’m not sure why in my case it took longer to surface.  It could be because I was dealing internally with so many other facets of breaking free like the divorce, custody battles, financial wars and deep betrayal and confusion over the last year.


I started to have these “episodes” that were seizure-like, which one time last year sent me to the hospital where they diagnosed my with acute aphasia.  They shot me up with some Lorazepam and I was good to go.

How to tell wicked sociopaths from ordinary sinners

Outraged blonde woman  with arms crossed on white backgroundEditor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.

Quite a few people have been sending Lovefraud information lately on the religious and spiritual aspects of an experience with a sociopath. Here’s another link suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

5 Indicators of an evil and wicked heart, on Crosswalk.com.

The article is directed towards Christian counselors, to help them discern between people who have a truly evil heart, rather than an ordinary sinful heart. Read the article, and you’ll see that those with evil hearts are clearly sociopaths.

The author also identifies one of the key reasons why we don’t “see” evil: “We find it so difficult to believe that evil individuals actually exist.”





The Universe Wants You To Be With Your Psychopath – Is It True?

Editor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.

By Jade Joddle

For those of us who are spiritually awakening or who have a well-developed third eye chakra, the experience of falling in love is a catalyst for peak spiritual experiences. This means that when falling in love, incredible, magical experiences may occur between oneself and one’s lover. Since such experiences are so out of this world, a person experiencing the strange phenomena may then search for meaning in them and conclude that the universe has united them with their partner because their relationship is ‘cosmically meant to be’.

Posted in: Spiritual recovery

Advice for Christians involved with sociopaths

If you’re a Christian woman, is it your duty to work harder and harder to please an abusive husband?

If you’re a Christian, should you hold out hope that God will change a sociopath?

If you’re a Christian, is it your duty to lead a sociopath to Christ?

No, no and no, says Shannon Thomas, LCSW-S, a Christian counselor from Southlake, Texas. She explains why in her blog article:

When a Christian meets a sociopath, on SouthlakeCounseling.org.

If you’ve struggled with these ideas, please read this article. It may give you a new perspective.

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.


Posted in: Spiritual recovery

Mother tells her story: Her husband killed her kids

Jordan and Jada Mendoza-Birth

Jordan and Jada Mendoza-Birth. (Photo by Zoey Mendoza)

On October 18, 2010, Zoey Mendoza-Birth saw her children alive for the last time. She and her husband, Kurtis Birth, were in the process of an “amicable separation.”

That day, Birth picked the kids up early from daycare. He then shot the kids in the back of the head, and then shot himself.

Zoey told her story for the first time on Yahoo Parenting. I don’t know if Kurtis Birth was a sociopath — not everyone who kills their children is. But I think Zoey’s description of coming to terms with her grief is helpful for Lovefraud readers.

My husband killed our kids, on Yahoo.com.

Link sent by a Lovefraud reader.


Free webinar on mindfulness and relationships with Tara Brach

Tara Brach, Ph.D.

Tara Brach, Ph.D.

I recently watched a free webinar with Tara Brach, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of Radical Acceptance. She is a teacher of Buddhist meditation, emotional healing and spiritual awakening.

In the webinar, Tara talks about recovery from emotional pain and a feeling of being not good enough. Although she doesn’t specifically address the issues of being involved with a sociopath, I think her message may be helpful to Lovefraud readers. After all, the reason we are vulnerable to sociopaths is often that we have deep emotional pain and feel like we’re not really good enough.

The seminar is being re-broadcast for free today at 12 noon and 5 p.m. Eastern time

The seminar is sponsored by the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine. They are offering a six-week program with Tara Brach on mindfulness and relationships. It’s not free, but today’s programs are. You might find it helpful.

Co-parenting and Interactions with the Sociopath After the Divorce

by Quinn Piercequinn pierce photo

I sat on the edge of the stage watching the teams race up and down the court. It was the first game of my son’s basketball tournament. I knew my ex-husband was there, because I saw his car when I pulled into the parking lot.  I wasn’t surprised that he was there, even though he said he wasn’t going.  He often changed his plans last minute, or lied entirely just to avoid giving a difinitive answer and to keep others off balance.

When I saw him standing by the players, I felt a mix of annoyance and disgust that he continues to play the ‘Father of the Year’ role, despite the cruel and un-fatherly behavior he practices behind closed doors.  At least I knew he would not try to interact with me, so I sat comfortably a good distance away and watched my son.

Winter of Wellness – January 20 to March 20

I just received word of a “Winter of Wellness” event — free presentations by 40 holistic health and wellness pioneers. The presentations will take place online and on the phone from January 20 through March 20, 2015.

I’ve been impressed by the work of several of the listed experts, including:

David Feinstein — Author of the book The Promise of Energy Psychology, which teaches EFT tapping (Emotional Freed Technique), which I believe can help anyone overcome the emotional devastation of an involvement with a sociopath.

John Gray, Ph.D. — A relationship expert and author of, Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus.

Dawson Church — Author of The Genie in Your Genes, explaining the link between emotions and genetics.

Gregg Braden — Author of The Isaiah Effect and other books about the technology of prayer.

Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D. — Author of The Biology of Belief, who explains why genes are not destiny.