Recovery from a sociopath

Workshop: Leaving and recovering from cultic groups and relationships

Cult turn right

(Photo by Kevin Dooley)

Both sociopaths and cult leaders engage in mind control. In fact, in many of the worst cases we hear about at Lovefraud, the relationships in which the targets have truly lost themselves, are actually cults. But these cults have only two members — the leader and the target.

If you’ve been involved in a mind control relationship, you have a brainwashed family member who cannot escape another’s grip (in fact, doesn’t even want to escape), you may be interested in an upcoming workshop.

Leaving and recovering from cultic groups and relationships: A workshop for families and former members

Presented by the International Cultic Studies Association
October 15 and 16, 2016
Hollywood, California

The workshop will cover:

  • Overview of joining, leaving, and recovery
  • Why people leave groups and why they stay
  • Recovery needs of former members
  • Trance and triggers

Leaving abusive relationships is especially hard for people in minority communities

Amber AultBy Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW

Partners in abusive relationships — with psychopaths, narcissists, and other disordered individuals — often suffer in silence. This is especially true in marginalized communities.

Partners’ silence reinforces their isolation and reduces their capacity to end abuse and exploitation in these relationships.

What stops a partner from seeking help? Among the barriers to reaching out for a reality check — and support for leaving — are these common factors:

Shame. Partners worry that their association with a toxic person reflects poorly on them, and that others will judge them if they know about the abuse they are tolerating. If they’ve left and returned, the shame feels greater. Partners also often want to protect the “good reputation” of their toxic mate or the status the couple enjoys within a family or community. If friends or family opposed coupling with the toxic person, the partner faces the shame of acknowledging the decision to ignore good advice, and feels unworthy of support now.

12 songs to help you heal from a sociopath

By “JustAboutHealed”

The songs that resonate with you can help pinpoint where you are in the healing journey. Written from the heterosexual female viewpoint, ‘cause that is the path I know.  Try using music to chart your past and where you want to get to!

1.Yeah, maybe a bad boy, but still…

You think it is mostly an act. If you aim for his heart, you’re sure he’ll behave, he’s got the key.

Moves Like Jagger  by Maroon 5, featuring Christina Aguilera

2. You’re In Deep, and Quickly

“Crazy for you” is truer than you realize…

Crazy for You By Madonna

 3. Maybe Something is Wrong…

Maybe I’m just imagining things…

Just give me a reason By Pink

What to do when your exploiter has cops for friends

by Lesson Learned

CopDuring your interaction with law enforcement it is normal to feel, anxious and somewhat intimidated. Even when you’re in the right, something about that badge, gun and the general demeanor of cops can make you feel stressed. What you should not feel is fear…at least from the officers. If you feel fear – if they are standing too close, or are intentionally appearing intimidating, ask them calmly if they would take a step back as you’re feeling a little overwhelmed. This is where a witness is crucial. If the officer will not step back you have a witness to attest to that and he knows it. Throughout this I will refer to law enforcement as ‘he’ for expedience and because during my ordeal I didn’t have any interactions with female officers. I am also referring to sociopaths and other opportunists as ‘he’ again for expediency and because that is my main experience.

Help for building your support team so you can end a toxic relationship


Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW

Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW

By Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW

Starting September 24, 2016, I will be hosting a five-week Roller Coaster Relationship Recovery Seminar & Support Group by teleconference for people in the US and EU. I especially invite readers of Lovefraud.com to join me in this powerful, supportive environment dedicated to cultivating the skills and strategies you need to create your best, happiest, sanest life possible after a difficult relationship with a toxic partner.

In my recent book, The Five Step Exit: Skills You Need to Leave a Narcissist, Psychopath, or Other Toxic Partner and Recover Your Happiness Now, I recommend that anyone who is involved with a toxic partner, preparing to leave a roller coaster relationship, or recovering from a crazy-making situation assemble a support team. Toxic relationships are complicated, confusing, and difficult. Often, an exploitive person’s manipulations result in a partner being isolated from friends and family who serve as important reality anchors and havens of support. When you become more aware of how toxic your relationship is, you become stronger by ending your isolation and increasing your resources.

Domestic violence and brain trauma

brainMany women who endured domestic violence suffer from headaches, memory loss, and confused thinking. The cause may be traumatic brain injuries due to blows to the head. Women may be exposed to the same type of head injuries as football players.

Fists not football: Brain injuries seen in domestic assaults, on Foxnews.com.

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, offers FREE online chat support group Sunday Aug. 28

Mary Ann GlynnExperience the support of people who know! Join our free online live chat support group next Sunday night, August 28, 8 pm EDT at www.destructiverelationshipshelp.com.  Share your struggles and get feedback, support, and hope from others who get it.  The group is professionally run.  Here’s how to join:

At 8 pm come to the site and scroll down the home page to the Services section. Click on the highlighted “live chat support group,” and you will be brought to the chat room as a Guest#.

Hope to see you there!

7 reasons not to seek closure from a sociopath


Relationships with sociopaths are intense. In fact, they are intentionally intense — the sociopath demands your attention, showers you with affection, and proclaims everlasting love — quickly.

What’s the rush? They want to hook you before you escape. All their moves are intentional.

You, of course, don’t know this. You believe that the sociopaths are in hot pursuit because they are smitten and can’t live without you. The two of you are, as they swear, soul mates.

Then, either suddenly or slowly, the relationship is over.

Huh? What happened? How could this person who painted a glistening picture of your future together just turn and walk away without looking back?

You want to understand what when wrong. You want closure.

If the key symptoms of a sociopath accurately describe your partner, don’t bother going after closure. Here’s why:

10 reasons to roll your eyes at sociopaths


Photo by Michael Le Roi

Photo by Michael Le Roi

Everything sociopaths say is for effect. They are not capable of honest communication — every statement has an agenda.

If you have a sociopath in your life, your objective is to get to the point that you simply do not take them seriously. When they are making promises, don’t hope that this time they’ll really come through. Your reaction should be, “Yeah, right.”

When you hear any of these statements, the best thing you can do is roll your eyes:

  1. I love you

Impossible — sociopaths are not capable of love

  1. I’ll never do it again

Yes, they will — although it may take a while. Sociopaths can control their behavior, so if they need to walk the straight and narrow temporarily to convince you to stay, they will. But eventually they will do whatever they did again.

The Recovery Poem – ‘I could not care less’

Woman with arms raised at sunset on the beachEditor’s note: This poem of recovery was written by Lovefraud reader, Arpinsandie. (To clarify the first line, a “6th form pupil” is a British term roughly equivalent to a high school student.)

By Arpinsandie

You cheated on your first wife with a 6th form pupil and groomed pupils

You lost your family because of your behaviour

You blamed your wife

Your second wife found real love through your abhorrent lies anger rage and dominance

You blamed her

The 3rd – long term partner – Me

You tried to control destroy by lying cheating verbally assaulting bullying a classic case of narcissistic behaviour

I dumped you

You will blame me

But then be proud you are an A1 sociopathic robot

Who has lost wonderful people

Carry on your family will see you for what you are when your money is gone