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Hooked by a sociopath

Sociopaths Slowly Dismantle Our Internal Compass

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 41C:

It was the first time in years I had known what I wanted, had gone about the decision the way I wanted, and had not let Paul convince me of what I should want. Knowing that I had not caved in to what Paul told me I should do was satisfying.

Sociopaths Play “Whack-A-Mole”– With You!

Husband Liar SociopathEvery week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 41B:

The mountain I had chosen to climb—that of my own emotional recovery in the context of an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship that I recognized as complicated and imperfect but not as “abusive”—was steep and high. Not only did I not have a cheerleader, I had the opposite—“crazy making,” deceitful unraveling of any attempt to regain emotional strength. Still, day-by-day and week-by-week, I elevated myself in my mind as someone who deserved happiness and had independent needs that deserved to be met. After a year of weekly sessions with Dr. Davis, I felt ready to lay the foundation for a different future. I needed a life that was not defined totally by being Paul’s wife and Jessica and Daniel’s mother.

An Unwitting Relationship With A Sociopath Changes Us

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 41A:

Over the next year, with Dr. Davis’s help, I changed, but Paul did not. As my emotional strength and awareness grew, albeit slowly, I started to understand one of Paul’s key manipulation tactics, and I refused to be sucked in.

14 tactics used by coercive controllers in abusive relationships

Angry psychopath“Coercive control feels like being trapped in a cage and you can’t get out and you don’t know where to turn.” That’s how Dr. Lisa Aronson Fontes described this insidious form of domestic violence. She was one of several experts who spoke at a conference on coercive control in Suffolk, England on March 6, 2017.

Another expert, Dr. Evan Stark, said that around 25 percent of women in abusive relationships are never assaulted.

The program described 14 ways that abusers control their victims, from limiting contact with family and friends to constant phone calls, texts and emails.

‘It’s like being in a cult for one’: Read 14 tactics used by coercive controllers, on EADT.co.uk.

9 control tactics in a classic story of sociopathic manipulation

Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The following letter, written by a young woman whom we’ll call Chloe, is one of the most complete stories of psychological manipulation that I’ve ever seen yet. Chloe wrote this letter secretly while the sociopath she is living with was at the gym.

I met my boyfriend two years ago. I was 18; he was 33. He’s a photographer; we live on an island that is very small. He has lived here forever (10 years) and I had only been here a few months when I met him. Everybody, especially women on the island, adore him, he is THE BIGGEST charmer.

Many Therapists Are Ignorant About Sociopaths

 

Husband Liar SociopathEvery week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 40B:

In the past, I would have taken it upon myself to eliminate the tension and apologized to Paul for doing something that upset him. Not this time. Would Paul accept any responsibility for his role in the absurd encounter? I had to find out.

“Paul, I was hurt when you yelled at me about the dog,” I said when I returned.

“You were the one yelling!”

“I would really appreciate an apology,” I said, standing my ground.

Being With A Sociopath Is Like Being In A Cult

 

Husband Liar SociopathEvery week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 39: Past The Point Of Rescue (Hal Ketchum)

Secretly, I hoped that Paul would just pick up and leave or be killed in a plane crash or in a car accident on one of those dark nights he came home late from a business trip or “working at the office.”

Sociopaths Lack Empathy—Even For Their Own Children

Husband Liar SociopathEvery week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 38B:

By now, I hope you are catching on to sociopath math and can predict Paul’s reaction to arriving late with Daniel’s birthday pizza.

“But I just got here, and I cut my day short to get the pizza,” Paul said.

“Paul,” I replied, “we have to leave or the kids will be late to practice. We’ll heat it up when we get back.”

“I never said I’d be able to get here earlier,” Paul said. (He did, but he just made things up. Or maybe he never uttered those exact words. Regardless—he lied.)

Sociopaths Lie Even When The Truth Would Work Just Fine

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 38A:

I always considered Paul honorable and honest, so it took me an embarrassingly long time for inconsistencies in his version of events to register as what they were—lies. I knew my husband had faults and, in all likelihood, had had an affair with Anne-Marie, but it never occurred to me that he was fundamentally dishonest and a chronic liar. But I could not escape the observation that Paul lied seamlessly about even the smallest things.

My Unwitting Relationship With A Sociopath Corroded Who “I” Was

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 37B: “It’s Like Déjà Vu All Over Again.” (Yogi Berra)

Soon after, I required minor surgery. As I had with Jessica’s testing, I involved Paul when setting a date for the procedure to ensure he would be available to help the kids and me. I was forced to reschedule my procedure two times, because Paul’s work demands kept trumping my health needs. Two days before the surgery, he called me from Chicago.

“Something’s come up,” he said. “A huge account’s at stake, and I can’t get back. You can handle this, right? This client’s worth lots of money. I need to stay.”