Sociopaths and family

Helping children overcome genetic risk for externalizing disorders


Liane_SSSP_crop copyBy Liane J. Leedom, M.D.

Imagine loving someone, having children with that person, and then realizing that you’ve gotten yourself involved in an abusive relationship.

Imagine suspecting that your partner, the mother or father of your children, has a personality disorder — and then hearing that personality disorders are highly genetic.

If you’re a therapist, imagine this person is your client. What do you do?

I believe we can and should intervene in the lives of children who are at risk of developing externalizing disorders, such as ADHD, conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, and substance use disorders. If we do, we may be able to prevent these children from developing personality disorders as adults.

When we study large numbers of people affected by externalizing disorders, and personality disorders in particular, we see that about 50 percent of the risk for these disorders is genetic. That means the environment children grow up in, including their interactions with parents, siblings and peers, also strongly influences the development of disorder.

Specific parenting strategies may help children at risk for developing personality disorders

Many Lovefraud readers have loved  someone, had children with that person, and then realized that you’ve gotten yourself involved in an abusive relationship.

You suspect that your partner, the mother or father of your children, has a personality disorder — and then you hear that personality disorders are highly genetic.

What do you do? And if you’re a therapist, how do you help a client in this situation?

Starting September 14, Dr. Liane Leedom will present a four-part webinar series called Overcoming Children’s Genetic Risk for Externalizing Disorders. It is designed for mental health professionals and offers continuing education credits, but parents can benefit from the information as well.

He’s Not Depressed, Anxious, or Sleep Deprived—He’s a Sociopath!

Husband Liar Sociopath

By O.N. Ward

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 17 : The Twilight Zone

With my biological clock ticking loudly, once we had been at our new jobs for eighteen months, Paul and I decided it was time to have children. After just two months of trying, the pregnancy test registered positive. I danced around our house. At last, I was going to be a mother!

My ex has custody of our daughter, even though he pleaded guilty to domestic violence

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Cassidy.”

I was married for 2 years. The problems emerged after my daughter was born.

Jumping to the end of the story, we separated and divorced. We had final court orders for parenting and property in 2010. Since then I have been back to court at least 20 times, we have 3 final orders.

My ex now has custody of my daughter, even though he was accused of domestic violence and pleaded guilty to the charges. In Australia the presumption for shared care is set aside if you can prove this.

I was given custody of my little girl the first and second court cases. He was given sole parenting on the third.

Needless to say, I rarely get permission to see or speak with this little girl. She must now live with and understand how to survive day to day living in this situation and without her mummy and sissy.

When the parents of your sociopathic ex want to see their grandchildren


Young girl in Gap_300x200Lovefraud recently received an email from a reader who has a daughter with a sociopath and wants to know what she should do about the sociopath’s parents, her daughter’s paternal grandparents. She wrote:

My issue with my daughter’s paternal grandparents is that I don’t trust them with my daughter. It’s not because they are bad people, but because my sociopathic ex has victimized his parents over and over and over again and has no respect for what they say. His mother is his biggest enabler and both of his parents want him to be involved with our daughter (he has abandoned her) in the worst way. They pressure him about it nonstop. I fear that if I allow my daughter to be without me in their care (which is what they are gunning for right now) that they will invite my ex over, and I don’t trust what he will do. I’m scared he’ll take off with her (only to hurt me, not because he wants to spend time with her) or that he’ll begin to damage her emotionally. His parents won’t stop him because they don’t know how. He controls them and I truly believe they are scared of him.

Sociopath: “Moments of Weirdness” Or Unrecognized Red Flags?


Husband Liar SociopathBy O.N. Ward

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 4: Love At First Sight Is Possible…Just Be Sure You’re Seeing Clearly 

Paul was romantic, caring, and attentive. He took me to plays, cooked dinner with me, and shared hikes and long walks. When our relationship evolved to physical intimacy, he was an amorous but gentle lover. I felt so lucky to have found him.

Profiting from child custody payments

Many, many sociopaths fight for custody of their children. Sociopaths are incapable of loving anyone, including their children. So why do they want the kids?

One big reason is to torment the other parent by depriving them of the kids.

Another reason is to make money. If the sociopath is the custodial parent, the other parent will have to pay up until the children are 18, or even older, for kids who go to college.

Child support payments are often determined by the courts. New research shows that the formulas courts use to set the support payments may overestimate the cost of raising a child by 200% to 400%. See this video produced by DivorceCorp.

Shocking facts on the child support system exposed by breakthrough study, on Youtube.com.

Sociopaths Serve Up Double Standards


Double standards are one of the many hallmarks of being in a relationship with a sociopath. Trust me, as a well-educated woman who was taught that she could hold her own with any man, I didn’t think I had married someone who viewed me as a puppet and whose only purpose for me was to service his needs. But, as months slipped into years, profound double standards emerged in my relationship with “Paul.” Of course, now that I believe Paul is a sociopath, I understand that Paul held these double standards all along. Although he did not display them at first, at some point, they became part of the poisonous air I breathed.

Double Standards Deliver Double Benefits For A Sociopath

Woman kills her son and her self after CPS refuses to act


Ken Kreuscher told Denver Child Protective Services that his ex-wife was mentally unstable and had threatened to kill their son.

Unlike psychopaths who say this just to take the kids away from their former partners, Ken Kreuscher was right.

On the night of March 5, Sara Atkinson shot her son, Kenny Kreuscher, in the head. Then she killed herself.

Kreuscher had pursued sole custody and sought a restraining order against the mother. According to KDVR in Denver:

Kreuscher said a female child protection services case worker came to visit him after that.

“And she stood in front of me and pointed at my closet and said, ‘Unless your kid’s being stuck in a closet every day or beaten every day, I’m not going to do anything about it, and if you call back, if I hear back from you about this kind of stuff, I’m going to take him from you and her,” Kreuscher said.

Sociopaths are Superb Natural Psychologists

Natural Psycholgist

Sociopaths are superb natural psychologists, but they use their insights about human behavior to control and erode.

Past Frameworks Bias How We Perceive New Information

The world is not black and white; it includes countless shades of grey. To create meaning and clarity out of the grey, we use past frameworks (e.g., my ex-husband, “Paul,” is a good, honest person) to process incoming data (the fact that he so often works late reflects his dedication to his career and commitment to support his family). Yet, once this framework has been established, and once we create an explanation (accurate or not) for how an event fits into the framework, we have created a pathway.

Repetition Increases The Speed Of Mental Processing