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Sociopaths and family

Is it parental alienation, or protecting children from sociopaths?

Young girl in Gap_300x200Editor’s note: The Lovefraud reader “tootrusting” posted the following as a comment on yesterday’s article, Horrifying saga of multiple predators, sexually abused children and murder. She asked an important question.

Donna, have you heard about the young 12-year-old girl in Georgia, who took her own life, and streamed it live for all to see? This tragedy occurred December 30, 2016, and I just learned of it yesterday. It seems she had to grow up very young in life, and just could not take it anymore. This story has rocked me, and my heart breaks for the life this young soul endured. It appears many people, whom she should’ve been able to count on, repeatedly let her down. Mom, Dad, Step-father, etc.

Love scam: Woman targets 92-year-old man, marries him, drains his money

Aloysius Mack, 92, of Schaumburg, Illinois, visited the same McDonalds restaurant every morning for coffee. One day, Sophie Miller sat down across the table from him.

He thought he found love. She found a bank account.

Miller got Mack to pay $80,000 for a laundromat business, $40,000 for a van, got on his bank account and tried to get his home.

In another case from Cook County, Illinois, 79-year-old Benita Manalo married her caretaker, Phil Cantillas, who was 28 years younger. He took $65,000 from her.

The Cook County public guardian said that as baby boomers age, the love scam problem will likely get worse.

Fake “love scam” drains 92-year-old man’s savings, on CBSNews.com.

My sociopathic ex-husband led my son into the lion’s den

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a woman whom we’ll call “Eleanor.” Names have been changed.

The sociopath is my ex-husband. We were married for 10 years, two children, girl and boy. He changed THE DAY we were married.

He has alcohol problem, cheated on me, lies. When I asked him to see marriage counselor, he told me to go by myself. I went for counseling by myself for approximately 4 months and was told, “I can either counsel you to live with him or counsel you to live without him.”

This is way before I figured out he is a sociopath, I decided this was not my idea of love. So I told ex that I was going for divorce.

He was enraged. Would not give me money for lawyer. My sister gave me money. He did not have an attorney and dictated what he would pay for child support and everything he wasn’t going to do. I accepted 50% child support.

Sociopaths Can Turn On You In A Heartbeat

Husband Liar SociopathEvery week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 31: Not Your Everyday Walk In The Park

Soon after the cookie incident, I was in a park near Paul’s office when I noticed two people who worked for Paul eating a bag lunch while sitting on the park swings. Neither of them recognized me. The only time I had met them was at a holiday party, and I had been dressed up with makeup, contacts, and my hair down. With blue jeans and a sweatshirt, no makeup, glasses, and my hair pulled back in a ponytail, even casual friends often told me I did not seem like the same person. No wonder it did not register with these two virtual strangers that I was Paul’s wife. No wonder they continued their conversation at normal volume, easily overheard.

How to survive divorcing a narcissistic or borderline partner

Here’s the first thing you need to know about divorcing a narcissistic or borderline partner: It will not be a “normal” divorce.

Yes, divorce is always painful. But if you think your divorce will be like those of your friends or relatives — messy, but in the end, fairly reasonable — well, you are at risk of being blindsided.

If your partner is narcissistic or borderline, you’re in for a “high conflict” divorce. You need to be prepared.

In her Lovefraud CE webinar, Sonia Brill, LCSW, will tell you what to expect — before, during and after the divorce. Whether you are contemplating making a break, or are already in the midst of the drama, she’ll tell you how to move forward.

  • Step 1: Assess your situation and prepare.

Helping children overcome genetic risk for externalizing disorders

 

Liane_SSSP_crop copyBy Liane J. Leedom, M.D.

Imagine loving someone, having children with that person, and then realizing that you’ve gotten yourself involved in an abusive relationship.

Imagine suspecting that your partner, the mother or father of your children, has a personality disorder — and then hearing that personality disorders are highly genetic.

If you’re a therapist, imagine this person is your client. What do you do?

I believe we can and should intervene in the lives of children who are at risk of developing externalizing disorders, such as ADHD, conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, and substance use disorders. If we do, we may be able to prevent these children from developing personality disorders as adults.

When we study large numbers of people affected by externalizing disorders, and personality disorders in particular, we see that about 50 percent of the risk for these disorders is genetic. That means the environment children grow up in, including their interactions with parents, siblings and peers, also strongly influences the development of disorder.

Specific parenting strategies may help children at risk for developing personality disorders

Many Lovefraud readers have loved  someone, had children with that person, and then realized that you’ve gotten yourself involved in an abusive relationship.

You suspect that your partner, the mother or father of your children, has a personality disorder — and then you hear that personality disorders are highly genetic.

What do you do? And if you’re a therapist, how do you help a client in this situation?

Starting September 14, Dr. Liane Leedom will present a four-part webinar series called Overcoming Children’s Genetic Risk for Externalizing Disorders. It is designed for mental health professionals and offers continuing education credits, but parents can benefit from the information as well.


He’s Not Depressed, Anxious, or Sleep Deprived—He’s a Sociopath!

Husband Liar Sociopath

By O.N. Ward

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 17 : The Twilight Zone

With my biological clock ticking loudly, once we had been at our new jobs for eighteen months, Paul and I decided it was time to have children. After just two months of trying, the pregnancy test registered positive. I danced around our house. At last, I was going to be a mother!

My ex has custody of our daughter, even though he pleaded guilty to domestic violence

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Cassidy.”

I was married for 2 years. The problems emerged after my daughter was born.

Jumping to the end of the story, we separated and divorced. We had final court orders for parenting and property in 2010. Since then I have been back to court at least 20 times, we have 3 final orders.

My ex now has custody of my daughter, even though he was accused of domestic violence and pleaded guilty to the charges. In Australia the presumption for shared care is set aside if you can prove this.

I was given custody of my little girl the first and second court cases. He was given sole parenting on the third.

Needless to say, I rarely get permission to see or speak with this little girl. She must now live with and understand how to survive day to day living in this situation and without her mummy and sissy.

When the parents of your sociopathic ex want to see their grandchildren

 

Young girl in Gap_300x200Lovefraud recently received an email from a reader who has a daughter with a sociopath and wants to know what she should do about the sociopath’s parents, her daughter’s paternal grandparents. She wrote:

My issue with my daughter’s paternal grandparents is that I don’t trust them with my daughter. It’s not because they are bad people, but because my sociopathic ex has victimized his parents over and over and over again and has no respect for what they say. His mother is his biggest enabler and both of his parents want him to be involved with our daughter (he has abandoned her) in the worst way. They pressure him about it nonstop. I fear that if I allow my daughter to be without me in their care (which is what they are gunning for right now) that they will invite my ex over, and I don’t trust what he will do. I’m scared he’ll take off with her (only to hurt me, not because he wants to spend time with her) or that he’ll begin to damage her emotionally. His parents won’t stop him because they don’t know how. He controls them and I truly believe they are scared of him.