Millions of sociopaths

Senior Sociopath survey: Were you involved with a sociopath who was over the age of 50?

I Am Angry On You.There’s a rumor floating around in mental health circles that sociopaths “burn out” with age, that they engage in less antisocial behavior as they get older.

Is this true?

Lovefraud wants to find out. So we’ve developed a survey to gather data from you.

Were you involved with a sociopath while he or she was over age 50? The individual could have been any of the following:

  • Your spouse or ex-spouse
  • Your romantic partner
  • Your parent
  • Angry Frowning Man with Arms FoldedYour stepparent
  • Your child
  • Your stepchild
  • Your sibling
  • Another family member
  • A work colleague
  • A business associate
  • A friend, neighbor or acquaintance

If you are familiar with how this individual behaved while over the age of 50, please fill out our survey. You may complete it anonymously, although if you would like to provide contact information for follow-up, you are welcome to do so.

How a sociopath can gaslight an entire circle of friends


Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman in “Gaslight.”

In an article on Yahoo, a woman describes all sorts of weirdness among her circle of friends. At the center of the weirdness was a man who caused his wife to have a meltdown. This man later admitted that he was prone to fits of violence towards people and animals, and didn’t feel any remorse about it.

The author wrote:

This revelation made me look back at everything with a keener eye. I finally connected the dots to see that he manipulated his wife all of these years, thus painting a picture of her as being ditzy, disorganized, and paranoid in order to control her life, as well as the relationships she was forming with everyone around her.

The story is an interesting look at how manipulation can ripple through an entire group of people.

Count the psychopaths in ‘Hell on Wheels’


Hell on Wheels

Thor Gundersen – “The Swede” – is the ultimate psychopath in “Hell on Wheels.”

Gunslingers, industrialists, cowboys and Indians, Yankees, rebels, carpetbaggers, immigrants, Mormons, freed slaves, settlers and whores — Hell on Wheels, the AMC television show about building the transcontinental railway after the Civil War, has them all.

The final season begins next month. What will happen to the hero, Cullen Bohannon (Anson Mount), a former Confederate officer who became the construction “boss man”?

Hell on Wheels first aired in 2011, but my husband, Terry, and I found it later on Netflix. We are totally addicted. We can’t wait to see how all the story lines will play out.

What confrontations will Bohannon face before that final golden spike is driven into the steel?

Sociopaths Count On Getting The Benefit Of The Doubt

Husband Liar Sociopath for storeBy O.N. Ward

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 3: Sociopath Math 

I can almost hear the collective cacophony. “Onna! That can’t be the whole story. There has to be something more to it. There are always two sides.”

Sociopaths and forced teaming – ‘we’re in this together’

Husband Liar SociopathBy O.N. Ward

Every week, a chapter of my book, Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the link at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 2: Please Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain

This probably sounds like the beginning of a love story, a second chance for two people moving on after unsuccessful first marriages. That is how I viewed it at the time, but I was wrong. I would not figure it out for twenty years, but the man to whom I was so attracted was, and is, a sociopath. Already, he was using techniques predators have used throughout time to get their victims to trust and fall in love with them, paving the way for future erosion and exploitation.

Why A Relationship With A Sociopath is Soul-Destroying–Some Thoughts

dead tree

Many people describe a long-term relationship with a sociopath as “soul-destroying?” Mine was. But, why? How does this happen. I’m still searching for all the answers, but here are some thoughts.

Insidious Erosion

Perhaps some, but not all, of the answer is erosion.

Increasingly, he doesn’t come home for dinner; she’s chronically late for commitments with you; he flirts with other women in front of you, then denies it, attributing your concern to your insecurity; instead of engaging you over brunch, she’s constantly checking her phone. Sometimes, she just ignores you. He contemptuously rolls his eyes as you voice your opinion, but denies it. He says he wants to take you to dinner and wants you to pick the place. As you are leaving to go, he subtly criticizes you (“Gosh, I thought you’d want to get more dressed up. Too bad there’s not enough time to change…we’ll be late.” or “Why are you wearing a dress and heels, wouldn’t jeans have been better? I just want you to be comfortable.) Of course, you haven’t caught on yet, that no matter what you wear it will trigger a dismissive comment. Once seated, he undermines your restaurant choice. (“I hope my meal’s better than when I came here for business last week.”)

Labels and Lists Might Not Help



Hello, Lovefraud Readers. A quick reintroduction: I’m Helen Beverly, an author and psychotherapist who writes under the name H.G. Beverly. I was married to a psychopath for over a decade and am still dealing with the challenges of raising our children “together” in a society that struggles to deal with psychopathy. I’ve written some posts about those challenges that you can find archived here on Lovefraud. Also, I published my memoir, The Other Side of Charm, in 2014 and am now releasing my next book one chapter at a time. You can find it here and on my blog at hgbeverly.com. It’s called My Ex is a Psychopath, But I Am Strong and Free.

This book details my healing journey despite failed systems that left me in constant contact with my ex. I talk about how I learned to manage the situation and how I have recovered peace and happiness despite obstacles. Look for a new chapter here each week on Fridays. Here is the second chapter.

On Canadian TV tonight: ‘The Psychopath Next Door’

Psychopath next door

According to the program, psychopaths thrive in business.

Tonight at 9 p.m. on CBC, our Canadian readers can watch The Psychopath Next Door, which “provides a chilling and provocative examination of those in our midst who act without conscience.”

The documentary featuring several well-known experts on the disorder, such as Dr. Robert Hare, professor emeritus at the University of British Columbia, who developed the Psychopathy Checklist Revised. Dr. Steven Porter, also of the university, says:

“Psychopaths are every bit as rational as any human being, if not more so, because they don’t have the noise of human emotion. Psychopaths do know right from wrong in the ‘cognitive’ or rational sense, and even do as well on moral-reasoning tasks in the lab setting as the rest of us.”

I hope Lovefraud readers in Canada will watch the show and tell us what they think. Here’s more info:

My close call with a sex-obsessed cult

Cult turn right

(Photo by Kevin Dooley)

Editor’s note: The Lovefraud reader “Seekeroflight” sends us the following story related to her almost being dragged into a cult. In Lovefraud’s view, cult leaders are sociopaths on steroids, and engage in mind control over cult members.

There is a story from my past that I’ve wanted to share somewhere publicly, and I am thinking this might be a good place to do so. It doesn’t deal with a sociopath directly, but it is a type of situation that those of us vulnerable to sociopaths also may be vulnerable to. I certainly was. It also deals with a specific group which is incredibly dangerous, but of whom there is almost zero knowledge of within the United States even though they are practically at our doorstep.

FBI asks for help in finding 240 teen sextortion victims of Lucas Michael Chansler

Lucas Michael Chansler threatened and blackmailed 350 teenaged girls into sending them explicit images of themselves, eventually collecting 80,000 images and videos of child pornography.

Chansler, 31, of Julington Creek, Florida, pretended to be a 15-year-old skateboarding boy when the contacted the girls. He is now serving 105 years in a federal prison for his crimes. But many of his victims remain unidentified.

So the FBI is asking the public’s help in identifying additional victims. His screen names included “HELLOthere” and “goodlookingguy313.”

If you have information that may help identify victims of Lucas Chansler or believe you may have been victimized by him you can complete a confidential questionnaire atwww.fbi.gov/sextortion or email FBIVictimAssistance@IC.FBI.GOV. You can also call the FBI Jacksonville Field Office at 904-248-7000.