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Lovefraud Professional Resources

Q&A with attorney Megan Lyons, an expert in court battles with sociopaths

megan-lyons-adMegan Lyons, Esq., who is based in Sarasota, Florida, is the newest member of the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide.

What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both?

I have dealt with pathological sociopaths for most of my life in my personal experience, romantically and in the professional arena. As a result of these life changing experiences and relationships, I committed years to studying sociopathy and the recovery from such insidious and sadistic abuse.

How do you go about helping clients who have tangled with a sociopath? 

Because of my personal experience with sociopaths, I am able to provide genuine empathy for my clients as they are navigating through a challenging court battle and the nuances of the legal system with a sociopath. I also provide coaching from a practical perspective, emotionally and mentally because there is significant trauma to process for my clients.

Special Free Comfort and Coaching Call on Thanksgiving Day

Amber AultClinical sociologist and Lovefraud CE instructor Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW, will be offering a free coaching call on the US Thanksgiving Day (open to folks from other countries as well).

If you need extra support, strategies, or relationship coaching as we enter the holidays, you’re invited to join this open coaching call November 24. It is scheduled for noon US Central time, 1 pm Eastern, 6pm London/Dublin. 

Here’s how to join:

Attend by phone:
Call in number: 425-440-5100, or 414-203-0452
Guest pin code: 064024#

Attend online:
Event page: http://iTeleseminar.com/91901280
Event page password: thanks

The ABC’s of choosing a non-toxic mate

Amber AultBy Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW

Partner choice is important to all of us. Toxic relationship survivors often avoid opening themselves to new relationships because of their fear of choosing a partner who will bring more devastation and drama into their lives. Many of us learn to watch for the warning signs that a person is a psychopath, narcissist, or other toxic type, but we aren’t certain about the positive characteristics that indicate someone is good partner material.

In addition to screening out difficult people, we need to learn how to screen in good matches.

To help with this, I’ve come up with an easy-to-remember screening tool. It summarizes insights from years of academic research and work with clients (plus some direct experience as well).

What qualities does a person need to have awesome potential as a keeper?

Here are the ABC’s:

A: Available, accessible, accountable

Groups — a key to healing from a sociopath

Mary Ann GlynnBy Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, CHT

 Most of you who have been involved with a sociopath have been to therapists either with your partner or individually. Therapy is critical to healing from the PTSD of these relationships from control, abuse, manipulation and deceit, and hopefully you have found a therapist who knows techniques for helping PTSD.

There is also the rebuilding of self and the grief of loss that therapy can help with, not to mention the potential stressful impact of divorce on yourself and any children. It would be fortunate if your therapist understands the type of relationship you’ve been in and the person you were with. This is all necessary and important, but there’s a critical piece missing to healing.

This weekend: How to get a toxic partner out of your life

Five Step ExitBy Amber Ault, Ph.D.

To celebrate the first anniversary of the publication of my book, The Five Step Exit: Skills You Need to Leave a Narcissist, Psychopath, or Other Toxic Partner and Recover Your Happiness Now, I’m offering two gifts to Lovefraud readers.

First, a free coaching call on Saturday, October 22, 2016 [12 noon Pacific 2 pm Central, 3 pm Eastern, 8pm London/Dublin]. On the call, I’ll share five skills you need to prevent a crazy-maker from making you crazy and offer free, live coaching, so you can get some relief from the crazy-making situation in your life.  To take part, sign up at amberault.com.

The second gift: this week, the digital edition of  The Five Step Exit: Skills You Need to Leave a Narcissist, Psychopath, or Other Toxic Partner and Recover Your Happiness Now is available on Amazon.com for $1.99. You don’t need a Kindle to get the Kindle edition; Amazon.com offers free software to let you read digital books on any device.

Video: Dr. Karin Huffer on dealing with a coercive controller in court

You’ve been traumatized, and now you must face the person who traumatized you in court. Whether the case is divorce, child custody or some other litigation, you know that your opponent’s objective isn’t just to win the case. Your opponent will attempt to use legal procedures and the courts to crush you. How can you protect yourself?

Surviving Court When You’re Traumatized

Part 1: How to protect yourself when you’re facing a coercive controller
Monday, October 17, 2016 • 8-9 pm EDT • $25

Part 2: How the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) can support you
Tuesday, October 25, 2016 • 8-9 pm EDT • $25


Invisible Intimate Partner Abuse and How to Manage Coercive Control in Court

By Dr. Karin Huffer – editor Wilene Gremain

Woman-in-depression-300x200In recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, here’s a composite story drawn from my cases:

I was a successful college educated thirty-something when I finally met my soul mate on a cruise ship to Alaska. Independent thinker, educated, ecology minded, career oriented, honest, he was almost the mirror image of myself as far as these qualities, two of a kind. We had it all. I was incredibly happy. Anything … we would do anything to show the love and respect we felt for each other. “Marry Me?” “You Bet!”

After almost one year of marriage and closing in on our first Christmas together, I was at full throttle to make the best ever Christmas for us. I remember. It was nothing … nothing … I couldn’t find my car keys as I was leaving the house. While plowing through my purse, I realized my wallet was almost empty. Robbed, that’s what I thought. I’d been robbed.

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, offers FREE online chat support group Sunday Oct. 30th

Mary Ann GlynnExperience the support of people who know! Join our free online live chat support group next Sunday night, Oct. 30th, 8 pm EDT at www.destructiverelationshipshelp.com.  Share your struggles and get feedback, support, and hope from others who get it.  The group is professionally run.  

Here’s how to join:

At 8 pm come to the site and scroll down the home page to the Services section. Click on the highlighted “live chat support group,” and you will be brought to the chat room as a Guest#.  Hope to see you there!

Beliefs that make lesbians vulnerable to exploitative partners

women arguingBy Amber Ault, Ph.D.

Like women in heterosexual relationships, women who date other women face the risk of entanglements with toxic partners. This is sometimes surprising both to straight and LGBTQ people who may assume that relationships between two women partners are somehow “naturally” peaceful and nurturing.

Indeed, sometimes women in disappointing relationships with men contemplate dating women instead because they assume same-sex relationships would be devoid of the exploitation that can happen in cross-sex relationships.

What are the assumptions that make women who date women vulnerable to toxic relationships? Here are a few:

Erroneous Belief #1. All narcissists and psychopaths are male.

While most narcissists and psychopaths in the public eye are male, both men and women across sexual identity categories display antisocial and narcissistic traits. Over-romanticizing women by trusting that women don’t have the behaviors and attitudes that define psychopaths or narcissistic personality disorder leaves women who date women vulnerable to becoming entangled with partners who take advantage of them.

7 Social Science Insights that Will Help You Understand Why It’s Not So Easy to “Just Get the Hell Out”

Amber AultBy Amber Ault, Ph.D.

One of the many difficult questions survivors of toxic relationships ask themselves is “why is it so hard to leave someone who treats me so badly?” As rational people, we recognize that a relationship is extremely problematic and believe that the rational course of action would be just to stop the drama.

And yet.

And yet, this is usually harder than it sounds.

While there are practical and logistical barriers to people exiting, the emotional resistance to leaving is usually present even when there aren’t kids or property or business deals or divorce laws slowing us down.

What accounts for this? Why is it so common?