Mel Carnegie

And We Call This Humanity?

Screen Shot 2013-04-15 at 10.10.43

Crikey, I’ve been having a funny old time of it recently, I can assure you! Mum would always ask me to qualify that kind of statement with the question “Funny ha-ha or funny peculiar?” and the truth is that this time it’s been a pretty equal mix of both. So I’ll stick with what I just said, yep it sure has been a funny old time…

Those of you who follow my blog will know that my roller-coaster life has once again kicked up a gear – and with that of course has come a few surprises. After my story appeared in the Daily Mail, I have been inundated with messages; from people thanking me for sharing my story as well as from media people keen to interview me. All good stuff, all confirmation that I’m doing the right thing, and all helping to raise awareness of my message that we all have the power within us to overcome adversity.

BOOK REVIEW: I’m still standing, by Lovefraud’s Mel Carnegie

I'm Still Standing by Mel CarnegieIf you’ve been reading Lovefraud for awhile, you’ve probably been inspired by the many encouraging articles contributed by Mel Carnegie, a British woman now living in France who experienced her own devastating marriage to a sociopath. Now, you can read her complete story in her new book, I’m Still Standing, and be even more inspired.

Mel has told us snippets of her story: how she lost her father, and then her mother, while she was young. How she was abandoned by her guardians. How she had a son, although the relationship didn’t last. And then how she met the man who she thought was the love of her life, only to be totally betrayed.

In I’m Still Standing, Mel takes us along on her journey, describing in detail the joys, which were interrupted by sorrows, which were then overcome as triumphs. By reading this book, we can take heart: If Mel Carnegie was able to pick herself up after each terrible devastation, we can too.

Lovefraud’s Mel Carnegie tells her story in the UK’s Daily Mail

Mel Carnegie is doing her best to educate the world about sociopaths. She’s written many inspirational articles for Lovefraud readers. Now, Mel has just told her story in the UK’s Mail Online. It’s a great read—one we can all relate to.

Why didn’t I realise my perfect man was a sociopath? on DailyMail.co.uk.

I’m Still Standing!

Well, 2013 has arrived so I’d like to wish a very Happy New Year to everyone here on Lovefraud. I’d also like to make an official announcement (thank you Donna) to say that my book has finally been published! Hoorah! It’s been one heck of a journey getting to this stage, but it certainly feels worth it – the excitement tinged with a touch of fear (will people like it? Will it help others?) has meant that I’ve been gently fizzing for the past ten days.

Why did I decide to pour my heart and soul out in a book that can be read by anyone who chooses? To be fair it’s a question I’m asking myself more now than ever. Because the old worry monsters are once again rumbling inside me, but I won’t let them take over. I decided that perhaps writing about my decision will help to quieten them – after all, it has helped me to work through things many times in the past. And where better to share these thoughts than here, on the site that gave me so much hope and inspiration during the dark days following my discovery of the truth?

New Endings

Sitting here in my kitchen in France, I am pondering what may now lie ahead. The past fewmonths have been, it’s fair to say, a pretty strange ride even by my book – a case of fact being far stranger than fiction. But here I am now, facing another ending. This time it’s the ending of what has been a good and healthy relationship, but one that has now run it’s course. It’s time to move on. I don’t know what the future may hold, but I’m hoping that one day I will once again feel sunshine in my heart.

My time with Patrice has given me the opportunity to feel genuine love. To share. To honour boundaries. To be real. To trust feelings. To be open. To appreciate the humanness of two souls who came together and, I hope, gave and will continue to give enrichment to both our lives. From the very beginning we recognised that there were many differences between us – but through those differences we somehow found a middle ground where we both thrived.

Love After The Sociopath

I’m finally beginning to properly ‘get’ the age-old adage that life is a journey not a destination. Let me assure you, my particular journey continues to be filled with the most bizarre ups and downs, and I’m coming to realize that truth really is stranger than fiction – well, in my case at least.

Many peculiar happenings and coincidences have been going on over the past few weeks, most of which I am not currently at liberty to share. When the time is right I will put pen to paper, but until then I’ve decided to fulfill my urge to write by focusing on my own personal experiences around the subject of love after the sociopath.

Being Human

My Brown Eyed Girl – Life DOES continue after the sociopath

Greetings to all my friends here on Lovefraud. I have been silent for a couple of weeks because I’ve been dealing with a few personal things I would now like to share with you. I already posted the story on my own blog and, after chatting with Donna (who is always so kind and supportive) I’ve realised that while my story is not about the usual sociopath or survivor message, it may possibly be of value. So here it is – with a few added words just for everyone here. I hope you like it…

It felt so deliciously peaceful just floating there in the nothingness. The noisy mind-chatter all but disappeared, I was happily allowing myself to drift off to sleep, enjoying the half-way-ness of being here, there and nowhere in particular. It was Thursday 9th August, and I was staying in Gloucester (UK) with my dear friends Sarah and Kevin.

Keep Shining, Beautiful Ones

This week I saw a quote on Facebook that spoke to me loud and clear “Keep shining, beautiful ones. This world needs your light” – because it immediately made me think of everyone here on Lovefraud. I imagined each and every beautiful person who reads and contributes to the site, and as I did so, my heart warmed and prompted a smile… and moist eyes.

Why did I think of this community? Because I truly believe that our experiences ultimately help all of us to shine more brightly as a result. At the same time, I fully appreciate that this notion may still seem to many to be a long way off, or even an impossibility to some people here – perhaps that was what prompted the tears? Well, that together with an overwhelmingly strong (yet clearly unrealistic) urge to reach out and show those people the future. A future where you are reclaimed and reconnected with your beautiful true self – and burning brightly as a beacon of hope that helps others find their way out of the darkness.

Our Silence Is Their Greatest Weapon

This week I’d like to tell you a true story – although details have been changed to protect privacy. It concerns a recent dinner conversation I had with a well-balanced, well-educated, professional gentleman who has worked at the same company for over a decade. Why? Because he believes in what they do, he loves his job, and he loves the people who work there. This man is articulate, intelligent, great company, happily married and by any measure has made a success of his life – I’ll call him James. So, you can imagine my surprise when, in a quiet moment, this strong man took me aside to confide in me about the horrors he had suffered at the hands of a female boss who had recently left the business.

Real Love After The Sociopath

I don’t remember the number of times that my friends warned me not to shut down after it all happened. How many times they’d ask me not to lose myself. To avoid becoming bitter and lonely. To stay open, despite my pain.

“With what you’ve been through you have every right to never trust anyone again” they’d say “but please don’t let this experience change you from being the loving bubbly person that you are – time will heal. Stay open”

Yes, I am very lucky indeed to have such wise and loving friends. I count my blessings and am grateful for such levels of support – particularly during the early days after discovering the truth.  At the time I thought they were referring to my ability to trust another romantic relationship. That was ok, because I was always ready with an answer. My well-rehearsed response would be along the lines of “It’s ok, because I know that my feelings were real, even if his were not – and I know for a fact that I experienced true love. So if I felt that with an empty soul, then when one day I find a real person, surely the experience will be ten times better?”