Donna Andersen

New research on why people who tell small lies graduate to big lies

good lies


An article in the New York Times reviews new research on how the brain reacts to lies. Essentially, when someone continues to lie, “the negative emotional signals initially associated with lying decrease as the brain becomes desensitized.”

Why big liars often start out as small ones, on NYTimes.com.

The story did not say that the research had anything to do with personality disorders. But it certainly makes sense with sociopaths — the more they lie, the easier it becomes, and they tell more lies.

And then there’s this — sociopaths like the sense of power and control that they experience when people believe their lies. So not only does the negative reinforcement fade, but the positive reinforcement of winning escalates.

Maybe it’s like an addiction — in order to get the same rush, they have to tell bigger lies. Now that’s scary.




Donald Trump’s abusive behavior triggers PTSD — and so does Hillary Clinton’s


Presidential nominee Donald Trump went to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, on Saturday, the site of one of the bloodiest battles of America’s Civil War, supposedly to outline his plans for his first 100 days in office. But first, he said he’d sue the women who accused him of groping or kissing them without their consent.

Typical abusive behavior

Trump denied and threatened. That’s the typical behavior of an abuser — and it’s triggering symptoms of PTSD in women who have endured sexual assault and/or relationships with sociopaths.

A Lovefraud reader wrote:

I wanted to bring up something that has been happening and it’s alarming.  While Trump has been campaigning for president, it has caused flashbacks and triggered memories of my experiences with the sociopath.

I asked this reader about her symptoms. She explained:

Donna Andersen explains sociopaths on Blog Talk Radio

This week, in recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I appeared on the Blog Talk Radio show, Golden Life Living with Charise. 

In this 43-minute interview, I explained some of the Red Flags of Love Fraud — the warning signs of sociopathic behavior. I also discussed typical sociopathic strategies for undermining their targets and the best way to avoid these predators.


Video: Basic rules for a custody battle with a sociopath

In this edition of “Letters to Lovefraud” videos, a reader is facing a custody battle with her son’s father, who she believes is a sociopath. She asks, “What are my options? Can I mention him being a sociopath in court without looking crazy?”

I explain the basic rules of a custody battle with a sociopath. I emphasize that this is not a court procedure with a reasonable person who wants what is best for the child. And I explain your most important tool for building your case.

Sociopaths cannot love, they just want to win

In this “Letter to Lovefraud” video, I explain the sad truth about sociopaths in romantic relationships. A Lovefraud reader writes that her ex-boyfriend said that he missed her, he loved her, he changed. But when the reader went to see him, the guy humiliated her.

The fact is, the guy is a sociopath, and sociopaths cannot love. He concocted the story to deceive the reader, just so he could hurt her. For him, the entire episode was a big win.

The reader, however, can win in the end, by recognizing what her sociopathic ex really is, and eliminating him from her life.


Posted in: Donna Andersen

7 reasons why sociopaths are hot in bed

Boyfriend and girlfriend in bed“Best sex ever!” — that’s how countless Lovefraud readers have described sex with sociopaths.

People have told me that they know the sociopath is bad for them, and they need to end their involvement, but they don’t want to give up the sex!

Other people have told me that they’re afraid they’ll never find another partner who is so sexually exciting!

I specifically asked about sex in three Lovefraud surveys. How do people who were in romantic relationships with people whom they now believe to be sociopaths rate the sex?

In the Romantic Partner Survey (2011) 75% reported the sex was extraordinary or satisfying, at least in the beginning.

In the Female Sociopath Survey (2014-15), 84% reported the sex was extraordinary or satisfying, at least in the beginning.

Even in the Senior Sociopath Survey, now underway, 57% reported the sex was extraordinary or satisfying, at least in the beginning. And this was sex specifically over the age of 50.

7 reasons why psychopaths, antisocials and narcissists will not change


Angry Blond ManOnce a psychopath, antisocial or narcissist is an adult, there is no therapy, and no medication, which will make him or her into a normal, loving person.

You may find this shocking. In these days of medical miracles, it’s hard to believe that there is no treatment for someone who, on the surface, appears to be so normal.

So why won’t malignant people change? Here are seven reasons:

  1. They don’t want to change

For any therapy to work, you have to want to change. Malignants don’t think there is anything wrong with them. Although you and other people are distressed by their behavior, they aren’t. Therefore, they have absolutely no motivation to do the hard work of personal change.

  1. They feel superior
Posted in: Donna Andersen

Gaslighting and one key behavior that reveals a sociopath’s true character

Here’s the next installment of Letters to Lovefraud. Because of her medical issues, a Lovefraud reader doesn’t want to have sex with her boyfriend — and suddenly her keys are missing. Is he retaliating? 

I explain that the boyfriend’s behavior may be even worse than retaliating — it may be gaslighting. His objective is to make her doubt her own perceptions so that she is more easily controlled. And that’s not the only issue. The bigger problem is — why is he demanding sex when she is in pain?

Philadelphia Inquirer quotes Donna Andersen in romance scam story

Donna Andersen

Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com

When serial scammer Patrick Giblin, of Ventnor, New Jersey, was arrested again for attempting to swindle women through dating sites, Barbara Boyer, a reporter for the Philadelphia Inquirer, called me. She was writing an article about romance scams.

I wasn’t scammed by Giblin, but I covered his case. And after my own experience with a con artist, and all the cases I’ve collected, well, I’m an expert on the topic.

The story is in today’s newspaper. Read it here:

Victim of romance fraud: ‘He took everything I had. My self-esteem, my money,’ on Philly.com.

Posted in: Donna Andersen

Patrick Giblin, who scammed 132 women, is charged with more crimes

Patrick M. Giblin

Patrick M. Giblin

Lovefraud has been following the case of con man Patrick Giblin for years.

Between 2000 until 2005, Giblin, of Ventnor, New Jersey, defrauded 132 women out of a total of $320,241 — and blew the money in Atlantic City casinos.

He was sentenced to 115 months in prison. He was released on probation — and went right back to scamming women. So after finishing his prior sentence, he has just been charged again with the additional crimes.

New Jersey con man charged with using dating services to scam women, on philly.com

Read the Patrick Giblin case on True Lovefraud Stories:

Patrick Giblin trolls phone dating lines, taking money from 132 women



Posted in: Cases, Donna Andersen