“A victim of crime shall be treated with fairness, compassion and respect by the criminal justice system.” So states the Crime Victims Constitutional Amendment, added to the state of New Jersey constitution in 1991.

New Jersey also has a 14-point Crime Victims Bill of Rights (NJS 52:4B-36), which expands upon the constitutional amendment. Among its provisions, crime victims and witnesses are entitled to:

• Be treated with dignity and compassion by the criminal justice system.
• Be informed about the criminal justice process.
• Have inconveniences associated with participation in the criminal justice process minimized to the fullest extent possible.

The Bill of Rights sounds good, but it hasn’t done much for Trish Rynn, formerly of Ocean City, New Jersey. She was scammed by a seasoned con artist, Dennis SanSeverino, and now feels she is being further victimized by the New Jersey courts. It is a classic case of Legal Abuse Syndrome.

Editor’s note: The following story was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who comments as “Free.”

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 13 years. Two years after we started living together, I slowly developed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It first started off with a safety issue, where I was going around the house checking to see if everything was locked and turned off, until it escalated that I couldn’t have knives anywhere near me because I was too afraid that I might lash out and hurt someone. I lived in absolute terror because of this. Some instinct told me to hide all of this as much as I could from my husband. But he did find out and he didn’t offer any help, or seek help or to take me to the doctor. There were no hugs or reassurance. Nothing. I very nearly had a nervous breakdown about a year after I started having my symptoms. He used it against me by deliberately “forgetting” to turn things off or lock the door when he went out.

Editor’s note: This post was submitted by the Lovefraud reader Aloha Traveler.

Sociopaths often use subtle methods to intimidate their victims. One of the funniest and most absurd manifestations of this tactic came to me in the form of a small stuffed turtle.

I had been on Maui for about six months and was able to get a cheap ticket home to California for a visit with my friends. I was already deep into an abusive and confusing nightmare with the Bad Man. He was twisting up my reality and I needed to be in a place where I knew who I was, with people that knew me well.

Not long ago, a woman from the Philippines contacted Lovefraud. She had been involved in a long-distance relationship (LDR) with an American man whom she met over the Internet. This woman, we’ll call her Juanita, fell in love with the guy, even though she never met him in person.

Juanita sent her story to Lovefraud—a shortened version is reproduced below. But first, a bit of background. Juanita is separated from her husband and has a child. But although she’d like to find a new husband, she is trapped, because divorce is not legal in the Philippines.

Looking for companionship, she turned to the Internet—which is what thousands of Filipinas do. In fact, the mail-order bride business, matching men from America, Europe and Australia with women from the Philippines, is booming.

Apparently some Filipinas have found love via the Internet, but not Juanita. Here is her story:

Editor’s note: The following essay was submitted by a Lovefraud reader.

Snapshots
By AlohaTraveler

In our lifetime, we hope to capture the best moments of our lives in pictures. We keep albums of our family events, weddings, births, first dates, proposals, holidays, vacations, and so on. There is another kind of snapshot that keeps many of us longing for our sociopaths. These are the “snapshots” we hold in our minds. They are the ideal moments, the perfect words, the heightened romance that so many of us felt when we were being seduced by a sociopath.

Browsing through my mental album, I see a snapshot of myself and the Bad Man, as I call him, passionately kissing in Safeway next to the tortilla chips. It was romantic, it was silly, and I felt so in love. Never before had I done a thing like that! It was just a kiss but it was so ideal, so out of the movies. I recall during our first kiss, he embraced me as if he were Fabio on the cover of a Harlequin Romance novel. Who wouldn’t swoon for that?

Yesterday was a tough day at Lovefraud.

First thing in the morning, I got a call from a woman I’d spoken to before. She was hysterical.

From what she’d told me previously, it sounded like she was dealing with three sociopaths—her husband, her oldest son, and a guy she had an affair with. Initially, her husband had condoned the affair. Then he left her. Then he returned. Then he smeared her with her family and friends. The oldest son was violent.

“You have to get out,” I advised.

“I don’t have any money,” she whined. “My husband hid the checkbook.”

“Is your name on the account?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Then go to the bank, withdraw money and leave.”

Then she started telling me that she begged her husband to make her son stop disrespecting her.

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a 24-year-old woman, a graduate student.

He told me he was all I needed; he told me that he was the only person who cared. He told me my friends hated me because they were so mad at me because I got sick. He told me they were just all bitches like all of the other girls in the world. Like his ex-girlfriends, like his mother, like (me).

I had no idea that sociopaths existed. I thought that “sociopath” was only a word thrown about on TV, late night news, America’s Most Wanted.

My therapist told me that my ex-boyfriend is one of the worst sociopaths that she has heard about in her 12 years of practice.

Abuse starts slow

“I should write a book.” Many people have said this in describing their unbelievable, shocking and downright bizarre experiences with a sociopath to Lovefraud. Mary Turner Thomson of Edinburgh, Scotland, did just that.

Thompson’s book is called The Other Mrs. Jordan—A True Story of Bigamy and Betrayal. It will have you shaking your head in disbelief—and nodding your head in understanding. If you’ve been thoroughly deceived by a sociopath, elements of Thomson’s story will be very familiar to you.

Perfect gentleman

Mary Turner Thomson was a 35-year-old single mother when the sociopath, Will Jordan, wormed his way into her life. Of course, at the time, Thomson did not know the guy was a sociopath. She thought she met a man who was “intelligent and accomplished, but humble about his achievements.” He played flawless piano (for real—Thomson heard him). He was an information technology consultant—they first met at his plush office. He acted like a perfect gentleman—opening the car door for her and attentive in conversation.

Editor’s note: How can one woman cope with cheating, abandonment, cruelty and worse? A Lovefraud reader has sent the following letter, and would appreciate your insight and advice.

I was the perfect victim for the man who has fathered two of my children, having just gotten out of a relationship with a previous sociopath (power and control was that guy’s motivation and he was cruel, vicious person behind closed doors). I was insecure, looking for a person with integrity and morals, and I still believed in the general goodness of mankind. The first sociopath hadn’t smashed my general outlook on life, though, and I was rising to the challenges I faced.

Editor’s note: Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader.

I went on a date last night with a man I met on MillionaireMatch.com.

Looked great on paper. His photograph was so-so and I didn’t expect much.

We met at a restaurant and when he walked in I thought to myself, “Oh that’s not him; he’s too good looking.” Well it turned out to be him. We introduced, started talking and he teased me, and asked if I was buying dinner. That was my first red flag. Why would a proclaimed millionaire ask me to pay? I thought perhaps he was screening out gold diggers. We never left the bar nor had dinner, although he paid for an appetizer and drink.