*huggles* ^_^ That...
Dead soldier’s photos on dating site
PDF The headline on a dating website profile was “Military man searching for love.” The photo showed U.S. Army Lt. Peter Burks. The problem—Burks was killed in Iraq in 2007, and now his parents are suing PlentyofFish.com and True.com.
Read: Vancouver-based PlentyofFish sued over ads with photos of dead U.S. soldier on Ca.News.Yahoo.com.
Here’s the ultimate irony: True.com claims to conduct criminal and marital background checks on all of its members. Apparently, the checks aren’t very thorough.
Read: Lying, cheating and online dating on Lovefraud.com/blog.
Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.
written by Donna Andersen • Permalink •
KatyDid says:
You musta misread my words dearie ’cause I got nuttin to hold out.
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Stargazer says:
LOL Oxy, anyone who looks for a mate in prison…..well……what can you say? They are probably a few sandwiches short of a picnic. It’s funny you mention about meeting people in our community around our neighborhood, though. Look at the gems I’ve met! The rock star neighbor…and oh yeah, that sex offender who hit on me once by the mailboxes. (I wouldn’t have known he was a sex offender if I didn’t happen to have a printout in my house of all the sex offenders in the neighborhood.) There is NOwhere you are safe from meeting predators. They are everywhere! And even the ones you meet in person can lie. I met the child molestor at an open mike for musicians. You’d think that would be a great way to meet someone. And I met a seriously mentally ill woman at a cat shelter I volunteered at. Toxic people are everywhere.
Personally, I just think that online dating is too unnatural and has too many built-in disadvantages (it is too forced, you see when they are online and when they’re not, etc………..). And of COURSE they can lie and deceive you. This is preventable by just getting to know them in person before getting involved, just like you would with anyone else you meet.
IN MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE (note I have qualified this) I have not personally met a greater percentage of con artists there than anywhere else. In fact, I have never met ANY sociopaths on a dating site. I did talk to one on the phone that had spath potential, but it never went any farther than one phone call. I’m not saying there aren’t more of them there. I must be weeding them out or just not drawn to their profiles. Or they are not drawn to mine. Yippee.
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KatyDid says:
Me? FUNNY? Now you know how my daughter got so good a rolling her eyes and why I never blamed her… I Love puns offs. But the other person has to be drunk first, not so they will laugh but so they will be so incapacitated that they can’t beat me up.
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MiLo says:
Well, Katy, I do need to get my glasses changed so MAYBE. Good to see you cyber smile just the same. Enough seriousness going on round here.
We need Hens – where is he?
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KatyDid says:
Star
I have a hard time finding good people to meet b/c SO many people are in happy marriages/relationships that they are busy, paired up, not looking to go out, prefer to hang with their SO.
My best way to meet someone is to walk my dog. I would not partner with someone who did not love critters so I get exericise, my dog gets outta da house, and who knows…..
I have ONE strong rule about dating. The purpose. It’s to assess whether you want to go on the NEXT date. It is NOT to latch on and then try to make them be the dream relationship. I see a LOT of teens do this (my daughter’s friends). It’s like, once they choose, they think it’s a matter of working on longterm stuff until it does or does not work out. Backwards thinking. Not a good end.
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Stargazer says:
Katy, I just go out with someone to have fun – a nice lunch, conversation, or whatever. That’s it. The last guy I went out with we met at a museum where there was a snake exhibit. Though he was kind of drippy, I enjoyed being there anyway. I agree with you that projecting your dream mate onto someone you don’t know is a BAD idea. I SO wish I could meet men by walking my snakes down the bike trail. It usually has the opposite effect. LOL Literally, people rush to the opposite side of the path.
P.S. I have noticed the same thing about my friends – they are very busy and often tied up with their families. Seems to be a fact of life here in the U.S. One of the reasons I’m looking to move. Costa Rican people and people who travel there for adventure have all the time in the world.
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Ox Drover says:
Star I think a concept of “time” or “rush” is as much cultural as any other way….using a calendar instead of a stop watch to “keep time” and there is a joke about American Airlines time is “the plane leaves at 6:02 pm,” Italian Airways is “about 6 p. m.” and Colombian airways time is “probably Tuesday.” LOL
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Ox Drover says:
Katy Dear, I can see why people would want to kill you over jokes like that! My favorite one is what would Elvis be doing if he was alive right now? Scratching at the top of the coffin!!! See no matter how low your joke, I can get one lower! LOL Gottya!
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KatyDid says:
AHHHAA. LOL. Oh Oxy, PLEASE. FIRST Send a warning to empty my bladder! Thanks!…. b/c NOW I’m building my repertoire! When I get three, I’ll take it on the road…
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Ox Drover says:
Now warnings! Yours made me spew decaf coffee all over my desk and up my nose! There is no statute of limitations on revenge!@ LOL
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Stargazer says:
ha ha ha that Elvis joke just cracked me up.
Katy, here people spend so much time just trying to keep up with their complex lives – replacing batteries on cell phones, getting their cars fixed, on the phone with their mortgage companies, driving to their full-time jobs…..people are constantly busy and even multi-tasking in their personal lives. It’s like being on a treadmill. In a third world country, there is nowhere to go and nothing to do. There’s really nothing BUT time. I happen to really like the laid back pace of life there. I’d as soon give up my car, my jewelry, my fancy clothes, fancy furniture, and what little possessions I have for that slower pace of life. Europeans even have a slower pace of life than we do. Americans always seem to be rushing around with a cell phone to their ear. I cannot relate to it. I could easily have a 5-hour conversation with someone with no interruptions and give them my undivided attention for that long. But I don’t know of any other American who would or could do that. Everyone is SO busy!
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Ox Drover says:
Star, you would LOVE IT AROUND HERE…..talk about molasses in January slow…but you know I kind of like it too. If I didn’t like it, I would change it.
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KatyDid says:
Star
I think the Europeans have caught up with us. I’ve spent about 4-6 mo/yr for the last 5 yrs in Europe and they drive like nuts, don’t be elderly and try to use the subway system b/c people shove the weak aside, a crowd can clear a railway station in 10 min, busy busy busy.
Like the USA, country folk are dif than city folk. I like to visit the city, I don’t like living here. But it was easier to disappear in a city than in a small town, no matter how remote. Now I no longer am in hiding but haven’t decided if I keep this as a base and shuffle around or if I should sell up and get my old bones to my last park bench.
I spent quite a bit of time in Mx and it was slow but sadly the reason it was slow was b/c there was no opportunity, no hope, so people just gave up and put in their time. Family was their refuge and for most, a good refuge, but for those it wasn’t there was no escape. Most were illiterate so reading was not an escape. I can live anywhere as long as I have a book.
Katy, musing.
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KatyDid says:
Oxy
I’d love the Ozarks in southern Mo where my grandparents lived but… it has snow. As a wussy from Iowa, I will visit snow, I will ski and frolic (ok, maybe no one will let me frolic), but I will NOT live in a$$freezing weather ever again.
Katy, changing her name to Whiner
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Stargazer says:
Oxy, one of these days I would love to take a road trip out there. I would enjoy it immensely. I would especially love the work part of it. I am very service-oriented and enjoy even washing people’s dishes for them. (I am not crazy about doing these things for myself). I would also travel a long distance to hang out for a few hours with someone where their cell phone wasn’t going off every 5 minutes, and maybe they would even TURN it off for me. Imagine that. I dream of relationships where people would actually consider me their highest priority for a few hours once in a while.
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Stargazer says:
Katy, what brings you to Europe for so much time out of the the year? Do you do some sort of work there? It just occurred to me how we know so many private things about each other but not the important details of each other’s lives.
I’m right with you on the a$$ freezing weather. Don’t ask me what I’m doing in Colorado. I really don’t know anymore. lol
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KatyDid says:
I ran away. Other than that, it’s tmi. Sorry. I love to talk shop but this isn’t the place.
Katy, who gets it about cell phones and has never had one.
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Ox Drover says:
Star you can come wash my dishes any time! LOL I’ll even let you mop the floor! LOL
When my kids were little I actually convinced them that washing dishes was a privilege! “If you don’t behave you can’t wash dishes tonight” they were like 11 and 12 whenn they caught on! lOL
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Stargazer says:
When I used to go to Buddhist meditation retreats, often they were work retreats. I washed dishes, made salads, and tended the garden, often alone and in silence every day for weeks or even months at a time. It would be so good for me to belong to a community where I could serve in some way like that again.
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Stargazer says:
Katy,
No problem about the tmi, you mystery woman you. I lived in Europe for a year once. And I think it’s AWESOME that you also don’t have a cell phone. I had one once a long time ago. The one time I needed it – traveling through a remote part of Utah and running out of gas – it didn’t work. So I got rid of it. I really don’t miss it at all. I also don’t have a TV. I’d much rather be here interacting than vegetating in front of one. People’s lives are so much more fascinating to me than TV shows. It cracks me up when people say they want reality. Then they go sit and watch the Kardashians for an hour. Or Animal Planet, which is the biggest fantasy show out there (man-eating snakes and so on). lol
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silvermoon says:
Its been said before, context is the best frame of reference. A person who has good relationships with old friends and their families is much less likely to be a sociopath, but, only a combination of observations and time will tell.
Costa Rica sounds like a good place to slow down and take that time.
I think the Ananda community has places around the world and that you can travel to them as a member of the larger community. I knew someone who spent a lot of time in Italy that way.
It worked out pretty well.
There aren’t so many rules that protect any of us better than good manners and time. I have long since given up the notion of being smarter than someone who believes they are much smarter than me.
Its just very hard to tell. Especially if the brain chemistry of bonding is working against you. That’s the hook that makes it work for them. Complicated to figure it all out.
Simple living at a slower pace seems to be a great idea.
“All events are linked together in the best of possible worlds; for, after all, if you had not been driven from a fine castle by being kicked in the backside for love of Miss Cunégonde, if you hadn’t been sent before the Inquisition, if you hadn’t traveled across America on foot, if you hadn’t given a good sword thrust to the baron, if you hadn’t lost all your sheep from the good land of Eldorado, you wouldn’t be sitting here eating candied citron and pistachios.
—That is very well put, said Candide, but we must go and work our garden.”
Voltaire
.
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Ox Drover says:
Living a quiet and slow paced life can be done where ever you are I think, (My enter key has quit working so I will have to use a series of dots to make paragraphs)……….I think it is a way of thinking as much as anything else, but if you want OTHERS to have that same way of thinking, then you must associate with the people who think like that. It may not be easy to find those people around you though, but when you find one, you should keep their company……I can’t think of too many places, but maybe if you were to associate with Amish people, say or with Buddhist people…..part of the problem I see in moving to another country is having a job that will provide enough SECURE income……Many countries, not sure if CR is one of them, actually SEEK retirees with a monthly income (like Social Security or whatever) to settle there, or people with X amount of money to invest in the country, read deposit in their banks. Many times in the central American areas the amount of money per month or deposit is not all that much……Some of my friends used to spend half the year in an ex pat community in Mexico, but with the kidnappings and such most of the people I know no longer go to Mexico at all any more and I would not. I used to live in San Diego/ElCentro areas and went to Mexico weekly to shop for everything except fresh fruits and veggies which we couldn’t bring back across the border…….I loved the culture and the people, but the way things are now, absolutely NOT, I think the area has changed too much. One of my friends sons is in the military and is stationed across the border from Juarez and he said he felt safer in Iraq and Afganastan where he served in both places. Apparently the US gov is going to have a military presence permanently across the border (on our side) from those areas as they built pretty permanent and nice barracks for the troops there. …….Living out in the country doesn’t make the pace of life any “slower” if you don’t make it slower yourself. Also, I think the mental part of a “slow” versus a “fast paced” life is as much a part of it as the physical fastness. It’s just how you THINK about and FEEL about the “pace” of your life. Even out here I have gotten myself involved in so many various things that I didn’t have time to spend with friends. When I realized that, then I cut down on the number of time consuming things and slowed it down. Also, The NUMBER of “friends” can become too much, and you end up spending too much time with people that are really not all that close and you don’t have time for those that you really care about, so I actually made a concentrated effort to pare down the number of people on my “friend” list….to just spend more QUALITY time with those people I cared about the MOST and less time with people that I really didn’t care that much about. Not bad people,, just ones I didn’t really enjoy that much. …………………………………………………..Ohhhhh, I can make paragraphs like this….anyway the point is that how I think about the pace of MY life and who I choose to spend time with I think determines what I FEEL about it.
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behind_blue_eyes says:
Ox;
While I am not quite as extreme regarding your position on internet dating, I do agree it is perfect “hunting grounds” for sociopaths and other toxic individuals and anyone using the internet to date should proceed very cautiously. Do a “background” check — a simple Googling of a profile name can turn up important bits of information about a person and sociopaths are often not good at coving their tracks. This was certainly the case with my x-spath…
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