Psychopaths show overactive dopamine systems
PDF Why do psychopaths go after what they want regardless of the negative consequences they may experience? According to the journal Nature Neuroscience, the answer may be chemical—an overactive dopamine reward system.
Read Driven toward reward without regard for consequence on Time.com.
Read the scientific study, Mesolimbic dopamine reward system hypersensitivity in individuals with psychopathic traits, in Nature Neuroscience.
Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader via Facebook.
written by Donna Andersen • Permalink •
flowerpower says:
Thanks CA mom,
I dont really know how to “convince” him anymore that he has “won”.He has all of the material possessions but wants to appear “generous”. The entire community knows what he did so how can I cover that up?
What he is most upset with is that I avoid and ignore him in public. I guess I can let down all boundaries and let him run all over me again??? We have NC and he cant stand that..wants to appear like the amicable divorced couple in public.
Just a good ole boy like he thinks he is. I dont play those games because when I did before, I was not taken seriously about the abuse and threats. So how to let him win. I dont know.
I basically ignore him and hope that bores him. He just wants drama anyway. But he is ruthless and vindictive. His reputation is suffering and he blames me of course..not his continued immoral choices or ugly arrogant behavior.
Kids are another tool for punishment and revenge. Now trying to take them and be parent of the year. I am trying to convince our psychologist of this. I am beginning to think HE is an N too. Doesnt do anything with the ex; placates and soft sells. But he is getting alot of money in this.
Danger is in the form of the friend. He is the one to watch. Will do anything for ex. and hates me.
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ErinBrock says:
ErinBrock says:
Flower:
Let me ask a few questions…..and forgive my CRS….Its’ bigtime….
What do your kids want? If kids want to be with Daddy-0, there is not much you can do exept raise their awareness…..and NOT directed in S’s afflictions….or you’ll drive em closer to dad and farther than you.
How old are kids? young teens?
What are your legal standings currently.
(BTW, you DON”T NEED AN ATTORNEY)You need balls and tenacity….and most mothers can develop those both!
Do you have a paper trail of abuse/neglect?
STOP….don’t campaign just yet….NOT a good idea!!!
This is where patience is key!! Really….if you don’t have it….your gonna learn it!!! It will benefit YOU and kids!!!
Have you read the articles and other comments re: this topic?
If not…..spend the day doing this…….gather ALL INFO you can.
Is divorce final?
And…..your not gonna be able to ‘force’ a diagnosis of S…..
Start using the word…CLUSTER B personality disorder…..HE is a CLUSTER B!
YOU DO HAVE THIS DIAGNOSIS!!!
Using the word Cluster B….provokes people to ask what a cluster B personality disorder is…..THEN….you can speel it out…….and educate them…..
BUT, you MUST be educated on it yourself….thoroughly, to educate others!!!
GO FOR IT!!!!
If the kids don’t want to see dad…..then YOU don’t have to force them…..this is the beauty of teens!!!
You can’t prevent it, but you also can’t force them to go.
So…..tha’ts a start…..and forgive me for not remembering your complet story….
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ErinBrock says:
Were you the ‘love of their life’, their ‘soulmate’ or new best friend
within weeks?
Were they initially charming, saying all the right things, “mirroring” your hopes, desires, and feelings?
Are they jealous and possessive?
Do they have few friends or long-term relationships?
Multiple failed relationships?
Do they badmouth their ex or other friends?
Do they tell lies, big and small?
Does the relationship veer from hot to cold? Do they “Jekyll and Hyde”?
Do they have an unstable work history, frequent unemployment or
job changes?
Do you find yourself “covering” for them, making them appear better than they really are?
Do they have constant financial problems?
Are people mad at them because they don’t honor their debts?
Do they have a lack of realistic goals? A history of living off others?
Are they comfortable taking money from you?
Have they ever used your credit cards without your knowledge?
Do they make you feel guilty about your outside interests, time spent with friends or family?
Do they make you feel you’re not good enough, that you’re lucky to
have them?
Have they ever humiliated you in public?
Do they withdraw love, friendship or approval as punishment?
Do they have a bad temper triggered by something seemingly insignificant? Do you often not even know what set them off?
Do they always shift blame onto you? Is whatever’s wrong always your fault?
After raging, do they act like nothing at all has happened?
Do you ever feel “smothered” by them?
Do they ever threaten, hit or shove you, punch walls, break your things or call you names?
Are they always on the “outs” with someone?
Do they pressure you to quit or change jobs/friends/relationships/homes?
Do they have problems with authority figures?
Stalked anyone for any reason whatsoever?
Have they had Restraining Orders?
Is your self-esteem eroding?
Do you sometimes feel you’re the crazy one?
Is the relationship affecting other aspects of your life?
Do you have a gut, “sick” sense that things just aren’t right?
Do you sometimes wish it would just all “go away”?
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ErinBrock says:
So important I thought I’d post it in two spots….
Add to this list to build it.
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one_step_at_a_time says:
potted plants and tires to rotate kids!
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CAmom says:
Dear Flower,
Can you investigate the friend? If he has a criminal past maybe that could be used in your favor, and if he doesn’t it might put your mind at rest?
I understand the need to be seen as generous and amicable. My ex wanted to be seen as a good guy also. It’s quite possible the therapist is an N…since my ex was/is a therapist, I know no one is exempt. And my ex needed to be validated by therapists in town that he was really a good guy and i was a pathetic bitch. They were more than willing to accomodate him…so the ex would call me & tell me my diagnosis…and it was costing him a lot of money also…but the satisfaction for him was immense.
Think I would start with the friend, Flower. Find out everything you can. I once hired a private investigator for someone else (a woman who was borderline & considered my ex her guru—she was like the woman in fatal attraction—-long story!).
Pretending you are amicable so he can be seen that way is not healthy for you or the children. Ignoring them is good, they do hate that and love the drama. I did have contact with my ex and since I have a few illnesses, bored him to death with details…you can’t do that, but boring them silly can work. My ex is still vengeful and harbors a lot of mixed emotions about me…he calls, and I am nice to him. Think he’s just checking to make sure I haven’t met anyone…or whatever reason he has. I don’t want to make him angry…
But, the friend, I would investigate the friend. Definately.
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flowerpower says:
EB…please read my post from last night anwering your questions..
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flowerpower says:
Ca mom..we did. Has a local history of harrassment on record. No other public records. Is on mental disability and dx with depression. Known on the street as a “con man” locally in the gay community. Dates women occas under real name to appear straight but has a gay “nickname.”Carries pistol in car without a permit. We continue to investigate him. Need solid evidenceof his “secrets”. But I know first hand of threats. Tried many times to cause “accidents” with me and others. i have witnesses to his behavior. Harrassed my friends; damaged their property; helped ex with his “girlfriends” and watched me during marriage and reported in. Is VERY manic…should have been diagnoses as bipolar but was taken in during depressed episode , so has depression dx.
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witsend says:
flowerpower,
Camom shared some really good ideas with you. All of this really is so complicated when staying safe is an issue. As much as people with this disorder can look much like carbon copies of each other, we have to remember there is different places that they fall on the spectrum scale.
Bipolar is a very treatable illness but left untreated it can present its own danger. Mix untreated bi polar condition with s/p/n personality and you have a rather unpredictable situation.
To be honest with you I believe an s/p/n s behavior or what their next move might be can be somewhat predictable if you know them rather well and have a long history between you.
If you give it enough thought and take your emotion out of the picture.
However because of the nature of the bipolar illness, this is very difficult to predict what a person might or might not do.
so it certainly adds another dimension to trying to keep safe.
I also do not know all the background history to your story. But do a search online to really research bipolar, manic, depressed, and especially, mixed bipolar episodes.
Many do not have mixed episodes, but these can be the most dangerous as I understand it. As I understand it mixed episodes are rapid cycling.
Stay safe and try and educate yourself as much as possible to your own individual circumstance and what you might be dealing with.
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ErinBrock says:
Flower:
I can’t find your reponses? Can you direct me to where you posted them…..or repost them here?
Thankx…
Witty….I so agree with the predictability statment you make above…..
By paying attention, taking the emotions out of the mix, and just noticing things I never paid attention to prior…..I know the S’s next move…..with certainty.
I realize all situations are different…..but we can predict a lot…..by removing emotions and keeping a balance and paying attention and deciphering.
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flowerpower says:
I see my post from last night (1:30am approx) just under your “yes” answer to onestep…
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ErinBrock says:
Flower….I’m sorry…
All I’m seeing under my YES post at 1:28am is Oxy’s post at 8isham…then CaMoms post to you this am…..
I don’t show your post? Freaky!!!
Can you cut and paste it here.
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CAmom says:
Flower,
Do your kids go to his home for visits & the friend lives on the property I think? I don’t know, but would think the friend is not appropriate to be around kids with record of local harassment. Carrying a gun in his car without a permit–don’t know where you are, but i think here in CA with no priors, would most likely get a fine & gun confiscated. Not enough to really do much…but may be enough to really infuriate him. But very scary to know that he has a gun in his car.
Witty, Erin, very good advice for dealing with the ex. But the friend is an unknown for now…so not too predictable. Causing accidents and threats and destroying property—he isn’t looking too good already from police point of view. I was fortunate I had “home court” advantage–if I needed it, my daughter’s dad is cousin to the police chief here. Never had to play that card, but came close.
Do the police know what’s happening? Do you have a good contact there? And in DA’s office? Threats are reportable.
In the manic stage they can get really grandiose and bizarre.
But depends on *how* manic, etc. The gay thing is not really relevant–my ex was gay (i found out) and has ads up now in Florida looking for women under his name and men under nickname. Does go to character, but that’s about it.
It sounds as if you are doing all you can. Keep digging and documenting.
Do you know if he has a record out of state? Or how he and your ex know each other? Any idea why he’s there, other than to apparently freeload & make himself “useful” as a spy for your ex?
You have to make your & your children’s safety #1 priority. Pepper spray or Mace in your car and in the house. Most bullies are just that–bullies. They don’t act on threats. But with the mix of mental illness, they are unpredictable.
Please keep posting and stay very safe. Dogs are good for alerting you to anyone outside, even little dogs. Years ago I was stalked and terrified…before cell phones, etc. He finally blew up my car (parked in front of the house) then disappeared. Guess that satisfied him…
Please do post often, Flower. You asked about a diagnosis for your ex…don’t think you can get one without the ex sitting down for evaluation and doubt he would do that.
We’re here for you and pulling for you…
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one_step_at_a_time says:
flower – best not to post right now.
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learning says:
Dear Witsend,
I am just now reading your posts from last week… I havent been online as my son is having a rough go of it since getting the viral illness. Ive heard that each time a child w/diabetes gets a viral illness it can set their system askew — thus requiring increased doses of insulin — so been trying to regulate him again and get back in good diabetic control – still in process.
I just wanted to let you know that I DO UNDERSTAND what you have explained. I think I was offering a way for you to end up in the same place you wish to be — without your son under the same roof. But I was offering suggestions in a way that allowed you to let your son take the lead by summizing “crap, this woman isnt going to budge, its not worth it for me to pursue going back home any further” — I dont think I was clear with that. I suggested you make a list for him, set boundaries, keep YOUR REALITY clear amidst his UNREALISTIC VIEWPOINT. I guess thats how I dealt with my Mom. Eventually she would give up trying to contact me – because I kept my rules and my vision very CLEAR to her – get on meds or dont contact me. Thats not what you can say to your son – but my efforts were to make it appear as if you were a semi-willing participant (so he cant attack you that you werent offering a place in the middle (Even though there would be no real intention on your behalf) when dealing with someone of his nature I felt it best that you appear to be trying to make progress – but ultimately HE HAS TO MEET YOUR REQUIREMENTS – and he will have no interest in that. Thus, HIM being the one to make the move onward and forward away from trying to come back to your home. Its like reverse psychology. Oxy, it is true that I am not 100 percent convinced that Witttys son is exactly like your son — I hope you receive this with the openness and honesty that comes with it. I think he has similarities but I dont think he is on the same level. I know you do, and I respect that , and I think Witty has to take that in the highest regard and err on the side of caution so I support your advice to Witsend completely. Its best to be safe when dealing with situations like these.
And you are right Witsend, my x-S didnt respect me nor keep his word. But had I known to respect myself and all that comes with it – he would not have remained in my life. I would have set boundaries and had expectations from a friend/lover and I wouldnt have continued to see him or partake in situations with him.
I think what I was offering to you was another way to approach it – to get the same end result you are looking for. With these types of people/personalities the creativity level has to nearly surpass theirs — almost have to plan how to get the end result without having you appear to be the bad one — and I know you will always be the bad one in his eyes – but by being able to say look this is what I offered, I WAS willing, I tried to meet you half way, I had requirements because I am your Mom and I respect myself – and I will NEVER go back to the place we were in under the same roof. I dont want that for you and I dont want that for myself. So unless you are willing to live with normal healthy rules and requirements coming back here is not an option for you.
I hope Im not frustrating you Witsend, but I think I may have been in my responses to you. I am not viewing it or treating him or expecting him to be NORMAL – what Im suggesting is that you treat him as you would any individual who tried to live with you without boundaries and respect. You let him know the deal (and I suggested twisting it that you found out you do have rights where you live when minor is 17 and left home)…etc…. just tossing it back to him in a way that says – Hey son, you may choose to live by your own rules -and get in and out of your own trouble – but that wont float under my roof. Things must change drastically before you can ever come back here.
I know saying that doesnt mean he will miraculously change — I just believe saying that will let him know you are not going to be a pushover and you are willing to go to court over it if he has no intentions of living by normal rules and restrictions.
I hope Ive made sense. IF not, Im sorry. I have witnessed it all with my Mom including her parents calling the police when she arrived to the house just looking for a place to sleep – but I understood the boundaries and rules and restrictions they had to enforce with their daughter as she lived in her own world. A mental illness. Which isnt what your son has been diagnosed with – but the way they handled it was the same.
Always offering the reality of what could be == if she CHOSE to change…
It never happened…until the last six months of her life.
I think of you more than you know Witsend, I send prayers your way and always believe you will find the strength to get through everything he sends your way. I know my Grandmother had many a moment where she surrendered…once in a car in a church parking lot, another time in a courthouse. My heart reaches out to you and my suggestions are merely that — if it seemed that I didnt understand, Im sorry I wasnt clear enough especially for you and Oxy. I do get it…I just offer a different approach – consistent and frustrating – but I believe one that will get the result you are trying to get. xoxo LTL
I am unable to stay online and continue to read right now and I so want to!!!!!!!. But I think of so many of you and send my prayers and strength and love and light to ALL of you! ps. Donna way to go with the school system. It gave me chills and smiles and tears…as its EXACTLY what I would like to see happen across the world – early education!!!!!!!! xoxo LTL
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flowerpower says:
Thanks Ca mom..I do have dx..bipolar N. Just not ASPD. I have 2 dogs which makes me feel safer. Friend and he met in high school so long way back. Very strange relationship. Thanks for all advice. i will keep reading . Safety is my main concern …the friend is really jealous, nutty, irrational kook
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witsend says:
learning,
You don’t ever have to feel the need to apologize for any of the suggestions you have ever given to me.
I have a great respect for you. Your viewpoint and ideas are always straight from your heart.
My frustration in all of this really comes from a place that is hard to explain. Because even though I am talking about a teenager, a young person, what he is doesn’t “feel” like a teenage-young person “thing”. And I forget that sometimes.
I try and interact with him as if he were just an average teenager.
But he is so good at creating this atmosphere of insanity (in a split second) and crazymaking that when I am right there with him, in the midst of it all, it doesn’t matter what I say or what I do. I can set boundaries, I can speak logic, but that is as far as it goes.
He is to wrapped up in his own agenda. And generally speaking he usually goes into attack mode. With him almost anything you might say he uses against you (by spinning/twisting it to his own meaning) and it gives him new territory to explore to degrade you further.
I have often told my friends that when trying to have a discussion with him it would serve me best to have a team of lawyers present. Because it is impossible to communicate with him. Circular conversation. At his end attacking. Passing blame. Verbaly Abusive. Its all unacceptable behavior coming from ANYONE.
There is a hardening to his heart. And that isn’t the way I would like to describe a son of mine. But I am unable to reach him. And at some point I really have to understand this. Occasionally I still have these moments when I think that I should try, or that I can do this. But it is like stepping into a trap. Every time.
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one_step_at_a_time says:
witty – i described myself this way on a blog late last night: caught almost a year ago by a beguiling hare, she is chewing through the leghold. using teeth and words she is slowly extricating herself. soon. soon.
xx one step
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learning says:
Witsend,
I agree with you. My suggestion was truly with the understanding that you were aware you were unable to reach him, but you were looking for ways to deal with him wanting to come back home. My approach was what I did with my Mom to not be a recipient of the absolute worse backlash and crazymaking of hers — I would say things that were calm and even keeled and almost had a tone of making her think I wanted the same things to happen between us as she did (her getting custody, her visiting, me moving to where she was,etc)…but when I surrendered or gave up from that point on I truly never intended to follow through – unless she miraculously did what I asked for (meds/therapy, etc..) prior to my surrendering the loss of my mom in my life — I had her committed, my sister begged her to become normal or try or we had false expectations and kept getting “Burned” by her. It wasnt until I made the choice to no longer try to reach her or get on her level, but rather stay FIRM with mine in a sensitive way to her “style”…. she could never hang up the phone truly screaming at me…because I would always say “I know, thats what I want too, but I remember where we were and what you were like and I dont want to go back to that unless you do this or that…eventually she would just say ok… I have to go now…the conversations never escalated because I would say I have the same wishes as you – but its just not possible with the way you choose to live.
Trying to reach your son really may no longer be an option for you, as you say. And what you must do is protect yourself the easiest and most creative way. When you are aware and accept its like stepping into a trap, everytime, and its no longer attempts on your part to reach him, you begin to separate reaching out from simple self-survival. Do whatever is necessary for your survival Witsend. You no longer will be the boobie in his trap – you will be able to step in and step out or sidestep him completely when you are one-step ahead of him without ever letting him know. When you know what to expect from him…his end attacking…passing blame…verbally abusive…the shock factor dissipates and all that is left is sticking to your boundaries and rules and expectations (ones he will likely never adhere to) but we already know this…the goal now is to let him know you are here for him IF he ever chooses to change but until then you wash your hands of any responsibility or guilt on behalf of his choices/actions…as he is as adult now. And children leave home when they are an adult…so he is free to be the man he wants to be.
Things like that…to get him to give up on his idea of moving back home while at same time making you appear understanding but firm that he isnt allowed back home.
Its not easy to deal with his type of personality – I believe the only way is to twist and turn your meaning right back at him vs. pissing him off in a direct way – helps eliminate the dangerous levels of anger/frustration and or retaliation.
Hugs. xoxo
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OxDrover says:
Dear Learning,
No, I am not in any way offended by your supposition that Witty’s son may not be so much like mine, Mine was not like mine at 17, he was INCREASING in violence though, and by age 18 had gone to prison, by age 20 after a short time out of prison, he went back for murder.
The behavior can escalate very quickly, as they ‘Learn new methods” of obtaining control over their victims.
Witty’s son has never gone past the THREATS of violence except for some PUSHING, but at the same age, my son had not done so either. The fact that Witty’s son did physically push her, then CALL THE COPS on her, (that did back fire though) and that he always maintains his MASK in front of others, only showing her the controlling side of himsxelf, says to me that he KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE IS DOING. He is using PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE tactics at school, by sleeping in class. Showing up but absolutely REFUSING to cooperate with teachers—he is becoming more and more aware that he can “control situations” to get what HE PERCEIVES AS A WIN. He does NOT perceive that his “win” (maintaining control) is not perceived by others as Beneficial. Like not getting an education is NOT beneficial to anyone that I can think of, yet he BELIEVES he doesn’t “need one” becauxse he is “THE smartest person in the universe.” (Yes, he really believes that!) Between a combination of mania from Bi-polar disorder and the psychopathic thinking, it can quite be a DANGEROUS situation that can BLOW UP like a BOMB without much if any warning, but is most likely to escalate in leaps and bounds.
If it doesn’t escalate, GREAT! But if you are not prepared and it does escalate you may be the one blown to bits. i.e. “better safe than sorry”
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learning says:
Oxy,
Yes. Because teenagers with this severe and extreme behavior have the potential to DANGEROUSLY blow up on a moments notice…I agree its best for Witsend to do whatever it takes to protect herself and be prepared for literally anything with regard to her son.
My mom pulled a knife on her sister when an argument got heated…she used it as a scare tactic and quite possibly if the police didnt arrive when they did she may have taken it further. She once pushed over a glass cabinet toward her Mom – again police called and she was taken away… its scary to be face to face with someone you have no idea what they will do – and you see it in their expression that they dont care either way.
My survival instinct was always to allow her to speak her crazymaking thoughts and for me to say yes I agree, yes you are right but Im just not willing to go back to that place with you. We dont get along. You need to move on – you are FREE to go out in the world and make your own adult choices. The days of treating eachother like (in Wittys case…a mother and a son) have passed us by – we just arent on the same page anymore and cant get along. You dont need the burden of me, and I dont need the stress of us…stuff that makes them go ” ok…ok…Im outta here…I dont need to hear this crap…Ill find my own place”….
But I agree whatever way Witsend handles her son there will be a very valid concern of how much danger may come out of it — I thought by being calm and understanding on phone or in a public place or with a therapist there (never alone with him) — allowing him to speak his craziness and saying she agrees with most of it and wants the same things too…but she just cannot agree to go back to living under the same roof unless HE agrees to this that and the other. Which he wont…but it allows him to feel heard and just summize his Mom is ( dumb, stupid, pain in the arse – or whatever crazy description he comes up with and he MOVES ON because in her “dumb/stupid/pain in arse” way — she “understands” him but wont budge. I found it lessened the blow with my Mom – vs her parents yelling back at her or treating her like she was a crazy person (which she was) — but when I just sat and listened and agreed and kept it mostly her saying everything…and me agreeing or saying you have a point there…stuff that just enabled her not to escalate…until the very end I would say I just cant go back to living with you, Im sorry….
I dont mean to speak about you in third party form Witsend…its just my use of examples when I refer to you in this post. And I do think whatever way you choose to handle your son – will be the best way and the right way FOR YOU. When you sometimes throw them a curveball they arent expecting with firmness such as Ive looked into legalities of 17 year olds who leave home and I found out I do have rights with regard to choosing not to let you come back because of our prior circumstances – sometimes its just enough to get them to stop pursuing their holier than thouness – and they just get their feathers ruffled enough to go come up with another plan altogether with someone else. Its EXHAUSTING, its frustrating, its crazy no matter which way one turns…just have to plan and choose the best tactic for protecting yourself with a potential dangerous person.
So yes Oxy I agree, better safe than sorry – is the only way Witsend can be going forward.
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one_step_at_a_time says:
i read the article at Time – and the long thread of comments underneath it. Most of it by and in response to a troll. (Sounding a WHOLE lot like the one here yesterday). His posts and others responding to them co opted the discussion. reinforces my appreciation and belief in how we handle unwanted visitors here – ignore them and protect those who might engage.
not saying i won’t ever engage directly – it may happen, but although it may be satisfying it would also be satisfying to the troll. kinda funny, huh?! the power of not engaging: holding our own power to fuel us!
this is helpful to me as i sort through how i will handle the backlash from the spath when she is revealed. i am preparing myself for the backlash from her rainbow array of sock puppets (man, you don’t know HOW hard it is for me not to pepper this post with profanity. argghh!) and there will be disbelief from the people i am contacting.
the people i am contacting – i am taking my time with those letters. being careful. some of these folks will be profoundly affected and do struggle with mental and physical health issues. i care for them, and am trying to figure out if i can be a resource to them in any way – beyond furnishing them with links and ‘proof’ of the spaths identity and activities.
i will not bring them here. that could potentially rain down a plague of locusts (aka the spath in all her spathy manifestations) on this site. not sacrificing this space, nor the people here, nor my own one place where i can be more or less candid. i still shake when i post some things. i still go back and delete. she is very active online, doing her spathy sh*t, and i constantly feel at risk when i reveal new things or pertinent things. sigh.
on a positive note – am on the trail of finding some help with PTSD. The chaplain at the army base made some good suggestions which i am following up on. i will keep looking and asking. i want a facilitated support group. hope i can find one specifically for PTSD.
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OxDrover says:
Dear One-step,
I missed the spathole yesterday, it had been deleted by the time I got back home as I was gone most of the day. When I am home I check in frequently to see if there is anything going on, but missed that one as left home early and got back late afternoon.
You are SO RIGHT about not engaging the spatholes when they come here, and believe me you are no more tempted than I have been. Not so much now, but in the past boy I wanted to BOINK THEM between the eyes. Especially when you sit at your screen and see some newbie engaging them and getting slapped for their trouble.
I’m very very protective of this place as are many others who post here. I doubt not for one minute if word went out that Donna needed 24/7 round the clock body guards there would be an armed battalion of us start for NJ!
As I have become a bit more adept at tagging them early on as potential problem spots I notify Donna as SOON as I think I have them nailed as aggressive. Sometimes I am wrong and think someone who is just in a bunch of pain is a troll, but more times I am right than wrong. Practice does make perfect, and so you treat each one with respect, but don’t give ANY poster 100% absolute trust as being what or who they say they are. Been there and done that and gotten burned. There are people here that I have seen GROW by leaps and bounds over period of time, whose hands I have held, whose heads I have flattened (with love boinks!) and who I am truly proud of and proud for! I trust those people pretty much, but it has grown over time of posting to them and seeing how they respond, i.e. getting to “know” them, yet, I also know that until you have been in real life contact with someone for some time under different and varying circumstances, establishing total trust with them is a dangerous thing to do.
CAUTION is OK. I know that everyone here who trusts me to one extent or another, who “knows” me to one extent or another, I would still CAUTION you before signing the deed to your house over to me…I might not be the sweet wonderful and HUMBLE skillet swinging old bat that you think I am, I might be some jack ass riding con person from Nigeria. (BTW since I AM such a nice old lady please send your checks and money orders to “Old Bat, 123 easy street, Anytown USA”
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kim frederick says:
ROFLMAO.
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hens says:
kimmers be careful rolling on the floor you might not be able to get back up…..~!
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conomo says:
I am stoked … the cops got the guns I was worried about. and I get to testify via video again(not so stoked about that). But I’m doing it…I have to…otherwise…I’ll be stuck forever…I am going to give every and any testimony I can…thank you love fraud bloggers for the information, support and encouragement you all share.
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one_step_at_a_time says:
dear oxy – I seem to have misplaced my check book, could i just forward my bank account number?
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one_step_at_a_time says:
hens – if we could laugh our asses of by rolling on the floor, there would be a beached turtle love fraud brigade!
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ErinBrock says:
Conomo:
This is great….about the guns! Must be a big relief!!!
Do what you have to do to protect yourself and keep safe….
I’m glad you got the gun news!!!!!!!
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ErinBrock says:
I’ve misplaced my banking info…..but the spaths info is
000 7658 78900 Routing number 98299 111 000 0019
In case you need a social to acces the account
it’s 776 56 7908
I’m sure he woulnd’t mind you taking whatever it is you need!
If anyone asks….just say….the BIATCH told you so!
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one_step_at_a_time says:
OMG EB!!!!! :0
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hens says:
onesteppers i was just thinking that ‘laugh you ass off’ we need to make a vidio..but my ass fell off a long time ago, dont know where it went , it used to be a nice bubble butt that looked good in wranglers but now its just flat and saggin – 32 waist no butt – i have nice legs and arms tho – i dont recognize the face, it’s some old man looking back at me in the mirror.
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hens says:
my phone number is br549 please call and be obscene..
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one_step_at_a_time says:
well obviously your butt crawled up to your waist hens. (that’s ‘lady math’)
it’s weird to age isn’t it?! i have aged so much this last year – quite a lot to get used to. i am hoping some of this will reverse when i am out of the toxic environment and some of the stressors come off. (that’s lady talk for fat.
)
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one_step_at_a_time says:
hens!!!
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one_step_at_a_time says:
we need to get oxy to make some bank transfers and some phone calls – i have a cell and a land line she could have soem fun with, and oh…..a half dozen email addresses….f**k THAT would be funny!
i had this fantasy a couple of months ago of the lovefraud team – we would spath and take down each other’s spaths (much less triggering and very satisfying…sort of a pay it forward system.) have found a couple of people interested in joining!
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ErinBrock says:
DEEEELLLEEEETE!
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OxDrover says:
Oh, you guys!!!! Tooooo funny! BTW Henry, that “old person” looking at you in the mirror is not your grandfather haunting your house, it is YOU!!!! Yea, (sigh) I have aged 20 years in the last five (almost six now) since the hubby died, but you know, I’ve decided that getting past the age where every guy is hitting on me is okay….I can now “hit on” all the cute young guys that my son is friends with and none of the guys get mad, they think I am SOOOO CUTE! And sooooo sweet! That’s one thing an old man can’t do that an old lady can!
Oh, tonight I watched Special Victims Unit and they had ANN MARGARET of all people playing this washed up “bleach blonde” and several other “former stars” playing different “former much younger stars” roles and every one of them had BAAAAAAD PLASTIC SURGERY and you could just barely tell who they were (can’t remember their names) and it was TERRIBLE. No matter how they had aged it would have looked BETTER than the PLASTIC FACE the doctors gave them.
Gosh I would rather have all my wrinkles and look like an apple doll than to have my face look like a BARBIE Doll gone BAD!
There is this woman who goes to the auction I go to sometimes and she has platinum hair down to her butt, has had all kinds of “stuff” done, and dresses like a hooker on the stroll and people refer to her as “BOTOX BARBIE” and it fits.
I may be older and wrinkled-er but you know, I earned every one of these LAUGH LINES and ate every pound of chocolate to produce these LOVE HANDLES so I’m happy just like I am.
Ah, natural! I never thought I would see the day that I looked 100 times better than Ann Margaret, but today is IT!
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OxDrover says:
Glad I missed it! Not even curious about what they were posting but hope they didn’t hurt any one’s feelings. They aren’t worth worrying over any more. IGNORE, IGNORE IGNORE!!!!
REPORT TO DONNA! END OF PROBLEM.
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one_step_at_a_time says:
i LOVED ann margaret.
….and on the flintstones!
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ErinBrock says:
BOINK, BOINK, BOINK, BOINK, BOINK, BOINK, BOINK…..
Hold on….I gotta go get the shotgun.
STAND RIGHT THERE!!!
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one_step_at_a_time says:
well hens, he’s just gone out to get cigarettes….
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one_step_at_a_time says:
omg – oxy is making me wheeze AND clap!
I take that back – it’s EBeeeeee!
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one_step_at_a_time says:
you’ve left it with your 30 year old face somewhere…mister april fool’s…..
no more fools here, we be riding toward wisdom!
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one_step_at_a_time says:
would love to have oxy phone the spath today and have her try to sell her something….like empathy.
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one_step_at_a_time says:
not REAL empathy mind you, she wouldn’t know what to do with that.
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hens says:
well chit i thot i had ya convinced lmao
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one_step_at_a_time says:
get off the floor! you have no a** to lose!
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one_step_at_a_time says:
…and EB would take YOU out!
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hens says:
i see my twisted sense of humor is not appreciated tonite..
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