Seems to me you left the “sh%&/*ç@t” part of the experience and reached the fertile grounds where the MANURE is very helpful ! Might you flourish and be prosperous!

Congratulations and celebrations!!!

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I went out with an old friend last night, someone I hadn’t seen in over 30 years.

Although I didn’t mention my experience with the spath, it did intrude on my consciousness from time to time (including my asking a few times, ‘oh, what do you mean by that’? LOL).

On the way home from a really nice evening, I thought about the fact that i feel hopeful about my ability to recalim the deep place that is the fertile ground where the spath planted her seeds. And I wondered why I feel hopeful now, given how despairing I had felt just recently.

And it is because of Lovefraud that I feel hopeful. Because of the people and the knowledge here. This is an outrageously intelligent and ‘with it’ crowd. And a compassionate, by and large, risk taking, writerly, curious, artistic, creative crowd. MY people. duped and healing. f*cking warriors!

I AM GRATEFUL, GRATEFUL, GRATEFUL. THANK YOU; EVERY ONE OF YOU, THANK YOU!

Best,
one step

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I do NOT know why this one list on amozon as so expensive?
However it is worth the 24.95 price in my opinion. As the info I read in this book isn’t stuff I have read in other books.
And I really think it might be helpful in your situation with your niece being so young.

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Thank you for that information about the book!
I saw how expensive it was on Amazon, and I have never paid that much for a book.
So, I was hoping I could find it somewhere for less $$.

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However if you google the title, I found the author has a website and the book can be purchased for 24.95.

Just wanted to make sure that you saw this.

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I think alot of it has to do with television. Almost everyone watches TV to some degree. And almost everyone has seen a dateline show or a 20/20 show that portrays a very “sick” individual who is a pedophile, domestic abuser, serial rapist, child abuser, well you get the picture….And even in many of these severe cases the word sociopath or psychopath is rarely used to describe these individuals.
Occasionally you hear the “word” used in murder cases. And sometimes on shows such as law and order.
Until people can “hear” this disorders NAME over and over again to define these people that are “high profile”
cases that make the TV headliner shows….It is going to be hard for them to ever understand the concept of the “Sociopath Next Door”.

I think most people can swallow this when trying to put a label on a serial killer….But old Joe who lives down the street who abuses his wife and kids (and fits the criteria of an S/P to a tee)…..Well he’s just got a “drinkin” problem.

I think it is even difficult for many to find a counselor or therapist that has GOOD background in these disorders.

I guess that is why so many people educate themselves here at LF.
We really do have our work cut out for us if we want to spread the word.

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Yes, I talk to my Mom everyday about the situation with my brother’s wife. We both love that child very much.
I have given her info. to read from this website, and I have read parts of books to her. So, she understands what a sociopath is. And she knows her DIL is one sick puppy.
Her boyfriend….that’s another story.

I have also given my brother info. to read, but I am not sure how much he has read, if at all. He seems to have moments of clarity, but then he slips back into the FOG again.

And, like I said, my Mom is clueless about her boyfriend.
He proposed marraige during the first 6 weeks of dating, thinks he’s still in high school, gave her a STD, and tried to get her to put all of his Christmas purchases on her credit card, because his credit is no good.
How many red flags do you need?
The guy’s a freaking sociopath.
But, she still thinks he’s sweet.

She almost threw him out once when he moved in with her, which was his ultimate goal. She told him he would have to move back to his place, or it was not going to work out. So, he moved back to his place.

He does not have cable at his place, because he watches TV at my Mom’s house. He loves to watch TV at my Mom’s house, showers there, sleeps there.
I am glad they are not living together, though.
(My eyes are rolling here).
She complained about him to me a few times, and I told her, “He’s showing you who he really is here. Ditch him. His ‘I love you’ talk is bull shit.”
Then, she gets annoyed with me. It’s the classic triangle situation we always talk about.

It is not a coincidence that my family members are attracting these types of personalities, either.
There are traits within my family that make us prime targets for sociopaths.
One example, I was raised to put others before myself. I was told that it is gracious and classy to put others first.
“It shows good character”, I was told.
That’s all well and good, unless you are dealing with a sociopath.

The bottom line is I am the only one in my family who is educating myself on personality disorders and working on my inner landscape, so I do not fall for these types of predators again.

It’s very difficult to get other people to become aware and look inside themselves if they are in denial about whether they even have a problem to begin with.

I will do whatever I can for the child caught in the middle of this mess, and I will leave the rest up to GOD.

~I do not have the book YET. But, I will probably get a gift certificate for Christmas. Anyone who knows me knows I love to read.

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i don’t know your situation, this reply is just to your above post.

one step.

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