Comments on: After the sociopath is gone: Your best life yet! http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/ Wake up to the danger of sociopaths Wed, 08 Feb 2012 07:17:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Cat http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/comment-page-3/#comment-56945 Cat Sun, 06 Dec 2009 17:04:46 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/#comment-56945 Yay!!! Spirit! Good for you! libelle is right, you are super smart. It's a step you took towards self-empowerment as well. And he's not going to like that. Too bad, so sad. Keep doing what you're doing. You really ARE amazing! I would question that "93" deal as well. He might be in the 93rd percentile for control and manipulation, but that's about it. That will get you where? Nowhere, that where, in the end. It's amazing, isn't it, how they can't find a job, can't get off the couch, can't do an "F"ing thing! Yet they know it all and sit there and critique you while their butt is super glued to the couch. I'm wondering how one learns so much by laying on the couch all the time. My ex is a kid too. He acts like one, but frankly, I think the kids are smarter. Can't blame your son for his feelings. I would be the same. Congrats and hugs! Yay!!! Spirit! Good for you! libelle is right, you are super smart. It’s a step you took towards self-empowerment as well. And he’s not going to like that. Too bad, so sad. Keep doing what you’re doing. You really ARE amazing!
I would question that “93″ deal as well. He might be in the 93rd percentile for control and manipulation, but that’s about it. That will get you where? Nowhere, that where, in the end.
It’s amazing, isn’t it, how they can’t find a job, can’t get off the couch, can’t do an “F”ing thing! Yet they know it all and sit there and critique you while their butt is super glued to the couch. I’m wondering how one learns so much by laying on the couch all the time. My ex is a kid too. He acts like one, but frankly, I think the kids are smarter. Can’t blame your son for his feelings. I would be the same.
Congrats and hugs!

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]]> By: libelle http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/comment-page-3/#comment-56943 libelle Sun, 06 Dec 2009 09:53:35 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/#comment-56943 Dear Spirit, I would question the 93th percentile. Who did test him anyway? My father had a IQ-self-test-book and he repeated the test until he obtained the "Genious-score"! He had to outsmart a client who told him that he obtained a "very clever"-score in one test. LOL. X was also a professor in maths but also good enough to show me how to do the dishes HIS way! Soignez les détails! We still have the odd book, and I can send it to you if you need to "prove" that you are "supersmart" as well! (I think frankly you ARE and you do not need such a test as you live up to it). (((Hugs)))! Dear Spirit, I would question the 93th percentile. Who did test him anyway?

My father had a IQ-self-test-book and he repeated the test until he obtained the “Genious-score”! He had to outsmart a client who told him that he obtained a “very clever”-score in one test. LOL. X was also a professor in maths but also good enough to show me how to do the dishes HIS way! Soignez les détails!

We still have the odd book, and I can send it to you if you need to “prove” that you are “supersmart” as well! (I think frankly you ARE and you do not need such a test as you live up to it). (((Hugs)))!

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]]> By: Spirit40 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/comment-page-3/#comment-56942 Spirit40 Sun, 06 Dec 2009 09:16:28 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/#comment-56942 Cat, thank you! for your support...funny mine was 93 in his precentile for being "gifted" I would not call what he has a gift but a curse, yeah he is always smarter than me,did it better too LOL I started to be come curios when my sons friends came over and he was just "hanging out with them" let the kid have fun with his friends , he acted like a big kid ? mind you my son is like WTF ?? is he doing embarrassing me ... what nothing wrong with that.... If your so smart than why dont you use your mind and work at a job...that pays you so you dont live off other people. Oh and the mine did it better always.. everything he had perfected...oh he could "show me how to do the dishes" but could he do them when after all his was just sitting around drinking on my couch...Cat... I feel ya what ever I write here others will understand...hopefully cause right now I am exhausted ...all my hard work paid off got an A on my dev psych paper....woo hoo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Cat, thank you! for your support…funny mine was 93 in his precentile for being “gifted” I would not call what he has a gift but a curse, yeah he is always smarter than me,did it better too LOL I started to be come curios when my sons friends came over and he was just “hanging out with them” let the kid have fun with his friends , he acted like a big kid ? mind you my son is like WTF ?? is he doing embarrassing me … what nothing wrong with that…. If your so smart than why dont you use your mind and work at a job…that pays you so you dont live off other people. Oh and the mine did it better always.. everything he had perfected…oh he could “show me how to do the dishes” but could he do them when after all his was just sitting around drinking on my couch…Cat… I feel ya what ever I write here others will understand…hopefully cause right now I am exhausted …all my hard work paid off got an A on my dev psych paper….woo hoo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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]]> By: Cat http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/comment-page-2/#comment-56905 Cat Sat, 05 Dec 2009 16:01:34 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/#comment-56905 Spirit, I've been calling my ex that for some time now. I should have looked for teeth marks on my neck, except I think I would find more on my heart, in my mind, my psyche, anywhere he struck. I told mine the same and he hated it as well. What you did in the car was bust him and he didn't like it. I know mine wasn't sorry for what he had done; he was just sorry he had been busted. You are amazing. That you could go to college and get those kinds of grade with him around is incredible. Whenever I did something, no matter what it was, mine did it better and I was stupid, or so he thought. (Go give birth, buddy.) It's just another con game. I didn't know I had nice neighbors until he left. I'm finding out I really can live without a man in the house to do a lot of things. I'm learning to do them myself. I'm not stupid either. Life is a lot better than it was. I say thank you for this site every day. Whatever I say here, others will understand. Spirit,
I’ve been calling my ex that for some time now. I should have looked for teeth marks on my neck, except I think I would find more on my heart, in my mind, my psyche, anywhere he struck. I told mine the same and he hated it as well. What you did in the car was bust him and he didn’t like it. I know mine wasn’t sorry for what he had done; he was just sorry he had been busted.
You are amazing. That you could go to college and get those kinds of grade with him around is incredible. Whenever I did something, no matter what it was, mine did it better and I was stupid, or so he thought. (Go give birth, buddy.) It’s just another con game. I didn’t know I had nice neighbors until he left. I’m finding out I really can live without a man in the house to do a lot of things. I’m learning to do them myself. I’m not stupid either. Life is a lot better than it was.
I say thank you for this site every day. Whatever I say here, others will understand.

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]]> By: OxDrover http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/comment-page-2/#comment-56856 OxDrover Fri, 04 Dec 2009 17:11:05 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/#comment-56856 Dear Amber, thank you, and you are NOT the only one who feels or thinks this way---that is why we are here because others DO understand our experience. Spirit, yep, they do NOT like being found out. In the movie, I psychopath" Sam Vaknin got all upset when the interviewer started to expose his FAKE PhD. Even though he had earlier on film admitted that his PhD was faked and that he had not had to go through a REAL PhD program, and laughed, onn the film he still was MAD at being exposed as a FAKE "dr." LOL They don't make any sense do they?! LOL Dear Amber, thank you, and you are NOT the only one who feels or thinks this way—that is why we are here because others DO understand our experience.

Spirit, yep, they do NOT like being found out. In the movie, I psychopath” Sam Vaknin got all upset when the interviewer started to expose his FAKE PhD. Even though he had earlier on film admitted that his PhD was faked and that he had not had to go through a REAL PhD program, and laughed, onn the film he still was MAD at being exposed as a FAKE “dr.” LOL

They don’t make any sense do they?! LOL

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]]> By: Spirit40 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/comment-page-2/#comment-56849 Spirit40 Fri, 04 Dec 2009 11:43:14 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/#comment-56849 Cat, I agree with your statement "I call them spiritual vampires. They take our energy, time, money, our soul if we let them. They drain us dry and then when they’ve taken it all, they look elsewhere. I told him, to his face at one point, that I saw this and understood it. He HATED that. It was truth, his truth and he didn’t like being found out. He wasn’t sorry by any means that he had done all of this. He was sorry someone had pegged him. I got that too. Its scary one day on our way to therapy.... I told him I was going to bring up my concerns, he yelled at me at the top of his lungs... the whole ride there and while in there.... I cried I couldnt get a word in ...he was "found out". He became extremely jealous of my going to school(college) he always wanted me to ask for his "help" with my homework and even if I brought home an A or a B ... (living with his BS mind you) I did not "deserve it" cause he is gifted and I am stoopid.... yes I told him I am stoopid for ever loving someone like "you". I dont remember who posted it but they do see the "light" in us and try desperately to steal it for themselves, totally empty though...they try but can't so they move on and idealize someone else, Oh he has so many "friends" and I supposedly only have one.... I would rather have my 3 or 4 best friends I have known since kindergarten and a couple from my early twenties then a bunch of friends that I con or a (narc supply),do not put up with the bs for long....... Cat, I agree with your statement “I call them spiritual vampires. They take our energy, time, money, our soul if we let them. They drain us dry and then when they’ve taken it all, they look elsewhere. I told him, to his face at one point, that I saw this and understood it. He HATED that. It was truth, his truth and he didn’t like being found out. He wasn’t sorry by any means that he had done all of this. He was sorry someone had pegged him. I got that too.

Its scary one day on our way to therapy…. I told him I was going to bring up my concerns, he yelled at me at the top of his lungs… the whole ride there and while in there…. I cried I couldnt get a word in …he was “found out”. He became extremely jealous of my going to school(college) he always wanted me to ask for his “help” with my homework and even if I brought home an A or a B … (living with his BS mind you) I did not “deserve it” cause he is gifted and I am stoopid…. yes I told him I am stoopid for ever loving someone like “you”.
I dont remember who posted it but they do see the “light” in us and try desperately to steal it for themselves, totally empty though…they try but can’t so they move on and idealize someone else, Oh he has so many “friends” and I supposedly only have one…. I would rather have my 3 or 4 best friends I have known since kindergarten and a couple from my early twenties then a bunch of friends that I con or a (narc supply),do not put up with the bs for long…….

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]]> By: amber http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/comment-page-2/#comment-56847 amber Fri, 04 Dec 2009 05:13:51 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/#comment-56847 Opps...the last paragraph was yours Ox and I meant to have it was supposed to be at the top with the rest of it...anyway..thanks again for writing exactly how I feel. Opps…the last paragraph was yours Ox and I meant to have it was supposed to be at the top with the rest of it…anyway..thanks again for writing exactly how I feel.

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]]> By: amber http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/comment-page-2/#comment-56846 amber Fri, 04 Dec 2009 05:11:09 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/#comment-56846 Oxy...in reading your above posts.... "But I do NOT feel sad for them, because in spite of the genetic propensity and maybe some environmental kick in that direction, THEY HAVE CHOICES just like we do, and they KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG, they just don’t care." "So in the end, they choose to do this, knowing full well what they are doing, enjoying the glee they feel lfrom a successful accomplishment for them of “winning” in the games they play. Just as an “insane” person is out of touch with reality and cannot know the difference between what is and what they imagine or see or hear (that no one else can see or hear) the morally insane are out of touch with morality and cannot see that right, fair or just is anything but a loosing proposition, they want what they want right now, and don’t care who it hurts, or at worst, they ENJOY HURTING others." AMEN!!! AMEN!!! AMEN!!!! It's like you steal the thoughts right out of my head. Thank you for sharing what I can't seem to write as intelligently as you do. I too believe moral insanity is the best definition. When I first started doing research and found these terms were interchangable, it was like a light bulb went off. Morally corrupt/insane. PERIOD. Sums it up in a nuttshell. I would tell my ex OVER AND OVER. You KNOW the difference between right and wrong. You have free will to make those CHOICES. And choosing to do WRONG again and again, just for your own satisfaction, proves that you have no soul or conscious. Thank you for summing up exactly my thoughts and feelings. Such a relief that others think the same way I do. Such a sense of comfort for me. One of the first terms used to “name” what we call “psychopathy” was “moral insanity” and personally I think it fits the best of all, they are MORALLY INSANE, they have NO connection to morality or respect for right, good, just, or fair. If that is not moral insanity I don’t know what is. Oxy…in reading your above posts….

“But I do NOT feel sad for them, because in spite of the genetic propensity and maybe some environmental kick in that direction, THEY HAVE CHOICES just like we do, and they KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG, they just don’t care.”

“So in the end, they choose to do this, knowing full well what they are doing, enjoying the glee they feel lfrom a successful accomplishment for them of “winning” in the games they play.
Just as an “insane” person is out of touch with reality and cannot know the difference between what is and what they imagine or see or hear (that no one else can see or hear) the morally insane are out of touch with morality and cannot see that right, fair or just is anything but a loosing proposition, they want what they want right now, and don’t care who it hurts, or at worst, they ENJOY HURTING others.”

AMEN!!! AMEN!!! AMEN!!!! It’s like you steal the thoughts right out of my head. Thank you for sharing what I can’t seem to write as intelligently as you do. I too believe moral insanity is the best definition. When I first started doing research and found these terms were interchangable, it was like a light bulb went off. Morally corrupt/insane. PERIOD. Sums it up in a nuttshell.

I would tell my ex OVER AND OVER. You KNOW the difference between right and wrong. You have free will to make those CHOICES. And choosing to do WRONG again and again, just for your own satisfaction, proves that you have no soul or conscious.
Thank you for summing up exactly my thoughts and feelings. Such a relief that others think the same way I do. Such a sense of comfort for me.

One of the first terms used to “name” what we call “psychopathy” was “moral insanity” and personally I think it fits the best of all, they are MORALLY INSANE, they have NO connection to morality or respect for right, good, just, or fair. If that is not moral insanity I don’t know what is.

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]]> By: henry http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/comment-page-2/#comment-56845 henry Fri, 04 Dec 2009 05:08:04 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/#comment-56845 But they are so convincing at being hurt, at being sorry..Oh those tear's and the pity....I will never forget it. But they are so convincing at being hurt, at being sorry..Oh those tear’s and the pity….I will never forget it.

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]]> By: OxDrover http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/comment-page-2/#comment-56841 OxDrover Fri, 04 Dec 2009 02:48:41 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/11/26/after-the-sociopath-is-gone-your-best-life-yet/#comment-56841 One of the first terms used to "name" what we call "psychopathy" was "moral insanity" and personally I think it fits the best of all, they are MORALLY INSANE, they have NO connection to morality or respect for right, good, just, or fair. If that is not moral insanity I don't know what is. Just as an "insane" person is out of touch with reality and cannot know the difference between what is and what they imagine or see or hear (that no one else can see or hear) the morally insane are out of touch with morality and cannot see that right, fair or just is anything but a loosing proposition, they want what they want right now, and don't care who it hurts, or at worst, they ENJOY HURTING others. At best they don't care if you or anyone else suffers, and yes that must be an empty life. No matter what they get that they think will "make them happy" it never seems to do so for long. One of the first terms used to “name” what we call “psychopathy” was “moral insanity” and personally I think it fits the best of all, they are MORALLY INSANE, they have NO connection to morality or respect for right, good, just, or fair. If that is not moral insanity I don’t know what is.

Just as an “insane” person is out of touch with reality and cannot know the difference between what is and what they imagine or see or hear (that no one else can see or hear) the morally insane are out of touch with morality and cannot see that right, fair or just is anything but a loosing proposition, they want what they want right now, and don’t care who it hurts, or at worst, they ENJOY HURTING others.

At best they don’t care if you or anyone else suffers, and yes that must be an empty life. No matter what they get that they think will “make them happy” it never seems to do so for long.

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