BOINK!@ BOINK! I told you that you were a baaaaad boy! BOINK!!!

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Okay, Henry is out of line…what are we going to do about it? LOL! Actually, your comment was funny in a rather distasteful kind of way. I’m up for letting you get away with it if everyone else is. We’ll find a way to make you pay sooner or later! LOL!

Gosh, darn, folks! Can you tell that I’m in GREAT spirits tonight? And, no I haven’t had any “spirits”, either, just my vitamins!

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I am so glad I didn’t have to get the cyber “shot gun” out, I was afraid the skillet wasn’t going to do the job! I am glad, too that I didn’t pith you off, cause all of my “preaching” was cause I luvs ya gal!

I just want to straighten out one more thing, though, you talk about your first “alcoholic” husband, it was NOT THE ALCOHOL that made him beat you—it wasn’t the “addiction” that was the problem IT WAS HIS CHOICES—my Uncle Monoster beat his wife and kids brutally, held them at gun point for days, did his mother that way too, but he was “soooo sweet” when he was sober—the thing I have come to understand is that ALCOHOLISM is an “excuse” for being a psychopath drunk when you would like to be one sober but don’t have the balls to be one when you are sober.

Alcohol DIS inhibits the social controls we have. When I have been drunk (very rarely and decades ago) I am the cutest little thing you ever saw, I SING and DANCE and think I can entertain the world. I would love to be able to SING and able to DANCE but I sound like a cat with her tail under a rocking chair when I sing, and I dance like a one legged man!

Alcohol however dis-inhibits me so I THINK I CAN DANCE. The alcoholic or the drunk is WHAT THEY WOULD LIKE TO BE SOBER—sober i would LIKE TO SING AND DANCE but I know I can’t so I don’t, but alcohol lets me dis-inhibit my inhibitions and my good sense to know I can’t do either.

Same with MEAN BEHAVIOR—if you want “courage” to be an abusive ASS then alcohol will give it to you.

Saying he was a nice guy when he was sober is like saying “he is a nice guy when he is not robbing banks or killing people”—no one, even Ted Bundy was killing people 24/7 or raping people, sometimes they “act nice” but they ARE BAD.

I don’t[ blame you for “hating” Biddy’s husband, and I KNOW you aren’t mad at her for taking him, remember when I told you she is yourT FRIEND and you should send her a THANK YOU card for “taking” him away from you. SHE DID YOU A FAVOR SWEETIE and you and I both know that!

You are a sweet sweet woman, but you need to take a lesson from Granny Oxy and quit giving EVERYONE IN THE WORLD the freaking BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT!!!!

Now you quit it right this minute, as I used to say to my kids, DON’T MAKE ME STOP THIS CAR! LOL ((((HUGS)))) AND ALWAYS MY PRAYERS FOR YOU! Good for you for having a TAMI DAY, and from now on December first is TAMI DAY!

I suspect that Biddy will come back from time to time, and I just suggest NC and all that entails, you know the routine! Personally, I think they ahve the perfect marriage! For them!
‘

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We can’t come up with anything??? Lol..

WE BETTER stay with this group! We can’t even come up with a name.

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I appreciate your story. It really is very helpful to hear encouragement.

Speaking of courage–I wanted to tell a story about my mother’s lack of courage and how I am repeating her actions almost the same.

My father was explosive, verbally abusive, had affairs, treated her like a doormat. My early childhood memory was that I was so scared “my parents would get divorced”, seeing my mother run out the door crying after him, “don’t leave!” acting like a helpless victim.

When I was an adult I came home and found the house in disorder and mom’s slippers strewn about the house. It looked wrong. She called to say she was spending the night at the military headquarters (dad was an officer) because he had hit her and she went to file a complaint. I felt good for her. I hated his guts and also feared him. I was rooting for her to leave the bastard.

Then, I see him the next day pleading with her, convincing her not to leave him, and she totally fell for it. Later, after I left home, during the hardship of war, mom hinted that he was a monster to her rather than sticking together through a hard time. Bastard.

And me? It seems I married the same man, except the affairs. He is charismatic, life of the party, everyone thinks he’s charming. He tried pleading to get back together. He tried intimidation and threats and aggreession. I have protected myself by taking steps to keep him away.

But I hate myself for being weak like my mother. Not just saying “Hit the road Jack, don’t you come back no more!” Why can’t I say that?

I still have a couples therapy appt. next week. Deep down I know I am wasting my time and my life, but I can’t bring myself to just cut it off and be done. I am waiting for some definitive proof or knowledge that it’s the right thing. Or afraid of the abyss of the unknown and relying on myself. Or both.

I have not erased the old “programming” that he is my friend or protector or family, thus the belief that I need him.

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I got up off my rear today, went to the health food store, got my nails done and a great new hair style! I gave myself a Tami day instead of a BIDDY day! And, I loved it!!!

I do have to disagree with you in a couple of areas: I REALLY don’t care that she broke up my marriage or stole my husband as you put it…I KNOW that’s the greatest thing that could have ever happened! And, if you knew me as a person, you would understand that I’ve never truly ever hated anyone but I do hate him and that sort of bugs me. I honestly wouldn’t care if the man feel over dead tomorrow! I’ve NEVER felt that way about ANYONE and it makes me feel a bit badly about myself. I was married once before to a very abusive alcholic…he beat me for a sport but I could never bring myself to hate him. He cheated on me repeatedly, too, and I knew it but I was afraid to leave him because he told me that he’d kill me and I believed him But I NEVER hated him and when he died, I grieved for all that he could have been if only he could have stopped drinking. Alcohol turned him into someone that I didn’t know. That’s when he cheated and that’s when he beat. Otherwise, you couldn’t ask for a better person. He just could NOT get his addiction to alcohol under control. So, I’m a fairly forgiving person. He was an abuser and he disrespected me badly but still yet, he wasn’t deceitful…I KNEW exactly what I had on my hands.

I think that’s why I feel SO much disgust and hatred toward my ex that is now with Biddy. The deceit! But, you’re right…three’s a crowd and I want out of the triangle. I’m going to block her from my facebook and myspace accounts. I’ll just have to ignore any emails I receive from her because my email account is associated with a lot of business connections. She’ll eventually give up and go away if I continue to ignore…I hope!

Thanks for your brutal honestly OxDrover…that’s exactly how I am when I’m trying to make a point. You made yours. I’ve been such an IDIOT! But, then again, haven’t we all at some point in our lives?

Witsend…your name itself suggests that you are capable of answering your own posts so don’t worry about it. We all do strange things when we reach our wits end! LOL!

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