Imagine that someone is mad at you, or, maybe just wants to coerce you into doing something, so they file a false police report, making something up, like that you wrote something threatening on a website a year ago (when you NEVER did such a thing at all, in fact, maybe never posted ANYTHING!). They cut and paste, insert some “threatening” language that was never on the actual site, print it up, and go to the police and claim to be threatened. The police believe that person, and get a judge to sign off on a warrant against you and your spouse. You get hauled off to jail, spend 24 hours before you can get released, and then, the next business day that the D.A. has, he looks at it and dismisses it because the charges were clearly, blatantly, FALSE.

Do you have recourse? Maybe. However, the police almost NEVER charge someone with a false report. They have the attitude that “hey, the charges were dismissed, what’s your gripe?” Then the person goes to another county, and does it AGAIN, and AGAIN. Never any penalties. Sue them? Sure, but that person has no resources (at least that you can find!), and, guess what the police did nothing wrong because they followed that person’s affidavit!

This is what I have been living. Talking to people, the problem is widespread. In my case, she files police reports, administrative actions with licensing boards, and court cases, against multiple people, but others do this to varying degrees. We need to change the laws. I need your help.

We are a group of citizens interested in the creation of laws at the Federal and State level to curtail vexatious litigants, classifying them as such, creating a national database such that those that repeatedly file false police reports, abuse the judicial system, or administrative procedures by multiple false reports, pleadings, etc., could be flagged before great resources are wasted on them. The idea, essentially, is to classify them so any future filings/reports receive greater scrutiny before being accepted at face value. It would NOT prevent any person from filing or reporting, it would just let authorities know that they are dealing with a person that has actually been found to have initiated false reports multiple times in the past.

The focus would be judicial economy and would actually afford those with legitimate concerns better access to the courts, prevent waste of resources and help prevent abuse of process, etc. It would also help true victims, who today cannot get help due to the resources being wasted on people just playing the system.

Congressman Cohen’s office (D-Tennessee) is interested. We need a lot more. Spread the word, please! Started the following on facebook also, so please join and get the word out. We can fix the system to help people. This is not partisan, as we all are equally impacted.

http://www.facebook.com/group......038;ref=mf

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You do NOT have to “endure screaming fits” and if he is screaming he wants a 500$ gift you cannot afford, that is not a “gift” he wants but BLACKMAIL of “give me what I want, no matter if you can afford it or not or I will PUNISH YOU.”

I know it is difficult, but just CALMLY walk away. DO NOT be black mailed into buying him something you can’t afford.

EVen driving him to school won’t keep him from associating with bad “influences” if he wants to…and “hinting” that he wants to quit pot is not quitting. Pot is not “addictive” like crack though it has some addictive qualities, but stopping smoking pot is simply making up his mind to do so–he either does or does not. Period. Don’t let him play you with his “intentions” to get “clean”—that’s a load of crap.

Hang in there, your home doesn’t have to be a war zone….I lived in one and I know how it is with kids, especially teenagers, but I would sure do things differently now. Set some boundaries and stick to them. Good luck, and hang in there it won’t be accomplished in one day! (((hugs))))

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Believe me……I told you, YOUR in charge of YOUR CASE…..don’t drive your attorney away asking for parenting advice…..
I know you feel your hands are tied, but your going to have to make your own decisions, or it’s gonna cost you a bundle.
I wrestled with this do I tell the attorney or not…..I went into the divorce/custody deal thinking I was a team with attorney…..they don’t want to be a team, leave the legal shit up to her and you have to make your own decisions each step of the way.

My advice would be …….if the child is safe with G. mother…..drop it……you are going to lose some battles…..let it go……take your time with your child and as long as child is cared for….be thankful for that.

Neither one, will follow through once the ‘battle’ is over. Once the process is through…..they will both drop off…..once he see’s he has no control over you……he’ll move on.
Mostly they go for a sprint…..not the mile…..and your only a 1/4 of the way around the track.

Mine is staging another attack……my kids are much older…..but still minors…….I am plotting my strategy and awareness is key for me…..

Hang in there…..

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Thanks for keeping up with me.

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Look, take a deep breath, and calm down. (read the other post I wrote you)

Now, look, this is SMALL POTATOES.

You knew he would throw as MANY WRENCHES INTO THEIS AS HE IS ABLE….that is a given. he wants to inconvenience you as MUCH AS POSSIBLE. You are allowing that to happen by becoming upset.

We KNOW he is not going to be willingly “reasonable.”

Don’t worry about these “holidays” in the big scheme of things you can have the “holiday” on any day you are with your son and he won’t know the difference ifyou celebrate christmas on January 10th or December 25th.

I’m not sure how you can be sure where he takes your son, or drops him off with his mother and I think he has a right to do that as long as it is “his time” so I think you need to just quit thinking about that or worrying about that.

As far as the “driving all the way” I would NOT do that if you think you can get by with sending him an e mail and saying “I will meet you at the half way point between x and y, which is Z. Then go there, give him a half hour to show up, take a photograph (dated and time stamped) of the area with your car and child in the picture, and then leave if he is not there within a half hour of the agreed upon time or if he refuses to go, I would still go there and take the photograph, proving of course that YOU ARE BEING REASONABLE.

Keep a copy of the e mail (hard copy as well) and that way you can prove what was said, and done. I know that is a pain in the ass and so on, but my suggestion, but YOU must make the decisons and STOP LETTING THIS CREEP UPSET YOU, you have to keep your head. You KNOW he is going to be as much of a pain in the butt as possible! EXPECT IT. That’s what they do, so don’t let anything he does suprise you. (((hugs))))

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BTW he gets our son three weekends in a row because of christmas and NY’s being on weekends.
He also gets him on the eves.
HE NEVER HAD THESE DAYS OFF SINCE I MET HIM, AND I HAVE FOUR HOUR FIRST REFUSAL.
HOW CAN I FIND OUT WHETHER HE IS REALLY OF WITH MY SON OR SENDING HIM TO HIS MOTHER WHEN OUR SON’S MOTHER (I) AND COMPLETELY AVAIALABLE AND HE KNOWS IT BECAUSE I AM A TEACHER!!!!!

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Here is the short end of what came about at the hearing that was heald with just the attorneys…OH BTW his attorney wrote a letter to the court explaining that S/P was in the ER over night… I asked my attorney to present the text messages he sent me saying he was just goin in that morning….DO THEY CARE ABOUT HIS ABUNDANT LIES?

From MY ATTORNEY…
The gist of it is that the court postponed your motion that we brought for now and ordered that we try to settle the case if possible (since the court knows you were close to settling at one point and the court hates dealing with domestic issues).
In the meantime, the Judge will sign a temporary order that says that at your exchanges, the party who is dropping off will go to the others car with your son. The person picking up will stay in the car and not say anything. Neither of you are to speak. If either of you do, a protective order can be sought for violating the court order. Exchanges will stay at the Stewarts. The law guardian and the court didn’t want it at police station due to there not being one convenient station for both of you that was in a safe neighborhood . I argued adamantly that it should be at police station but was overruled.
Instead of talking to each other at exchanges, you are to keep one journal that you give to each other each time you exchange your son. It will include any pertinent info (what he may have ate, his health, doctors appointments, etc.). The order will also indicate that there shall be no contact between you unless it pertains to Nyour son’s health, child care or exchanges.
Last, the law guardian and the court want the two of you to attend parenting classes which I will send you the info later. This encourages positive communication.
WE DONT COMMUNICATE WHAT DON”T THEY UNDERSTAND ABOUT LIARS?

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You will never live up to his parenting expectations, because he doesn’t really have any. His only expectations are to watch you wiggle…..and defend and keep you off balance.

You can’t try to ‘co-parent’ with him. Yes….do the minimal to keep him informed of health and wellbeing…..but no more.
Is the mediator really expecting you BOTH to have the opportunity to be present at the well baby checks?
If so…..nix that in the orders!

My attorney made it VERY CLEAR, that ‘these two can NOT co parent, it’s IMPOSSIBLE”. She said…..the mother has always provided medical care/education and nurturing to the children. It is in the best interest of the children to have it remain this way. (ofcourse my kids are much older)….
After he offered to BUY my kids from me for 80K….just prior to the last hearing…..the deal was sealed! I would think this was an unusual situation that was DOCUMENTED in a letter of offer of settlement VIA his ATTORNEY. I don’t believe Attorneys as a whole would memorialize this on paper! The judge was mortified!

Keep your focus on what is in the best interest of your baby, then you……HE can worry about HIM.
I assure you, if you ‘play’ it right…..he will get bored and sick of it and move along. BUT…..you have ‘play’ along, YOU MAKE THE RULES!
Congrats on your growth…..with each encounter you will become more and more empowered and it will take you through the next battle. Don’t ever forget what you have learned, how he reacted, and how changing YOU has helped the ’cause and effect’ of how HE reacts to YOU.
Shake it up…..and he won’t know what hit him.
Good luck!

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Remember, you are the driver and in control of YOUR case…..your attorney may want to bargain your assets away…..it’s always your last word. Never give your power away! Seek guidance, respect what your told……but make your own decisions!

Hope this helps….I have lived and learned and this is what worked for me.

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