And I am very glad that I have not made any contact.. this time last year we were having a fairly good time, with the holidays approaching.. so you know how you think back to the previous year and recall.. but I am taking care of me..
And sure, I know all men aren’t fools.. but and I sample from all pools … they sure seem alot alike.. it is going to take a very special man to get my attention..

I was infiltrated by a charismatic sociopath.. …cool, calm, with a level of sophistication that used ’spirituality’ as his mantel…
I blocked all his attempts to really infiltrate and he gave it his all… Ne didn’t con me out of any money… I just did things differently had he not been in my life…
I feel that I was the winner.. but my interaction with him has made me very cautious and I was cautious before.. If there is ever a man in my life, God will need to place him there.
I actually am proud of the way that I held out.. I sensed something wrong and I reserved myself. And I was correct..
He has shallow emotions and is out for his own agenda…
And while he was trying to snow me.. I was always taking care of myself…I recall, towards the end, the way that he would watch me.. like he was trying to figure out his next move..

This site has been great reading about others experiences to further identify what I was seeing and feeling and didn’t quite get. And now, I do.

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LOL “TOWANDA!” is a line from Fried Green tomatoes when one of the character’s parking place is grabbed by some kids who slide in an then laugh at her. she backs up her car and slams into their car and says that word like a BATTLE CRY and then explains that she has better insurance! LOL

I can’t remember who started using it here but it is sort of a “LF Tradition” now as our battle cry when we have succeeded in doing something great! it is the LF “High Five” LOL

Well, I disagree with you about “all” men being fools, just like women, only some of them. Maybe where ever you are meeting these men they might be all fools in that POND so maybe you ought to cast your line in another POOL if the fish in that one are all slime bags.

I know one thing, after our encounters with Ps both of my single sons and I are pretty picky about who we even “look at” as a potential date, much less a mate!

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I think I just have a certain look… that ‘they’ like…

but I am always underestimated as to my intelligence and common sense..
I am losing all respect for men… they are fools..

and it is when we are down on ourselves, feeling lost, insecure, or distracted that they pounce…
I was distracted when I met that guy that sucked me in for awhile… if I met him today .. I would not be attracted at all..

I am the prize and they need to show me who that they are …

and this age thing. ladies… a woman that takes care of herself.. is far more attractive than most older men…
I have many younger men after me.. and I have gone that route before and may again.. older men are lethally needy and a drag

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TOWANDA for you GF!!!!

Yea, one of the things these guys like is a “trophy” whether it is money, style, beauty or whatever it is that they are after. It is all about you as a possession and they will POUNCE like a cat with a cornered mouse.

I’m glad you didn’t let that guy burn you too badly! Many of us get emotionally “love bombed” then JUST BOMBED! LOL

Looking back (hindsight is always 20:20 LOL) I can see that my P was just a cheat who had been caught by his X wife who kicked his sorry butt out and he was looking for another respectable wife to cheat on! LOL but at the time, and especially as a 57 year old widow, I was RIPE FOR THE PICKING, felt needy and lonely and unsure of myself ever having another relationship. It is a fact that women over 50 are not exactly prime meat on the marriage market LOL BUT I also realize that if we set our sights LOW ENOUGH we could all be married tonight. Just trot on down to the local REscue Mission and pick us out our very on WINO and take him home! and “Hug him and kiss him and call him my very own” (that’s a line from the old cartoons when I was a kid) LOL

If I ever do have another relationship it will be a GOOD one, or NONE IS BETTER THAN A BAD ONE! LOL

Keep those defenses up and use caution and good sense. I’m glad you are self protective! (((hugs))))

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I don’t know how long you have been away from the X in terms of healing and/or time, or exactly how badly you were burned, but when anyone has had ANY amount of SIGNIFICANT STRESS from 12 months to 18 months is a good time (to think about in terms of calendar time) AT LEAST before making any SIGNIFICANT CHANGES in your life that are NOT ESSENTIAL. Not a good time to move house unless you have to, or change jobs, etc. and so a significant change would be a new relationship.

I think your noticing the RED FLAG of “too quick dude!” is a good thing, but I suggest that you wait a while and get comfortable with yourself if you aren’t already before you even look for another “relationship.”

Usually people who’ve had a romantic relationship with a P that wasn’t shorter than 1 date need some time to sort things out. Noticing those “too quick” flags is a definite good start so GOOD for you!!!! Not everyone does but many of us (includign me) got into a relationship too quickly and there is a NEON sign I think on our foreheads that must read “OVER HERE, PICK ME!” that only psychopaths can see! When we are wounded we are most vulnerable. I picked a P 8 months after my husband’s death. I knew better than to get into a relationshp that quickly, but I made excuses for doing it. Within 4 months I was crying all the time because of how he treated me, took me another 4 months to kick him to the curb, but on top of everything else, that re-traumatized me AGAIN.

Men aren’t knocking down my door out here in the boonies at the end of a long drive, but I did have a couple of dates a couple of months ago, but I am quite comfortable with ME now and realize I don’t need someone else to make me WHOLE. I’m getting pretty picky about who I will even go out with or consider. Ps need NOT apply to even be my “friend” much less a relationship! (((hugs))))

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