Comments on: After the sociopath is gone: Good-bye lie. Welcome truth.

By: ElizabethBennett

ElizabethBennett — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 15:36:11 +0000

Big 2nd interview and stomach flu-this is going to be a disaster!

By: skylar

skylar — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 15:19:05 +0000

One Joy,
Yep, I heard it from 3 different spaths:
My gay frienemy said, “Skylar, everybody uses everybody. I use you, you use me, Spath uses you and you use him…blah, blah, blah”

My spath husband-stealing-neighbor said, “Skylar, everybody lies.”

My spath sister said, “Skylar, everybody is evil. I’m evil, you’re evil, Trojan Horse is evil, Spath is evil. Everyone is evil – except mom”

Actually, she was right about that except for I’m NOT evil and Mom IS evil.

So yes, they do think everyone is like them and you know what? They are not too far off. Most people are evil or easily capable of it. But there are some of us who are different.

When I left the spath, I was talking to my mother about spath sister’s and spath brother’s envy. My mother said, “so do you mean to say that you’re the only one who -?” then she cut herself off and walked out of the room. She really never knew who I was. But she does now.

(Report abusive comment)

By: one/joy_step_at_a_time

one/joy_step_at_a_time — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:02:00 +0000

if we project on them, then the odds are that they project their mindset onto us.

(Report abusive comment)

By: one/joy_step_at_a_time

one/joy_step_at_a_time — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:01:32 +0000

hopeforjoy said: ‘It was all about the facade, his reputation was so important to him. ‘ hmmmmm, maybe this is why the spath thought she had something on me that would get me fired and used that against me. she didn’t realize i didn’t have a mask.

(Report abusive comment)

By: ErinBrock

ErinBrock — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 04:33:47 +0000

Katy;
AMEN SISTA!!!

I am experiencing those joyful possibilities that would never have been……as we speak!

It’s a bit mind boggleing really! But i’m embracing it!

(Report abusive comment)

By: coping

coping — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 04:20:15 +0000

Amen!! Maybe?? . If we are lucky.
Goodnight!

(Report abusive comment)

By: KatyDid

KatyDid — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 04:01:48 +0000

I’d like to add on to the final sentence b/c the last sentence is the logic that I hold on to in my darkest moments… with the added caveat….

….the only way to say goodbye to what never was, is to accept it will never be, and most importantly…to recognize that the future is full of more joyful possibilities that would NEVER have been with him.

(Report abusive comment)

By: coping

coping — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 01:22:09 +0000

Beautiful article! M.L ‘s articles are great. Goodbye is forever. We are free. They were never real.. Only figments of our imagination!! Time can and will heal us. It’s scary and loney but so worth it! It ultimately has to be….

(Report abusive comment)

By: Hopeforjoy

Hopeforjoy — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 16:42:15 +0000

Skylar,

I understand this statement really well: There is only one thing that spaths value EVEN MORE THAN THEIR OWN LIVES: THEIR FACADE.

It was all about the facade, his reputation was so important to him.

(Report abusive comment)

By: superkid10

superkid10 — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 16:28:18 +0000

Babe, Skylar

Wow, very interesting conversation. Skylar I think there is a lot of truth in what you just said about the “beard”.

My spath lives with his ex-wife. I struggle with why. Perhaps providing “cover”. She’s also built in “entertainment”. And she gets chores done.

I too was a “beard”. He introduced me to his colleagues as his “wife” when I was not. He studied his clothing choices extensively. He said his greatest fear was standing out, looking different, being humiliated.

He loved to go in public with me. I was “cover”.

Then when something else grabbed his attention, poof, I didn’t matter, cuz there was no real connection. I loved him but he didn’t love me back.

(Report abusive comment)