Exposing the sociopath
PDF Last week Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader:
I would like to expose the person who bilked me for thousands of dollars. I am going to file a claim in small claims court so there will be some public record, but I thought about having a web site that would be linked when someone Googled his name. Is this legal? If I tell only the truth about him, is that legal? I want to protect other women from this sociopath; I don’t know how. I thought if people were able to Google his name and know about his lies and deceit, they could have the knowledge I never did and could make better choices than me. Any and all information would be helpful.
Many people have asked the same question—can I expose the sociopath? Unfortunately, there is no easy answer. Several different laws apply, and the laws have been interpreted differently by various courts. Here’s a brief overview of the situation regarding U.S. law.
Lawsuit for anything
First of all, there are two types of law in the United States: criminal law and civil law.
It is unlikely that you would be arrested, or end up in jail, for exposing the actions of a sociopath. Although in some states libel is on the books as a criminal offense, it is rarely prosecuted.
However, under civil law in the United States, anybody can sue for anything. Whether the person who files a lawsuit actually wins is another issue—it depends on whether it can be proven that an actual law was broken.
But here’s what you have to keep in mind: If you expose the sociopath, and the sociopath files a lawsuit against you, you will have to defend yourself whether the lawsuit has merit or not. There’s a good chance that you’ll have to retain an attorney, which is going to cost you money.
Some sociopaths love to file lawsuits. And, as we’ve discussed many times here on Lovefraud, they’re experts at manipulating the legal system. Therefore, you should ask yourself these questions:
- Is this sociopath prone to filing lawsuits?
- Does the sociopath have the resources to hire an attorney?
- Do you have the resources to defend yourself if the sociopath takes you to court?
Suppose you’ve considered these questions and you want to move ahead with exposing the sociopath. You’ll want to maximize the chances that you’ll win a lawsuit if the sociopath files one. For that, you’ll need a basic understanding of media law.
Media law
There are two basic types of law to consider when exposing a sociopath. They are:
- Defamation, which includes libel and slander
- Invasion of privacy
Libel is publication of false information that injures a living person’s reputation. (Libel refers to statements or pictures that are published. Slander refers to false statements that are spoken.)
Invasion of privacy is the publication of information, even if it is true, that is highly offensive to an ordinary person.
We’ll take a closer look at both of these types of claims. However, keep in mind that the information presented here is general. Every state in the U.S. has its own libel and invasion of privacy laws—it’s best to research what they are.
Libel
In order for a sociopath to proceed with a defamation case, the following must be present:
- Sociopath must be identified
- Statements made must be false
- Statements must be defamatory
- Statements must be published
In many libel cases, the plaintiff has to spend time proving that published statements are defamatory. Some statements, however, are considered defamatory per se, which means anyone would understand them to be defamatory. The plaintiff doesn’t have to prove the fact that they are defamatory.
Traditionally, defamation per se includes:
- Allegations that injure a person’s trade, profession or business
- Allegations of sexually transmitted disease or mental illness
- Allegations of “unchastity”
- Allegations of criminal activity
It’s highly likely that if you’re exposing a sociopath, you’ll make these types of allegations. Sociopathic behavior typically includes unsavory business practices, sexually transmitted diseases, promiscuity and criminal activity. So you can count on your statements being considered defamatory.
Therefore, you must make sure that your statements are true, and you can prove it. In most U.S. states, truth is an absolute defense in libel cases.
Opinions are often not considered to be defamatory. However, if an opinion includes a false statement of fact, it can be defamatory.
Some statements are “privileged.” This means that even if a statement is defamatory, the person who makes it is excused from liability. Statements made during judicial proceedings in open court have absolute privilege. Anything said in court by anybody—judges, attorneys, plaintiff, defendant, witnesses—can be reported without fear of defamation. This protection is also extended to any legal documents filed with the court.
Invasion of privacy
Publishing private and intimate facts about a person, or information that is highly offensive and is not of legitimate concern to the public, can be considered an invasion of privacy.
Information about the following are generally considered to be protected by the right of privacy:
- Private letters
- Sexual orientation or sexual relations
- A person’s health
- A person’s wealth
Public records, such as birth, marriage and military records, may be published.
Truth is not a defense in an invasion of privacy case. Again, sociopaths often engage in behavior that reasonable people would consider offensive. Even when statements about the behavior are true, you may not be protected from an invasion of privacy claim.
Invasion of privacy claims are sometimes made because of how information is gathered. If you use surveillance, a hidden camera or a hidden microphone, your actions might be considered intrusion.
Free speech
You might be asking, “What about the First Amendment?” “What about my right of free speech?”
The First Amendment of the United States protects the freedom of the press and various rights of free speech from government censorship. The First Amendment does make it more difficult for libel cases to be pursued in the U.S. as opposed to other countries. And public figures often have to prove “actual malice” to win a libel case. However, it does not mean anyone can say anything they want about a private individual.
In the past, only journalists and newspapers had to worry about libel and invasion of privacy laws. But with the Internet, anyone can publish anything, and the law has not caught up with the technology. Therefore, there are no clear-cut guidelines about what you can do, and what you can’t.
Exposure works
At Lovefraud, I know that exposure works. Four women have contacted me from Australia. They met my ex-husband, James Montgomery, who is still fishing for victims online, but after Googling him and reading my story, ditched him.
The same has happened with other True Lovefraud Stories—I know that people have escaped involvements with Phil Haberman, Lance Larabee, Anthony Owens, Patti Milazzo, Michele Drake, Brian Ellington and Bill Strunk.
Because the legal and judicial system is so inadequate in dealing with sociopaths, in my opinion, exposure is the only thing that does work.
If you want to proceed
Therefore, if you’re thinking about exposing the sociopath who victimized you, first you must weigh the risks. Is the sociopath likely to sue? Are you in a position to defend yourself?
If you want to proceed, here are some points to keep in mind:
• Calling the person a “sociopath” may be problematic, unless you can prove an actual diagnosis. Implying a mental disorder is defamation per se. You may want to skip the term and just publish what the person did.
• Make sure you can prove that any statement you make about the sociopath is the truth. Stick to the facts.
• Don’t make any threats, even facetious threats. Avoid statements like, “Does anybody know a good hit man?”
• You may have more leeway if the sociopath is a public figure. In order to win a libel suit, the sociopath would have to prove “actual malice.” For example, if Joey Buttafuoco proceeds with his libel suit against Mary Jo, part of her defense may be to claim he is a public figure.
• If you are currently involved in a legal action with a sociopath, you should probably wait until it is over before publishing anything that might damage your case. The exception to this might be criminal cases in which the prosecutors aren’t taking any action. Sometimes media attention gets them to move, as in the Ed Hicks case.
• If you’ve been to court with the sociopath, you can use anything that was part of the court proceedings—any legal documents filed, anything said in court. Get the transcript, especially if the sociopath lied and you can prove it.
• Public records, such as criminal convictions, can be published.
• If you’re building a webpage to expose the sociopath, don’t make up a cute title like, “Five years of deception.” Use the person’s name in the url. That’s the best way for the page to show up when someone Googles the name.
• Finally, if you’re going to expose the sociopath, make sure you can do it safely. If the sociopath is violent and on the loose, put your own safety before trying to save others.
written by Donna Andersen • Permalink •
Stayingsane says:
Donna
My blood runs cold as I watched James Montgomery’s toast to your parents on your wedding day. He was the center of the universe and you were “made for him”….truly nauseating and despicable. I have a small idea of what you must have gone through…I remember my own shock at discovering ‘other women’ etc. it’s a moment where life changes and is never the same again..I wish you every happiness and success in spite of him, because of him and to hell with him.
(Report abusive comment)
witsend says:
Oxy,
I think there are always a few defining moments when you are struggling with kids such as these, when you just KNOW in your heart that isn’t just a “troubled teenager” that your raising. When you know it IS malignant and not curable.
I remember that first moment with my son. And I remember how I doubted myself afterwards. How I rationalized with myself. How I couldn’t have POSSIBLY seen what I saw. Initially I couldn’t get past it. It scared the hell out of me. Then days later I wanted to bury it and FORGET it ever happened.
I think first you know intellectually. So you accept it first on an intellectual level and then you hope and pray that emotionally as a mother, you can accept it as well. The heart takes longer.
I am pretty sure that Lily and I are both strugging with that same thing.
I am also struggling with the fact that I am still living with mine and it is a “daily” struggle to know how to interact with him.
I am his mother but as time passes, I believe that I feel less and less like his mother and that really CONFUSES me.
It is hard to know what is “best” to do under such uncomfortable circumstances. It is HARD to be motherly to an abusive person, even when that abusive person IS your son.
As time goes on and he is less recognizeable as the son I once knew, I feel less like the person I ONCE WAS as well.
Does that make any sense?
And all the things I know so well, his anger, his grandious ideas, his entitelment, lack of compassion/empathy, his lies, his arrogance…..I don’t want to be the “one” that fuels them. Or maybe better said as people here use the phrase his N supply……I can’t CHANGE these things about him unfortunately but I certainly don’t want to ADD to the problem.
I would say that is something I struggle with DAILY. What is my “script” now in all of this?
(Report abusive comment)
OxDrover says:
Dear Witsend,
Sounds like you are right on track to me!!!! I definitely can relate even though my “living with him” was 20+ years ago—and believe me, in some ways, it seems like “yesterday” and in others like it “never happened” or like it was a movie I saw once.
Being a compassionate and caring mother to a normal teenager is a challenge! Being a mother to a psychopathic offsspring feels like “Rosemary.” Little did I know I would relate to that character so many years later.
Mentally and emotionally are two separate ways of relating and I think the mentally must come first, and then guide our emotional part to acceptance. Hang in there, I think you are doing great! Just like Lily, in your own time.
(Report abusive comment)
Matt says:
witsend:
I remember the other day telling you it was time to focus on you. I think OxDrover is coming from the same place.
It seems that the only thing that hasn’t forced this issue with your son and the truancy officer is that you are the one dragging him to school every day. You said if he has 6 unexcused absences the truancy officer gets involved.
Why not stop dragging him to school? Make it clear to him that if he doesn’t go, the truancy officer comes after him — so, it’s up to him to get his ass into the classroom. The choice is his — go to school on his own or deal with the truancy officer on his own. This take you out of the mix and may possibly escalate this to a level where maybe, at this late date, the authorities may get involved. But, it keeps you out of the mix.
With regard to getting you out of the mix, it seems you are getting conflicting answers on just how long you are stuck having to support him. To find out the answers to your questions (i.e. am I stuck supporting a kid who chooses to drop out of school at 17 until he is 18? can I move to have him declared emancipated? What would it take for him to get himself emancipated?) I would write or email the State Attorney General’s OFfice of your state. His/Her office is responsible for the ultimate interpretation of state law. If you check out the State AG’s website you may very well find the answers to your questions. Also, your State’s department of children’s services may have the answers to this. Also, the County and State bar associations of most counties and states have a night where you can meet with an attorney for free and discuss you issues. See if you can find one of these in you areas and a family law practitioner could probably give you the answers to your questions.
When I said it’s time to shift the focus to you, I really do believe that. I agree with OxDrover that a provoked S/P/N whatever can be dangerous. I still stand by my statement that you’ve done all you can do for your son. At this point in time I think, painful as it is, that you have to start looking into what steps will protect you and free you from your son’s disruptive presence. He has threatened to burn down your house. You can’t live the rest of your life sleeping with one eye open.
(Report abusive comment)
skylar says:
Matt and EMJ,
I saw the lawyer today and he says his practice is family law and this would fall under civil rights or personal injury.
He doesn’t think the P has much chance of proving we were married or living as a married couple. My exP is not family so I will just try EMJ’s lawyer.
This lawyer didn’t really show much interest, though he did know what a sociopath is.
(Report abusive comment)
Fighter says:
Wini -
You spoke of the Masons. It is very VERY common for sociopaths to wrap themselves in a “cloak of respectability” by affiliating with a religious, fraternal or governmental organization.
Donna is right on when she posts about exposure keeping people away from these predators. One of our latest exposures – Glenn Capers – has generated up to 20 separate letters to us from around the world of women already conned by him, women suffering from STDs from him and women who he was working on that now know better.
As far as the “cloak of respectability” – it never ceases to amaze us the lengths these sociopathic types will go to to cover up their ‘secret lives.’
Mike Campbell not only used his music career but his position in his church to find victims.
Sammy Benoit (his online pseudonym) and his wife recently got an award from a Jewish Organization for their support. ‘Sammy’s’ political blog maintains its own mailing list so he can have easy access to vulnerable women under another identity.
Doug Beckstead continues to portray himself as a military hero when he simply is a historian with the Air Force. His job gives him plenty of time away from his wife to play and prey.
And Ed Hicks, whose been profiled here on LoveFraud – used to work for the Government and had high security clearance.
Then there are guys like Andrew Tammar who use ‘affinity fraud’ to prey on Christians who believe that as a Christian he would never defraud them.
Never judge a sociopath by his cover. And the only way for many people to know – is by their past victims telling. Telling can be very healing and validating as well.
We encourage those who can to expose them. As Donna saysd, the legal system will not help you here – exposure will as long as you read her parameters for doing so.
(Report abusive comment)
skylar says:
1
(Report abusive comment)
stclair651 says:
I understand were you are coming from I felt so strongly that I needed to expose my sociopath I was almost obsessed with it. People would say let it go move on, but I knew I could not do that. I would say it is about accountability, someone can’t walk into your life based on lies turn your world upside down they walk away. It was about accountability, but more importantly it was about closure. I spent 2 years tracking him down it was a daily event for me. I did post him on a few websites, but I wanted to sue him I did not care if I got money I just wanted it to be public record. Finally I found him and served him and planned to sue him in small claims court. After I filed I got letters from court tv shows like Judge Mathis asking if I would be interested in having my case be heard on their show. I thought hmmm I could expose him on national tv. The insentive for him was if I won they paid the judgement for him. He agreed to go, I planned to blind side him and expose him. Long story short I did the show, I was nervous as hell everyone was telling me to relax but I could not this was about closure and accountability. Well I was able to get some of my story out their, and his face on national tv, but he was smooth and charming and accused me of being a crazy, and a stalker. Ultimately I won the suit, he got a few shots in on me but more imortantly I GOT CLOSURE which is priceless so I just follow your heart and do what ever you need to do to close that chapter…Good luck
(Report abusive comment)
Unbound Angel says:
Thanks for the post…timely for me…I am dealing with N brother in a legal dispute as we speak… just as another posted noted “they are vindictive till the day they die”…agreed..thanks again for all the info
(Report abusive comment)
Tilly says:
Unbound angel:
My brother is the same. Keep coming back I need you.
(Report abusive comment)
blueskies says:
Thanks Staying sane:)x, I question my Ideas about wether I should do more to ‘expose’ the S/P/N’s in my life when I read this post and comments… but I have to do what works for me though in not ‘pursuing’ them… I sure as billy-o talk when asked though! If someone ever asked me a straight question about them I have no qualms in explaining exactly what we are dealing with:)
Skylar yes we too are used as their “cloak of respectablility”, I know about that one too well, I hate that… the narc that gave birth to me, used us to make her look good when we were kids while being utterly abusive behind closed doors and still talks about ‘her girls like/do this and that’ to make new people think she’s a decent mother/person (makes me want to run in with a placard saying ‘what girls? the imaginary phsyco you had taken into care, the bully in denial or the ‘girl’ who wouldnt p**s on you if you were on fire???!’…ahem… calm down blue:))
… and the S/P used me as a ‘trophy’ (now I remember him when we first got together standing us up in front of a mirror and saying, yes, that looks lovely’ … !!) and his children as tools just like you said sky, to con new marks….YUK!
To all reading… if you are ever feeling like you/ their ‘beliefs’/ their ‘charitable actions’ are being ‘paraded’ and its at total odds with ‘indoor behaviour’… BIG RED FLAG!xxx
there endeth my rant of the day:)xxx
(Report abusive comment)
witsend says:
Matt,
I must live in the wrong state. The laws suck here!
I sent an email to the truant officer in my county and recieved a reply. Her reply:
“According to the Compulsory Attendance Laws, a child is required to attend school from the age of 6 to the age of 16. Although you do not approve of your son dropping out of school, legally there is nothing I can do to make him go to school. This is an unfortunate situation and I feel your frustration.”
I evidently interpret this wrong as he is still 16 and yet she says there is nothing she can do if he goes truant because THAT WAS my question. What they would do?
State Legislature for emancipation – Obligations of parents part.
“The parents of a minor emancipated by court order are jointly and severally obligated to support the minor. However, the parents of a minor emancipated by court order are not liable for any debts incurred by the minor during the period of emancipation.”
How would this be interpreted? I understand it as you still are obligated to support them but not pay their debts? Is that correct?
So what would the point be to encourage emancipation?
Thanks Matt.
(Report abusive comment)
OxDrover says:
Dear Witsend,
I hear your lfrustration!. Wow, you are still required to SUPPORT an emancipated minor, but you aren’t responsible for any debts he would build up.?????????? I thought emancipation meant you are lresponsible for yourself…emancipating him would give him the BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.
(Report abusive comment)
witsend says:
Oxy,
It is not only frustrating it doesn’t even make sense does it?
It looks to me by what I am reading as I sift through the emancipation “mumbo jumbo” that the laws have been changed over the years. At least in the state that I reside. Because some of the laws state: “new law” requires ect…..
And FROM what I see, I hope my son has not checked into this to much because I don’t see why ANY teenager 16 or older wouldn’t GO FOR IT!
Obviously the minor, when they file has the obligation to show the court why they wish emancipation from their parents to begin with.
And they do have to be gainfully employed. Yet it clearly STATES that parents are still by law obligated to support minor as I cut and pasted ubove to Matt.
“new law also requires the minor to include certain information showing that s/he has demonstrated the ability to manage his or her financial affairs, including proof of employment or other means of support.
minor must also demonstrate the ability to manage his or her personal and social affairs.”
I am very confused?
(Report abusive comment)
OxDrover says:
Dear Witsend,
Well, I sincerely DOUBT that your son could “qualify” as capable of “managing his affairs” as he is totally not managing them well, so I can’t see a judge emancipating him.
So, as long as the little darling stays lunder your roof, it looks like you are obligated to support his sorry butt, no matter what he does other wise or not, goes to school or not.
I don’t know if you read that national news story were some state (cant remember which one CRS) put in a law that you could drop off any child at a hospityal and the state would take them. It was meant for INFANTS but people came from OTHER STATES to drop off their TEENAGERS. The law was quickly changed to a child under 3-days old! LOL
I KNOW FOR A FACT, you are NOT the ONLY parent with these problems. When I went to work for the in-patient psych hospital 3 or 4 months after my son was arrested for murder, part of my job was “intake interviews” with the parents of these kids—-MOSTLY PARENTS OF KIDS JUST LIKE YOURS AND MINE—and actually it helped ME more than them, because I realized I was NOT THE ONLY PARENT WITH KIDS LIKE THIS.
I stayed at that facility for a year and a half and it was my THERAPY to be there, interact with and learn about these kids. Also seeing the anguish of lthe parents of these kids was therapy for me, because it put my own anguish into perspective. I saw how DANGEROUS these kids can be to others and to themselves, how cunning they are, and totally without conscience. Almost the entire patient population was made up of these kids, with the RARE kid with some other mental illness that was “treatable.”
The only thing these kids “respected” was superior FORCE, and the mental health “techs” who were for the most part former football players and who would restrain the kids if necessary to keep them from hurting a staff member or other patient. Before I gave notice and left that job, I had a situation in which a patient (age 15 or 16) planned to kill me, and had a weapon. fortunately he was not successful, but it did make me decide that was “God’s way of telling me” that I needed a less dangerous job, so after giving my notice, I went into home care for a couple of years where the patients were more cooperative and less violent.
I am glad, though, that I did take this job because it helped me over a very rough spot in my life. I have said several times that God put me in a position to have a job that either helped support me through a personal problem, or prepare me to deal with a personal problem. Working with head-injured patients for several years prepared me for dealing with my step-son who had a severe brain injury. I don’t know how I would have managed as well as I did if I had not had that previous experience in working with both the patients and their families of brain injured patients.
The wide variety of various jobs I had in the first half of my career, from psych to ICU, home care, etc. alll helped me when I worked the ten years in public clinics as a practitioner doing family medicine. The psych experience also helped me to realize that a good portion of “clinic” medicine is actually related to psych as much as physical medicine. It is a WHOLISTIC thing, and the entire patient, their family, their emotions, strengths and weaknesses all have to be taken into account. This is where, I think, an advance practice hurse has some advantage over physicians, is that we tend to focus more on the WHOLE patient, not just the medical aspects. I think the BEST care is with a caring physican and an advance practice nurse together as a team, with specialists as needed for referrals.
When I first got my registered nurse practitioner license (RNP) we were hardly known and not universally respected by either physicians or the general public, but over the years I have seen advancements in both the quality and quanity of what is now called an Advanced Practice nurse (APN) and the profession is more universally respected by both patients and physicians. an APN is NOT a mini-doctor, but a MAXI NURSE, though some of that overlaps with medical practice.
I had little problem putting the things I learned in my career to good use for patients and their families, and sometimes even for my own welfare, but NOW I am trying to FOCUS on myself as a deserving patient, and putting the things into practice for MYSELF. Like a lot of us, I gave too much to others, and not enough to MYSELF.
One of the good things I think about blogging here on LF is that it makes us THINK about what we are thinking and what we are doing in our lives. sometimes, I think, we don’t THINK about what we are feeling or doing, or what effect it is having on our lives unless we either journal or blog, but with the FEED BACK we get here it helps us focus.
The articles I write here are all ideas that I have gotten HERE and I’ve had to sit down and THINK about my life, my philosophy, and how I am behaving toward myself and others. That in itself REINFORCES positive thoughts and positive behaviors. So, I get as much “good” out of an article writing it as anyone else could from reading it. I think Louise and Kathy and others here who have written articles will back me up on that claim.
(Report abusive comment)
witsend says:
Oxy,
AIN’T that the TRUTH. When I read what the minor needed to propose to the courts…That was my first thought.
He would not be able to say that he was managing his affairs.
WELL my son WOULD SAY he was managing, but he couldn’t back that up. I don’t believe the judge would buy into his “lack of reality world” that he resides in.
I guess I am screwed. This gives NEW meaning to the old saying….Can’t live WITH him, Can’t live WITHOUT him!
(Report abusive comment)
skylar says:
http://www.legislature.mi.gov/.....;highlight=
http://www.enotes.com/everyday.....ancipation
Witsend, based on the above links, Oxy is right.
Still, this may work out in your favor if you get him in front of a judge (under the pretense of trying to help him get emancipated) and the judge will speak with you about his behavior. Once you tell the judge everything you’ve had to deal with, there will be a court record of it. it may come in handy in the future. For instance, you can tell the judge that he has threatened to burn your house down so you would rather he be emancipated. It will be in the court record, so your son will KNOW that if the house burns down now, he will be accused of arson. That may help protect you.
(Report abusive comment)
OxDrover says:
Witsend,
I totally disagree with Skylar on this one, all the “court records” aren’t going to do you a bit of good if he kills you and burns the house down to “conceal” the evidence (he WILL get caught because he is not as smart as he thinks he is) and by taking him before a judge you will have poked a stick at a “sleeping lion”—JUST MY OPINION, BUT HAVING POKED A LION MYSELF I CAN TESTIFY THAT THEY NEVER FORGET, AND WORK HARD FOR REVENGE.
I think the adolescent ones are even more dangerous sometimes than the older ones, as the frontal lobe on the juviniles, even normal ones, has not matured enough for a reasonable IMPULSE CONTROL, and I think that makes them MORE LIKELY to be violent in an impulsive rage of revenge for the “innjuries” you gave them by dragging them in front of a judge.
Actually, I think the way things stand with your kid, SLEEPING in class (which is the ONLY “crime” he is guilty of now) is not going to get you in front of a judge at all. If he even suspects you are thinking about doing such a thing, I think it would “provoke” him into SHOWING YOU WHO IS IN CONTROL—-
Believe me they think they are sooooo SMART that the DUMB COPS have no chance to catch them After all, they watch CSI and know how to not leave evidence. LOL ROTFLMAO Mine left as much evidence as the stupid bank robber who wrote the note on the back of his deposit slip. A cone eyed, retarded cop could have convicted HIM! Yet he still in his prison cell thinks he is THE SMARTEST CROOK IN THE WORLD.
It isn’t about logic, Skylar, and you are dealing with someone who might as well be from MARS.
(Report abusive comment)
skylar says:
No Oxy, I don’t mean to take him in front of the judge AGAINST HIS WILL. I mean go WITH the kid to HELP him in his emancipation. Tell him, “I want to help you take the next step to your adult freedom, because you aren’t happy living with me and I want you to be happy. So lets get the forms filled out, I will go to the judge WITH you and together we will convince him that this would be best.”
When you get there, continue with your best, sincere face and tell the judge that the child is very unhappy. Describe the things he has done to show this – for example, threatening to burn down the house. Never show anger or fear. Just portray yourself to the judge as having immense pity for the child’s unhappiness. The P’s never “get” it, but the judge will.
(Report abusive comment)
OxDrover says:
Dear Skylar, I still think that “outing” him with the theats may not be wise even if she did go before a judge, I think telling the judge he has threatened her (which is a crime, BTW) might cause him more rage. No psychopath likes to be outed in their crimes, and will of course DENY having done it, and become more enraged.
Maybe it is my background of my own murderous P-son that “colors” my thinking, but I take threats seriously from psychopathic teenagers, and unless you are in a position that you can be totally protected from them FOREVER after confronting them, which in this case, Witsend won’t be, I think confrontation can lead quickly to RETALIATION.
(Report abusive comment)
OxDrover says:
ps: When I caught my P-son with a stolen gun when he was 17 (the school cop notified me) he ran away and I immediately reported him as a “run away”—he and his friend that he ran with (a foster kid of mine) stole a motorcycle and damaaged it. the owner of the motorcycle was going to sue ME because in Florida parents are responsible for damages done by their children…however, because I had reported him as a runaway, therefore NOT UNDER MY CONTROL, I did not have to pay for the damages done to his motorcycle, which actually were very minor.
A day and a half later, when the cops caught them, with the motorcycle, I sent the foster kid away, and my son was put on probation and had to go to therapy—which he convinced the therapist I was a “bad parent” and he totally REFUSED to comply with curfew and so on, and though I called his probation officer and the therapist, I got NO COOPERATION.
Eventually, he talked his 19 yr old brother, C, into renting them an apartment and they moved out. Within two weeks, he had robbed our friends’ business (using our cars which he stole and hot wired in the middle of the night) to carry his stolen loot, he already had another stolen motorcycle but couldn’t carry the loot on the motorcycle.
When we went out that morning and found our cars HOT we knew they had been driven, and had no problem “figuring out” WHO had driven them and returned them to us—-LOL–so went to the apartment and found the loot. Then called the cops, which resulted in BOTH my sons being arrested, the innocent with the guilty. However, son C was NOT prosecuted thank God and his arrest was expunged from the records.
(Report abusive comment)
skylar says:
1
(Report abusive comment)
skylar says:
I just read your PS.
I can see that you tend to take the bull by the horns. I’m more of a passive aggressive. But I think that we both see the need to keep everything out in the light of day. The more light you throw on them, the more they have to hide. they’re like vampires – working at night and in the dark.
(Report abusive comment)
witsend says:
skylar,
Did you notice that my state had the extra “crap” attatched to the emancipation in that link you gave me?
I don’t know….Call me paranoid. But I do FEAR this kid. Its hard to admit, as a parent, but I do.
What I fear the MOST is his inability to connect his words to his actions. His lies are his truth.
What he says is HIS reality. And in his world what he DOES means absolutely nothing.
My first reaction when he said this to me (setting the house on fire) was to report it at least to the police. Like you say to have it on record.
But my next thought was…..What if they picked him up to question him about this?
Is this in my best interest or not? Of course he would deny it But it would certainly piss him off.
I DO honestly believe that teenagers with these S/P traits can possibly be more dangerous than an adult. And the reaon I believe that is because they don’t have enough ” life experience” behind them. They do not have impulse control. And he does NOT think like a coward because he is still young enough and arrogant enough to believe he can do ANYTHING. Even normal/average teenagers don’t have fear for alot of things. They think they are invincible.
Does that make sense? It does to me although I am also emotionally involved. So that doesn’t help matters any.
(Report abusive comment)
kim frederick says:
And I think I read somewhere that pathological liars can pass polygraphs, I guess because they believe their own lies. Sigh.
(Report abusive comment)
heartmoonstar says:
Hello LF readers (and attn Erin–in reference to one of your past posts which I cannot locate)
Yesterday I was relieved of jury duty (after 4 court days) on a high profile double homicide with special circumstances case….thank GoD!
After what I have been thru with my XN and his GF Atty who is also an N and his counsel in our 2+years ongoing divorce, I was shaken to the roots to be plopped down into THIS jury pool. It was like after my crawl to get out from one N, I am thrown into bucket with an obvious P, whose presence in the court made it very nerve wracking to be in the same room…..he was constantly scanning the prospective jurors, trying to catch their eye, and smiling a creepy smile that exuded an evil electricity to us jurors. Maybe it affected me more than others because I recognized him for what he is.
(Erin, during the voir dire and after filling out an EXTENSIVE questionnaire, the Judge asked me what “NPD’ stood for….I was shocked! I immediately thought of your post about the foot dragging in the NV courts of continuing education, as offered by the HighConflictInstitue, and how desperately it is needed to expose the courts to those with personality disorders.)
I had to explain to the Court, the prosecuting atty, and the defense atty (who happens to be the accused, he is representing himself after firing his two court appointed atty’s because they wanted him to plead guilty on insanity) what Narcissistic Personality Disorder was……unbelievable!!!!
It was the accused P himself that released me from the jury box as soon as I took a seat. I think the prosecuting atty was sad to see me go……. :-\
(Report abusive comment)
ErinBrockovich says:
Heart:
HAH……You became the teacher…….see how things work out?
You touched several people, and I bet some of them go home and look into it themsleves…..
I bet the defendant was blown away…and couldn’t get you out of there fast enough!!!
GOOD FOR YOU!
We just never know when we will have an opportunity to raise awareness…..this is empowering….
Heart…..if you would have been chosen to serve, you would have done a great job, but since this wasn’t your ‘time’….you have ‘another’ job to tend to……it’s up to you to decide ‘what’ that may be.
I beleive everything happens for a reason…..
I commend you for getting up when asked and doing what you had to do……just think…..this judge may tell another judge, who speaks to an attorney, who speaks to your judge over dinner and BAM…..the word got out! SOMONEONE will be talking about juror XYZ tonight or next week, or tomorrow….or all three….
You made a difference…
This is HOW we can all make a difference…..
YEAH….heartmoon….your a star!
(Report abusive comment)
heartmoonstar says:
EB, thanks!
I like your take on it, and hope that is what will happen……
This was of course, in criminal court. The P is arrested, accused and ready to be tried…..
Family court is the lighted stage that the N, P, and S “USE” to shine in the glory of all their fabrications…..I have found this to be so emotionally, mentally, physically and monetarily draining, that there were days when I was almost non-functional…..in numb-land…a deer in the headlights. Stealth and Covert abuse abound…..
In another post (may have been yours) it was proposed to think and act like an S, because, after all, they taught us well! And to use that little bit of “S” that is in us all, but never used….
….so I did. The XN belongs to 3 clubs, and even tho it has been over two years with me out of the residence (I now live 1/2 mile away to keep my son in the same school district), I still get calls from other “members” looking for the X, as I kept the home phone number when I moved.
So I decided to call each club, to make sure my name was not on the billing, and to remove my phone number from the roster. The first club I called still had my ph# on file, so they removed it. The second club was fine, all info was the X’s, the third and most prestigious club told me I was not on the billing, nor was my phone number, and the billing address was for an address that is 150 miles from the X’s, and I recognized it as his GF atty’s address.
I immediately knew why he was being billed at that address: to get the out of area status of a full member, but not the higher billing of a LOCAL full member……he was saving over 60% of the fees by using this far away address for billing purposes!
Hmmmm…..that can’t be right, I said. We have joint custody of our minor son, who goes to school locally, and my X has custody every other week….so I know he is here, he got our home….that is where he lives and where I pick up and drop off my son…hmmm….oh yes!…..I DO recognize that address…it’s his girlfriend’s!…..funny….I have NO IDEA why he would have the billing sent there…very strange….but thank you for confirming my information is no longer on the account…bye!
Of course I felt horrible after I hung up……NOT!
(Report abusive comment)
skylar says:
Stargazer, are you out there?
(Report abusive comment)
Tilly says:
flyspeck, are you out there?
(Report abusive comment)
Tilly says:
Come back!
(Report abusive comment)
bibleannie says:
TO Erin, OxDRover
I need help! I am scared and can’t shake this erie, sick feeling inside of me.
What I’m saying is I think I need to be scared for my life.
I believe you all understand and recognize how a socio can know the words but not the music. Mine has never ever showed any concern for our future financially, I have always been the one to bring it up.
Last night as we were leaving a grocery store, out of the absolute blue he says to me, so, when we die do you want to be cremated or buried. Right away I said, I want to be buried. Then I asked him what he wanted, he told me cremated absolutely. I grew quiet for a minute cause I knew this moment would be extremely important. He then went on to try to tell me that he really felt we should both be cremated. I took my time and calmly explained that my whole family has always had a burial with a casket. At this point he became agitated with me (this is usually not how he operated, for most all things he just agrees to passify me). Anyway, I noticed that he kept glancing at me sideways to watch my reactions. I tried very hard to conceal my nervousness that I was feeling. Again, I tried to be casual and said, Honey, it’s just uncomfortable to talk about these things and I know we need to but it’s hard anyway. Then he said well a funeral with a casket can cost 10,000. I said so…you have insurance at your job that would be just about enough to cover it. I asked him why all of the sudden he wanted to discuss this with me. He went on to tell me, well you know I have this feeling that mom wont’ be around much longer. His mom and dad are wealthy. Then he reminded me that both his mom and dad want to be cremated. He would let it go, even after I asked him to let it rest so I could think about it and that I needed to see if it would be wrong scriptually. We got home, and immediately he wanted me to look it up online. So I did. I told him that there was not clear answer and that I simply wanted to follow tradition in my family. I think at this point he saw that he wasn’t going to get me to back down and agree with him, he then went on to talk about how he wa going to change his 401 k at work to increase it.
You will probaby think Im nuts Erin and Oxdrover when I tell you that from the start of the whole ocnversation, It was like I could see into his mind and what his motives were. His parents are wealthy, remember he stole his fathers identiy in his mid thirties, the whole sensation that came over me was like I had walked right into his mind and knew what he was wanting. I imagined that my life was in very real danger. That he could be plotting my death (being cremated so there is no autopsy), getting me out of the way as he moves in on his dad knowing his mom’s mind is going fast. His mom when she was well, controlled all of the money and was wise to my S. Remember, she told me that he was dangerously smart and so good with people it was to a flaw.
I believe that since a month ago when I told my S that I would separate from him if he didn’t take action to get his never ending debt accumation taken care of and start being responsible that I would leave.
Now, I think by telling him this was a huge mistake. I think he wants me out of the picture because I call him things all of the time. All of S associates are thugs, either drug dealers, perverts, ex-hitmen and so on. Yes, I am afraid. I have nowhere to go at the present time. No money, no vehicle. I can’t go to my family because when they met him for the first time, he became this wonderful, helpful, caring loving man for all of them. They would think I am the crazy one.
I know now that I can never out wit him, because I have a conscience and he doesn’t. He will stop at nothing if he believes I am a threat to him now.
(Report abusive comment)
skylar says:
1
(Report abusive comment)
bibleannie says:
thank you, thank you, thank you.
I consider myself after a lot of years of growing up that I couldn’t be as rattled as I was last night. You are right, I did trigger that and yes I think I can act all luvy duvy even though on the inside I will be fighting the urge to puke.
You are right, I will send him a joke about it today.
As soon as I start working again, I have to play the part of a socio myself. I will definitely have a one track mind to save enough to get the heck out of this living nightmare.
Skylar, thank you again, I was immediately relieved of this gripping fear after reading your post.
(Report abusive comment)
ErinBrock says:
Bibleannie:
At some point the game ain’t worth playing!
Only YOU can decide when that point has hit…….
Really no sense in sticking around to see if he kills you……to bury you or cremate you huh?
Minimize your losses and get out.
There are shelters, places you can go, it might be a good thing to move in with your son who was coming your way…..a bit further from ‘home’…..I think you should fast forward any plans and move on them. You must listen to your gut!
Bible….there really isn’t an ‘optimal’ time to leave….never is…..
So just make the move.
(Report abusive comment)
OxDrover says:
Dear Bibleannie,
Unlike Skylar, I think YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR GUT! I know that it is difficult to get out when you have no money, but I think you should leave immediately.
When my son and his henchmen started planning on killing me (all the time, trying to be “friendly”) my GUT told me, and it was like GOD WARNING DAVID through Jonathan that Saul was out to get him and kill him. DON’T DISCOUNT YOUR GUT!
I did not want to leave my home (which is on the same farm with my enabling egg donor) but I had NO CHOICE and I fled for my life, and it was a darn good thing I did or I would be dead now, I have NO DOUBT! I also had no support except for 1 friend and one of my sons….who was also in danger.
They sometimes start planning things, and GIVE AWAY THEIR INTENTIONS, the Trojan Horse Psychopath my P-son had infiltrated into the family gave himself away because his car died and he wanted another one IMMEDIATELY so he “borrowed” money from my egg donor, and then BOTH OF THEM lied to me about it….when I found out because she slipped and told me, my hackles came up and I realized some deception. I didn’t take immediate action, but it did give me a head’s up.
For him to make such a big deal about this, SOMETHING is going on. LISTEN TO YOUR GUT….whatever it costs you, even going to a shelter is better than him killing you! DON’T LET HIM “drive you crazy” thouigh….don’t tell anyone except maybe ONE trusted friend, and also write a letter to the cops about “in case of my death”—-but GET OUT OF THERE IS MY ADVICE—get your hands on as much money as you can, take whatever papers you need, and that INCLUDES ALL OF THEM, and GET OUT! If you think you can trust your minister go talk to him, but he may not believe you, mine didn’t….mine believed the Ps and thought I was CRAZY, so try not to appear “hysterical” if you do that will bite you in the butt.
I don’t think you can outwit them, so I think it is dangerous to even try. Trust God, I think this is a warning that your life is in danager. You are in my prayers and thoughts! Love oxy
(Report abusive comment)
skylar says:
I agree that the moment you feel you are out of your league, WALK AWAY.
But for now, Bibleanne isn’t asking about how to leave, she is asking about how to handle the situation she is in now.
Find out how much funerals cost complete with casket and plot. Then tell him that you are really concerned that it will be a burden on him so you are going to start working and saving for that expense right away. Be loving and concerned, tell him how much this weighs on your mind. Tell him you feel such “GUILT” for never having considered this before. He will love the idea of you “digging your own grave”. This will be your cover to squirel away money. You can now start saving right under his nose and he won’t interfere.
That’s what I did with mine. I can’t post what actually happened, but I will tell you that he was trying to gaslight me and told me that homeland security was after him. So I played along with it. I acted scared and bizarre and when ever I needed to do certain things that he didn’t agree with, I convinced him we HAD to do it because of the cops. I told him how scared I was of the cops and that’s why I turned off the phone and didn’t answer calls.
I basically dived into his bullshit and overreacted to it. He was pleased at the response, because he felt he had “gotten” to me. So he couldn’t actually complain too much about my behavior.
This is how you deal with them -play along but change the rules. Don’t do what they expect. let them see a (fake)emotional response and go into action. It will take incredible will power. You will probably not be able to accomplish the whole thing unless you have nerves of steel and can expect the unexpected.
(Report abusive comment)
OxDrover says:
Skylar,
Annie said: QUOTE: “He will stop at nothing if he believes I am a threat to him now.”
Whatever her point in asking about how to “handle it”—my opinion still stands, I think this is a CLUE to his intentions of killing her. If I am wrong, and he has no intention of killing her, then she is still safe. If I am RIGHT and he does have an intention of killing her, then…she made a BIG mistake by trying to out wit him.
If you weigh the RISKS of being WRONG which is the most RISK, to stay around or to leave? Not all RISKS are EQUAL, and I realize that I am on the “better safe than sorry” side of it all but this kind of “clue” or “slip of the lip” if you will, is the very frequent way that they let their intentions slip out.
My X BF-P kept taking about wanting to “burn down” his “cousin’s” house, but what he DID was to burn down the home of his X-GF before me because she had dumped him. We were never able to prove it in court, but there IS NO DOUBT HE DID IT.
I take any kind of “threat” seriously, and lots of people have not taken “warnings” as threats, and died because of it. Most murders in this country of women are done by their SOs, or X-SOs. So if I “over react” I would rather be wroong on that end than to NOT “react enough” and have a death occur. It is obvious TO ME that this man is planning her DEATH, and that being the case, to me, it could be tomorrow or next year, but why wait around to find out?
(Report abusive comment)
skylar says:
my last post was lost in cyberspace…
Annie, can you tell us more about how you two have been relating since you first came on LF. Are you being more defiant? are you getting along?
How do you know he doesn’t have a keylogger on you?
Didn’t you post yesterday that you “outed” him using a keylogger at work?
(Report abusive comment)
Rosa says:
Bibleannie:
Your husband’s estimate about the cost of a funeral with casket and vault is right on the money.
$10,000 is approximately what funerals cost these days.
The cost can either decrease or increase by the quality of the casket & vault that is chosen. Caskets can range in price from about $800 – $6000. So, there is a big variation.
But, $10,000 is the average cost.
It seems like he has been doing his homework on this subject, ESPECIALLY since he wants to be cremated.
Cremations are less expensive than funerals, because there is no casket & vault.
If you should pass away, your husband will determine whether you are buried or cremated, UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING IN WRITING (LIKE A WILL) STATING YOUR WISHES, OR IF ONE OF YOUR BLOOD RELATIVES COMES FORWARD AND SAYS THEY ARE OPPOSED TO YOU BEING CREMATED.
If there is no will, I am not even sure if your blood relatives can stop it if your husband decides to have you cremated.
The laws are different in every state.
I strongly suggest you consult with a funeral director ON YOUR OWN (that means without husband) and discuss these issues.
One more thing, Bibleannie. There can still be an autopsy, even though the body is being cremated.
It’s done all of the time.
If the cause of death is unknown, or the circumstances of death are suspicious, or if the family is demanding one, there will be an autopsy.
Speaking from my own experience, once a psychopath knows that you are onto them, it is NEVER forgotten.
The fact that your husband is talking to you about funerals and knows the cost of a traditional burial for you is chilling.
A HUGE red flag!!
Please do NOT minimize this or try to overlook it.
I would back away from this man and your current situation ASAP.
(Report abusive comment)
bibleannie says:
My S does not realize that I was the one who uncovered the truth about him at the motorcyle place he managed. At one point it he did accuse me of it but I denied it. It’s like this sick cat and mouse game that’s played constantly. Back then, when he worked there, he thought he covered his deviant ways so well and for some reason, I could always smell a rat with him, but could never, ever prove it. So I became my own PI without him knowing. When I showed him the proof of his sick activities logged on under his email and desktop, he didn’t realize that by his lies about why he fired that man of 20 years that his boasting about how this guy threatened his life just came back around to bite him. He couldn’t believe that anyone there would sabatage him, afterall, he once told my daughter when she was staying with us and being rebellious, that she didn’t fool him one bit cause he was the master manipulator. He was intoxicated when he had this dicussion with her, and wonder if he even remembers telling me this.
So, if has installed a keylogger on this laptop, he’s very good cause I constantly run spyware checks on it. If he does know and sees what I write about, and that is enough for him to have me disposed of, then he is beyond sick, he is the devil himself cause he has nothing on me, I clean the house everyday, don’t hardly go out but to grocery shop, he monitors where Im at all the time, I cook for him, clean for him, pack up the house we are currently renting and the other 7 in the past two years.
I’m rambling I know, but even now, my mind simply can’t wrap around how evil evil is.
(Report abusive comment)
skylar says:
it’s true, annie, your mind has NOT wrapped around how evil he is because you are talking about what would be ENOUGH for him to dispose of you. Can we say…um lets see… burnt toast? That would be ENOUGH. He is a psychopath. YES HE IS THE DEVIL HIMSELF. Can you deal with that and stay calm?
What we need to ask is what would be ENOUGH for him NOT to dispose of you. What would make it ENOUGH in his best interests not to dispose of you. Unless you always have it in your mind in that way, you CANNOT stay there. I thought you understood, but now, I don’t think that you do. Your assignment was to stay completely undercover, like a gray rock while getting enough money to escape. But now you have to leave or to somehow convince him that there will be money in it for him if you continue to live a bit longer.
Nothing you have done in the past matters. My own xP told me that 25 years of love and devotion and servitude meant nothing to him because I didn’t pick up the phone on one particular day, which showed that I was evil and must be punished. That’s the day I left.
(Report abusive comment)
kat_o_nine_tales says:
Bunny boiler… LOLOL.. cough, yeah I know that was a while ago. Better late than never though, right?
There are narcissistic types who aren’t truly dangerous except maybe to your sanity or reputation. For those I advocate mild revenge, such as letting it all hang out when that lawyer, ex-boss, friend, relative or social worker calls wondering whatever happened to your personal prodigal. Don’t hold back to make yourself look smarter. Let everyone know who cares to listen. And don’t worry if they don’t believe you. They will in time, they will in time.
I also advise any of you still dealing with hurt and anger that is truly rocking your world, to go VERY easy on yourself for a while. MAKE TIME for your emotions. Don’t be too quick to go out in the world, but make a little time to just lie down and feel bad for a while when it gets too much, and don’t be hard on yourself if a few tears squeeze out, or even a torrent.
And don’t kick yourself if you miss the N/S. They were a huge part of your life and now there is an empty hole. Grief is appropriate.
There are some sociopaths who are so unstable and dangerous they can’t be exposed. These kind of people you have escaped from as a lamb from the jaws of the wolf. They are the ones who ten years later you are still afraid they will find out where you live. As long as we live in such an open society, there will be people loose and free who should be locked up for the safety of society.
All you can do in this case is keep your eyes peeled. But still I say, if you do have to go into court with them… don’t cover anything up. Don’t forgive any arrears, don’t let any threat go unreported. These people are masters at making us look like idiots to the authorities. You may not be able to expose them to those authorities, but do not under any circumstances show fear or allow them to bully you into silence. This can only help them.
(Report abusive comment)
kat_o_nine_tales says:
Skylar… so totally and completely true. It’s that way they have of excusing their complete indifference with some stupid little flaw of yours. For my last one, it was that I remained friends with my ex-husband, with whom I am raising a difficult child. Not buddy-buddy friends, you understand, just civilized and polite to each other for the sake of the kid. In my boyfriend’s mind this was totally inexcusable and a betrayal of his devotion…?
(Report abusive comment)
henry says:
kat_o_nine_tales – I just want to say Hello – It has been a very long time !
(Report abusive comment)
skylar says:
Hi Kat,
I haven’t had time to say hi yet, today seems more hectic than usual.
It’s nice to meet you.
thanks for posting that interesting letter from your ex. His life sounds like the hell he deserves. Oh well.
(Report abusive comment)
candyharlau says:
the X-p is now working a second job – a home nurse. he’s administering medication to people that are home-bound.
I’m afraid he will steal their money and belongings (especially their jewelry). he had no problem doing any of that with me. He has no morals.
Should i expose him? Particularly because he’s been stealing drugs from where he currently works (he’s a male nurse).
total scum
ps… how coincidental that he can now work a second job to pay his bills and have what he wants. he couldn’t do that when i was with him. oh yeah, i was the one that was going to buy OUR house on the water, buy OUR yacht, etc, etc. Maybe he has to show his new F buddy that he has money.
sorry to b so crast…what is going to stop this monster?
(Report abusive comment)
geminigirl says:
Candy, maybe you could send an anonymous email {not from your home, it may get back to him, and hed be furious, and maybe suspect you,and take it out on you. You could send it,or a letter,{anonymous also] to the agency he is working for saying you have every reason to believe he cannot be trusted around other peoples money or possessions.They can then run a check on him to see if he has any previous convictions,-he may well have.Do you have any proof that hehas stolen drugs from the hospital he works in?Ive been a nurse, and I know that all drugs taken out of the medications cupboard have to be signed for and counted.
Unless he is bribing someone to sign for them, what proof do you have? Gem.XX
(Report abusive comment)
candyharlau says:
gem
every day he removes meds from aspirin to valtrex to …
it just so happens that i have saved several of the drug packs he brought home. (this has been done, so in case he decides to mess with me)
i can comfortably say that he has over twenty+ packs, with almost 30 days worth of meds in each, stockpiled in his apt. he hands them out like candy to friends and neighbors. he’s the man…he has to show his worth!
as for his superiors…he’s got them conned. they think he is the best pill deliverer (yes, that’s all he does all night…besides f one of the nurses). he is conning them, they’re turning a blind eye.. or maybe he’s sleeping with them. he’s a con man, in a con man’s world. no one looks in his large briefcase when he goes thru lots and lots of security. he is the only LPN that gives out meds to the staff when they have an ache and pain, too. i know he takes dishes & towels. What else could he bring in and out. hmmm… interesting thought?~! (ps this jail has been and continues to be under fire w/the media)
what a piece of work.
your thoughts?
(Report abusive comment)
geminigirl says:
I would post all the empty packs that you have saved, and send them[either give them your real name or tell them you fear retribution from him so could they keep your name a secret.} Send them, plus any other evidence you have of his stealing , to the top Health authority in your state, ask them to do a full audit on this Hospital,{or is it a jail?} Either way, if they do a full audit, the governor will be in big trouble if things dont match up.Say what youve said here, that he hands these meds out like candy to his friends. I repeat, if you have reason to fear hed “get back to you and make trouble,ask the authorities for protection, and or anonymity.All the best, gem.XXAlso, ask them to check security as youve reason to believe it is lax.
(Report abusive comment)