Comments on: After the sociopath: How do we heal? Part 10 – Forgiving http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/ Wake up to the danger of sociopaths Thu, 09 Sep 2010 06:28:41 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: one_step_at_a_time http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/comment-page-4/#comment-83284 one_step_at_a_time Sat, 24 Jul 2010 20:15:55 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/#comment-83284 everyone - i only caught a piece of this radio show about forgiveness, but the interviewer, sook yin lee, always does interesting shows. there is a diversity of ideas presented in the piece I caught. i am going to email the link to Donna also - maybe she'll post it as its own thread. http://www.cbc.ca/dnto/ everyone – i only caught a piece of this radio show about forgiveness, but the interviewer, sook yin lee, always does interesting shows. there is a diversity of ideas presented in the piece I caught.

i am going to email the link to Donna also – maybe she’ll post it as its own thread.

http://www.cbc.ca/dnto/

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]]> By: skylar http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/comment-page-4/#comment-48542 skylar Mon, 28 Sep 2009 06:18:32 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/#comment-48542 Thornbud, thank you for sharing your story. Your story, was like a fable for me. It helped me see the common thread in all of our stories: empathy. The details are horrific, but unfortunately, the basis of your story is the same as that of everyone else here: WE HAD TOO MUCH EMPATHY. it's like we crave something to do with all this empathy we carry around. The moment a P shows up, we feel relieved that we've found someone to dump our empathy on. Please forgive yourself. You were not aware of the burden you carry of being too empathetic. But you are now. I don't know the answer. I'm working on figuring it out. I can tell you one thing though. some P's don't know what they are doing, but mine does. He asked me why I had no EMPATHY. Thornbud,
thank you for sharing your story. Your story, was like a fable for me. It helped me see the common thread in all of our stories: empathy.

The details are horrific, but unfortunately, the basis of your story is the same as that of everyone else here: WE HAD TOO MUCH EMPATHY. it’s like we crave something to do with all this empathy we carry around. The moment a P shows up, we feel relieved that we’ve found someone to dump our empathy on.
Please forgive yourself. You were not aware of the burden you carry of being too empathetic.
But you are now.
I don’t know the answer. I’m working on figuring it out.

I can tell you one thing though. some P’s don’t know what they are doing, but mine does. He asked me why I had no EMPATHY.

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]]> By: ThornBud http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/comment-page-4/#comment-48514 ThornBud Sun, 27 Sep 2009 21:49:57 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/#comment-48514 Again i am stucked at night and it left just few hours for rest before i start new working week. I am also having medical tests, i am affraid so. Wish u all good night/day and peace with urselves Again i am stucked at night and it left just few hours for rest before i start new working week. I am also having medical tests, i am affraid so.
Wish u all good night/day and peace with urselves

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]]> By: ThornBud http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/comment-page-4/#comment-48513 ThornBud Sun, 27 Sep 2009 21:47:46 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/#comment-48513 I was reading Oxy's posts over and over again. God, Oxy, u are our lighthouse here, i cant find words to thank u for waking us up, teaching, sharing, educating. Huggs and blessings to all LF's I was reading Oxy’s posts over and over again. God, Oxy, u are our lighthouse here, i cant find words to thank u for waking us up, teaching, sharing, educating.
Huggs and blessings to all LF’s

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]]> By: ThornBud http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/comment-page-4/#comment-48512 ThornBud Sun, 27 Sep 2009 21:40:34 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/#comment-48512 Yeah, exactly, bleskies, it is like fllod. I am participating here, sometimes i post parts of my story, but what i believe and what i saw here is that we are not aware of the extent of damage. Sometimes i realise that if i start talking, i am going through the pain, and i try to avoid it by keeping inside. It is God's gift for me that i have found this site, where ppl trully can understand what i am going through. I was told that i used to buy love, that i am crazy for standing what i stood, no one understood or even knew about psychopaty. It is such relief to be here and to know u are understood, not blamed, not judged. I started to believe i am bad or insane, i was drowing into the guilt feeling, and if did not have my child, i would for sure commit suicide. Now i have to learn to live, to love myself and to take care of myself. Hope its not too late cuz my health is ruine till the max. I just have to find strength to live and to be there to my child and a man who carried me all this time, never asking anything. My main issue is to forgive myself, at first. I hate myself right now Yeah, exactly, bleskies, it is like fllod. I am participating here, sometimes i post parts of my story, but what i believe and what i saw here is that we are not aware of the extent of damage. Sometimes i realise that if i start talking, i am going through the pain, and i try to avoid it by keeping inside. It is God’s gift for me that i have found this site, where ppl trully can understand what i am going through.
I was told that i used to buy love, that i am crazy for standing what i stood, no one understood or even knew about psychopaty. It is such relief to be here and to know u are understood, not blamed, not judged.
I started to believe i am bad or insane, i was drowing into the guilt feeling, and if did not have my child, i would for sure commit suicide. Now i have to learn to live, to love myself and to take care of myself. Hope its not too late cuz my health is ruine till the max. I just have to find strength to live and to be there to my child and a man who carried me all this time, never asking anything.
My main issue is to forgive myself, at first. I hate myself right now

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]]> By: blueskies http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/comment-page-4/#comment-48508 blueskies Sun, 27 Sep 2009 21:26:06 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/#comment-48508 Thornbud, just before I hit he sack I wanted to say that when this 'all came out for me' it was like a flood... it still is to a certain extent, and I still have trouble separating things out,or being clear, or explaining, because there is SO MUCH! dont apologise for that.xxxx and the guys here are here to exchange this stuff, no matter what stage we're at respectively, or how upset we are or how complicated the situation, and help each other:)xxx Thornbud, just before I hit he sack I wanted to say that when this ‘all came out for me’ it was like a flood… it still is to a certain extent, and I still have trouble separating things out,or being clear, or explaining, because there is SO MUCH! dont apologise for that.xxxx and the guys here are here to exchange this stuff, no matter what stage we’re at respectively, or how upset we are or how complicated the situation, and help each other:)xxx

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]]> By: ThornBud http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/comment-page-4/#comment-48506 ThornBud Sun, 27 Sep 2009 21:20:03 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/#comment-48506 JLP0108, we are together in process :) me too, i dunno how, but i know i have to. maybe it is most important thing, to make a decision that we won't stand it anymore, and we wanna go through, we wanna move forward, leaving our P/N's behind, in all their dust and dirt JLP0108,
we are together in process :)
me too, i dunno how, but i know i have to. maybe it is most important thing, to make a decision that we won’t stand it anymore, and we wanna go through, we wanna move forward, leaving our P/N’s behind, in all their dust and dirt

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]]> By: ThornBud http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/comment-page-4/#comment-48505 ThornBud Sun, 27 Sep 2009 21:13:00 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/#comment-48505 blueskies and oxy, thanks so much, and sorry for spitting out my pain :) it just fled out from my soul, i needed to let it out blueskies and oxy, thanks so much, and sorry for spitting out my pain :) it just fled out from my soul, i needed to let it out

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]]> By: JLP0108 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/comment-page-4/#comment-48504 JLP0108 Sun, 27 Sep 2009 21:09:46 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/#comment-48504 There's one thing that does help me when I'm angry. It's not only that "They know not what they have done" (which is so very important), but it's the knowledge that God tells us that he will judge all, and that justice WILL be served. Revenge is His - I don't even have to worry about it. The Lord loves justice and hates robbery and iniquity (Isaiah 61:8). I know I will have to forgive my N ex husband, and am not there yet or even close, but I do know that God gives me his grace and complete forgiveness for all of my wrong doing. This means, that if I accept his grace and forgiveness, I need to be able to forgive all of those who have hurt me as he commands me to do. Unfortunately, this includes the monster. I dont' know yet how I'm going to get there, but I know that I have to. There’s one thing that does help me when I’m angry. It’s not only that “They know not what they have done” (which is so very important), but it’s the knowledge that God tells us that he will judge all, and that justice WILL be served. Revenge is His – I don’t even have to worry about it. The Lord loves justice and hates robbery and iniquity (Isaiah 61:8).

I know I will have to forgive my N ex husband, and am not there yet or even close, but I do know that God gives me his grace and complete forgiveness for all of my wrong doing. This means, that if I accept his grace and forgiveness, I need to be able to forgive all of those who have hurt me as he commands me to do. Unfortunately, this includes the monster. I dont’ know yet how I’m going to get there, but I know that I have to.

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]]> By: ThornBud http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/comment-page-4/#comment-48503 ThornBud Sun, 27 Sep 2009 21:08:20 +0000 http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/06/14/after-the-sociopath-how-do-we-heal-part-10-forgiving/#comment-48503 All the time i thought what did i do wrong, was i supportive enough, what should i do more to "earn" his love, but same time i was suffering bad conscience that i forgot to be there to my own child. I always was thinking: she is young, i will make it up, just this one more time to help him to stand on his feet, day after day, month after month, year after year. All that time my husband was next to me, holding me and helping, he knew smth is wrong with me, but he thought its cuz of all the problems and health issues. Yes, it was, but he did not know the whole story, he never doubted, i was always perfect wife, decent, it never crossed his mind i could be unfaithful. Now, i am full of guilt, full of bitterness, full of all kinds of shits, facing new medical treatments, with ruined health. Thanks God i managed to uprise my child into blooming person, but it costed me my only free time. I used to sleep 2-3 hours per day, and now i am all ruined, not able to stand and hold her All the time i thought what did i do wrong, was i supportive enough, what should i do more to “earn” his love, but same time i was suffering bad conscience that i forgot to be there to my own child. I always was thinking: she is young, i will make it up, just this one more time to help him to stand on his feet, day after day, month after month, year after year.
All that time my husband was next to me, holding me and helping, he knew smth is wrong with me, but he thought its cuz of all the problems and health issues. Yes, it was, but he did not know the whole story, he never doubted, i was always perfect wife, decent, it never crossed his mind i could be unfaithful.
Now, i am full of guilt, full of bitterness, full of all kinds of shits, facing new medical treatments, with ruined health.
Thanks God i managed to uprise my child into blooming person, but it costed me my only free time. I used to sleep 2-3 hours per day, and now i am all ruined, not able to stand and hold her

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