I am quite hyper to begin with so I enjoy being ‘busy’. Running most of the day all day isnt uncommon for me-EXCEPT on the weekends. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to lay in bed on a Saturday or Sunday, taking cat naps intermittently through the day, after the gym, or after a shower.

What I noticed and hadnt thought about it too much until now, is my ex COULD NOT enjoy any form of relaxation. We HAD to be doing something from the ass crack of dawn until bed time…and I would be repeatedly asked “what should we do now?” It got to the point that when we had his child at my house, HE had to be doing SOMETHING or was very unhappy…and I dont mean playing in his room by himself, either.

That always did strike me as odd…how he couldnt enjoy the art of timeless nothingness…why is that does anyone suppose?

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This post again, hits home as I struggle with letting myself off the hook for my nievity. My situation, Im sure, is quite similar to most everyone elses. I will share a bit relating to the post.

Hmmmm…when did I notice he was similar to a parasite? Lets see…was it when he volunteered me to drive his child (who lives 1.5 hours away from me) home every other weekend? No, no, maybe it was when he left my house 3 times after a fight, gave me back my keys and begged harder and harder each time for me to give them back. No, that wasnt it either. Maybe it was when he began telling people ‘we’ lived in a condo—which is a lie…he’s lived with his parents SINCE IVE KNOWN HIM (3.5 years to be exact, and he’s gonna be 36). Ummmm, maybe it was when he left his childs bike at my house after I told him “no” because I had no room for it. Or MAYBE…maybe it was after he ignored me for the weekend because I told him I wouldnt co-sign a motorcycle for him LET ALONE buy it outright for him!

It makes my stomache hurt knowing I did alot of ‘things’ for him, believing I was “in a relationship”, that I wouldn’t have otherwise done. I opened MY home to him and his child and gave of my things freely, only to be taken advantage of time and time again and attempted to be made to feel guilty for saying no!

Ill never forget his line to me (as he broke up with ME-via text mind you)…”your boundaries are what kept out alot of what I needed most”…

How sick is that, how sick is that?

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sorry for delay.i was busy reading in here, swallowing and digesting. i found myself lost within posts, still absorbing every single post, every time surprised with magnitude of similarities.
As u pictured: ” I dont even know the names of I LOANED to him to be able to “get to work” and also the stripclub and gym and probably even other womens houses!!! O M G OM G !!!!!
Scenario goes like this: First, “WE” need a car, than “WE” need to fix it, “WE” need new tyres…and at the end, HE needs to drive his new victim. YEAH, OMGOMGOMG

Anyways, we all know what will be the last stop of da ride – straight where it belongs: to the old cars cemetery.

OLE!! ))

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Hope you get lots done. We will be expecting you back, soon!

Oxy, Yes. Me too. I have weeded my relationship garden as well. If it’s a weed, no matter how small, it goes. Only the friends who are completely trustable and clear with me get to play.

And I am attempting to compassionately weed my ‘inner’ garden, as well.

As for the brain surgery– I could use a little brain surgery. And you seem like a fine surgeon!

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sorry about the “brain surgery”—! I think I “resemble that remark” too much too….I’ve been under some kind of stress most of my life, to the point I got to feel it was normal.

I am working hard on the “non-dramatic” life, and it is becoming more “natural” to me now…still not there, and may never be totally “There” but I think it is much better than it has ever been before.

Easing away from “drama queens” is a big step, and getting rid of the users and abusers and people who do not respect my boundaries is helping too.

The last “friend” I dumped was a very long term friend that broke his word to me over essentially “nothing big” but it was in a series of increasingly rude instances and I just didn’t want to deal with it any more. When I confronted him (gently) about it, he reacted (over reacted) with name calling, shouting etc. and that was the END.

I just don’t need “dishonest” and “rude” people in my life, whether it is a “small” dishonesty or a “large” one. It is getting easier to shed these people without a lot of guilt, feeling bad, asking myself if I am doing the “right” thing, etc. I’m learning to set boundaries and not second guess myself.

Not feeling the need to “rescue” people, though I still am willing to “Help” people who are trying to help themselves. Or as Jesus said, “giving, without expectation of repayment.”

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She said this is one theory of folks who have (not PD’d folks) issues with seeking drama (and the subsequent release of these stress hormones).

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“We are TOO CARING, among other things, and sometimes also WE are addicted to the “feel good” chemicals our brains put out by associating with the psychopaths and get “hooked” into the addiction just like a coke addict or an alcoholic. We KNOW it is bad for us but we fight the addiction and lose because the high (though never as good as it was at first) is soooo good, even if we must pay with the painful lowwwwwwws.”

Could you please quit picking my brain and childhood apart?OUCH@! It hurts! . Brain Surgery by Oxy.

As for the boredom…..I have a terrific personal example of my own addictive nature, and how I am not fully embracing ‘non-drama’ yet. I recently forgot to get my professional license renewed until the very last effing second, giving my boss reason to talk with me and dock my pay. How embarrassing and needless. Sure did make for some good conversations with girlfriends, some missed sleep– some good old guilt and drama. Course I still feel like an ass****.

When will I get it? As the Buddhist proverb states: Chop wood, carry water. Why make it more dramatic, and suffer?

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I think you just pegged it:

“MY OPINION is that to a great many people “real life” is BORRRRRING. There is an “old chinese curse” which goes “May you live in INTERESTING TIMES.”

War is “interesting”
Drama and homicide are “interesting”
Cancer is “interesting”
infidelity is “interesting”
Stirring up trouble is “interesting”

etc.”

I guess deep down inside I knew this, so the idea of the silly git drizzling on my husband’s broad shoulder made me anxious. She’s due to move on soon (job change), hopefully she won’t do any damage on the way out the door.

My husband is one of the most sensible men in the world. He’s also one of the kindest. I guess I’ll have to have faith in his common sense.

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ROTFLMAO…Now that I have been on Lovefraud…I have the answer…”Leave me alone. Get a dog!”

…and “bimbo-doublespeak”…that’s a classic!

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